Funny X Adult Jokes On Whatsapp

Some X rated hindi Adult Jokes message on whatsapp adult jokes. must read it is so much fun.

Santa won an English quiz by writing the opposite word of:
Manchester United
Guess What he has written?.
Woman chest are Divided.. !

Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yeah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a
bunk bed with my
younger brother and he
thinks we're making
sandwiches so this is the
code.
Cheese= Faster.
Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE
TOMATO CHEESE!

Brother: Stop making
sandwiches! You're getting
mayo all over my bed!

22 Best Funny Clean Jokes Message On Whatsapp

Just read this clean jokes message. from whatsapp with lol and fun, all the jokes collected.

+Whatsapp Jokes Message
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
'Yah'.
"Yah who?"
"Naaah, bro! I prefer Google."

Found This Picture On My whatsapp

+Whatsapp Jokes
Pappu: Papa, what do I give my girlfriend as a gift?
Santa: How does she look?
Pappu: She looks very sweet and pretty.
Santa: Give her my number.

Picture Of funny Clean Jokes Texzt

+Whatsapp Jokes Message
Pappu: What's green and has wheels?
Bunty: Ummm! Don't know.
Pappu: Grass, I lied about the wheels.

+Whatsapp Jokes
Dear Internet Users,
One day you will really regret not reading me.
Sincerely,
Terms and Conditions.

+Whatsapp Jokes Message
Santa: My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school.
Banta: So how did you do it? Santa: He's a weakling. So I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

+Whatsapp Jokes
Jeeto: Why do you ignore my calls?
Santa: I don't ignore your calls. I just love my ringtone.


+Whatsapp Jokes Message
A well-built guy was fooling around with Pappu's girlfriend. Pappu entered into an altercation with him.
Pappu: Are you serious?
Guy: Yes, I am. What'll you do about it?
Pappu: Nothing. It's just that I don't like pranks.

+Whatsapp Jokes
Santa was buying the movie tickets again and again.
Banta: Why are you buying the movie tickets again and again?
Santa: Some fool is standing near the door and tearing my tickets.


+Whatsapp Jokes Message
Filmy welcome to Baby Girl born to Twinkle and Akshay Kumar:
"Heyy Babyy",
Though it's 'Housefull' but 'Welcome' to 'Family' of 'Joker'! "OMG Oh My God!" "Meri Biwi Ka Jawaab Nahin"!
"Thank You"
'Khiladi'


After looking at the cheerleaders in Sri Lanka, one really can't blame Ravana for abducting Sita.

Adult Non Veg Jokes Hindi [Best Of Whatsapp]

The top sexy jokes in hindi language collection. this may of 2014. here are the jokes list. only for adult, baccho don't read this.just for fun.

1 aadmi ka lu#d generally 6 INCH ka hota hai.
1 shot me L#nd 50 baar ch#*t ke andar bahar jay to 1 shot me 25 fit Lu#d ch#*t me jata hai.
1 week me 3 bar ch#de to 1 mahina me 12 bar ch#dta hai. 25x12=300 ft lu#d ch**t me jata hai.
And 1 saal me 3600 fit jata hai.
agar koi aadmi 18 saal ki umar me ch#dna chalu karta hai to 60 saal tak cho#de to 42 saal me 151200 fit l#nd ch#t me jata hai.
39 inch=1 meter & 1000 meter=1 km
yani puri life me 1 aurat ki ch#*t me 46 k.m. lu#d jata hai.
ISE KEHTE HAI 'MATHS'.
Tum kya ghanta padhai karte ho

A Clean Jokes 

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150 .

Whatsapp Non Veg Adult Jokes: 18+ Only

X-Rated whatsapp funny jokes messge on my whatsapp. see some jokes in English and Hindi ....
Boy:
“I like the s0ft thing behind Your BRA“
Girl:
“What???
Boy:
“Ur Heart“
Girl:
“I Love the Big thing btween ur 2 legs“
Boy:Wat????
Girl:
“Ur Bike“ ;->

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply,,,,,, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.---------------
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly-- enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!!

Clean Jokes On Whatsapp: Hindi Sexy Jokes 4 Adult

Some short clean jokes message from my whats app sexy group. in India we have a good whats app group. every day we update some jokes in Hindi. Today i share some Hindi clean jokes.

The doctor took Santa into the room and said, "Santa ji, I have some good news and some bad news".
Santa: Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess.
Doctor: They're going to name a disease after you.

Pappu: A girl said, "I love you" to me.
Bunty: What did you say?
Pappu: I said, we are so similar. Even "I love me".

Santa: I hate it when my wife asks me to hold her purse.
Banta: What's wrong in it?
Santa: I don't like it when it doesn't match with what I'm wearing.

Pappu: My girlfriend is like a fart.
Bunty: Why do you say so?
Pappu: She's not at all good looking; so whenever I am out in public, I never own her.

Santa: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.
Banta: And did you?
Santa: Yes, Hell he was right, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.

Banta: What is an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.

Clean Hindi Sexy Whatsapp Jokes Message Only For 16+

Some Clean Jokes Collection from my whatsapp message. actually we have a whatsapp fun group. every day we update some Hindi and English jokes here.

Pathan to barber, "How much for a haircut?"
Barber: Rs. 50/-
Pathan: How much for a shave?
Barber: Rs. 25/-
Pathan: Good. Shave my head.

super funny jokes, it's found on whatsapp message

Q: Why are Egyptian children always confused?
A: Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.

Santa: I asked my wife to chuck me my deodorant from the other side of the room, and she did the most pathetic throw; it didn't even reach me.
"What the hell was that?" I asked.
"Sorry, but it says 'underarm only' on it", she replied.

Read more clean Jokes

Santa walks into his doctor's chamber and sits down in the waiting room. Another patient sitting next to him and who was stammering a little asked him, "Wwwhy dd Do yyy you wwant to sss see th the doctor?"
Santa: Well I have a prostate problem.
Patent: Yoyo you hhahavhavve prostate pp prob Lem, wwhat's ttthat?
Santa: Well, if you must know, I pee like you talk.

You can never ask a girl her age. There is no such concept. They don't have age but age groups which are:
Baby, Babes, Bebe and Biji!

Pappu: Please get well soon!
Bunty: Who are you talking to? I don't see anyone around.
Pappu: I am talking to my 'grades'...

New Adult Sexy Hindi Jokes On Whatsapp For Young Genr

Only adult hindi superbly funny jokes here you get. i am serious only for young generation all of those jokes, you guys can share this jokes with your whtsapp friends. after all i found this jokes on whatsapp.

1 day Rajnikanth got angry on his sweeper boy...........
He kicked him so hard that he went flyin in d sky wit his broom..
Today that boy is famous as “HARRY POTTER”


Do you know why a santa kept the door open while taking a bath?
Because he was scared that someone might see through the “KEY HOLE”.


Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Santa: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Santa: NA..
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Santa: BANANA

1st friend (Dukhi hote huye dusare friend se bola): Yar meri billi mar gai.
2nd friend: kaise mari?
1st friend : Yar maine use nahala diya tha.
2nd friend: Nahalane se bhi kahi billi marti hai?
1st friend: Nahi yar maine nahalane ke bad use ni****a bhi tha.



Rajinikanth shayari....irshaaaad...
Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum wah wah
Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum wah wah

Are aage kya hua?
...
Hona kya thaRajnikant ne phoonk mari aur sukh gaye hum...:-P
Papa-Ye kya tumhare maths me 1marks aaya hai
Son-jab irado me ho dugni chamak to hoslo me q nhi
...:
Papa- wat?
sirf 2 zero ka fark hai papa aa jayenge.................

Height of Good Luck ...!
Teacher: Hey! Stand up.
Tell me two pronouns.

.
.
.
.
.
Student: Who? Me?
Teacher: Very Good, Sit down

Whatsapp Funny Conversation Jokes Between Boy And Girl

Last Night Conversation on Whatsapp:
Girl:-Call me Shona
Boy: -My Shona...
Girl: -Call me Sweetheart
Boy: -Sweetheart...
Girl: -Call me Honey..
Boy: -Honey...
Girl: -You stupid, give me a call on my phone!
Boy: -Oh Ok Ok!!!

10 Sexy Clean Jokes Whatsapp Status Must Read

If Rajnikanth was born 200 yrs ago, British would have fought India to get Independence.


When did Maths get ruined?
When the Satan said, "Put the alphabets in Maths".


Husbands are the best persons to share your secrets with. They won't tell anyone because they probably never listen to you in the first place.

Teacher: Pappu, tell about Newton's 3rd law of motion.
Pappu: Ma'm, I know just the last part of it.
Teacher: Tell me as much as you know.
Pappu: And this is called Newton's 3rd law of motion!

When you convert Rs.50 lakhs into Rs.300 crores, you are called Vadra. When you do the opposite, you are called Mallya. The difference is in chasing the right woman!

Saif Ali Khan said, "Thank you, beta" to Sridevi's younger daughter on his wedding reception. Sridevi is now worried.

Bebo-Saif wedding:
The best revenge Shahid Kapoor can take is by marrying Saif's daughter who is 19 now.


Rajinikanth should have played for Mumbai Indians in "Champions League T20 2012" at SA. The rain would have got called off because of the match.


Pathan got a job in 'Idea' Customer Care Call Centre.
Customer: My Idea SIM is blocked, what to do?
Pathan: Don't get tense, remove 'Idea' SIM and use 'Airtel' SIM. Thank you for calling 'Aircell'.
Santa: Wives are like police.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Once they get hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you!

Whatsapp Clean Jokes Message Part 2: In Hindi And English

Girl to Astrologer: I have 2 boy friends. Whom will I get married to? Who's the lucky guy?
Astrologer: 2nd one will marry you. 1st one is the lucky guy.
*******************************
Dear Ex,
I won't block you or delete you. I'm keeping you there so you're able to see how happy I am without you.
*******************************
On a wall in a ladies room... My husband follows me everywhere.
Written just below it: I do not.
*******************************
Boss: Since the day I fired you, why the hell do you shit in front of my house every morning?
Servant: Boss, I just wanna show you that I am not dying hungry!
*******************************
Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, love is gained and loyalty is returned.
*******************************
Hathoan Ki Lakiroan Pe Mat Jaa, Ai Ghalib;
Naseeb Un Ke Bhi Hote Hain, Jin Ke Hath Nehin Hote!
*******************************
Those silly conversations we had and those nights when we stayed up late talking to each other. I miss them all, every one of them. My swetheart, I love you and miss you with each beat of my heart!

Whatsapp Santa Banta Sexy Hindi Jokes Message

Some sexy hot santa banta jokes message collection on my whatsapp.

Santa had a baby.
Santa - Bilkul mere jaisi aankhen "CHOTI-CHOTI". mere jaisi naak "CHOTI SI".
Wife baby ka nappy khol ke boli - "ETHEY KAKA NUMBER LE GAYA".

Preeto Ne Apni Gand Pe Tattoo Banvaya, Shera Di Gaddi.
Santa Ne Jab Ye Dekha To Gusse Mein Aakar Us Tattoo Wale Ke Paas Gaya,
Aur Apna Lund Nikal Ke Usko Bola
Santa: “Bhenchod Ab Ispe Likh Shera“

Santa - Aaj ghar jande hi jnani di kacchi utaar deni hai.
Banta - bara excited ho raha hai yaar. ki gal hai?
Santa - Excited ni yaar. badi tight hai, aaj galti se main apni jnani ki kacchi pahan kar aa gaya hun.

Santa Aur Banta Aapas Mein Shadi Ko Lekar Baatein Kar Rahe The Ki Santa Bola.
Santa: “Main Aisa Kya Karun Ki Teri Shaadi Ke Baad Main Teri Biwi Ko Cinema Le Kar Jau Aur Tu Naraz Bhi Na Ho?”
Banta Khush Hote Hue: “Meri Shaadi Apni Bahan Se Kara De“

Santa Banta ek bar mejaate hai. Jab vo peg pi rahe hote hai tab vo ek gashti ko dekhte hai jo unhe hi dekh rahi hoti hai.
Santa - us chikni ko dekh, main shart laga ke kah sakta hu, vo bahut maje de dekar chudegi.
Santa uske paas jata hai aur thodi der baad dono bahar nikal jate hai.
Agle din phir Santa Banta bar me aate hai aur same ladki ko dekhte hai. Is bar banta use le jata hai.
Agle din dono milte hai. Banta - yaar kal wali gashti ekdum phuddu thi isse acchi to meri biwi hai.
Santa - tu sach kah raha hai yaar, teri biwi usse jyada acchi hai.

Santa Ko Judwa Bachhe Chahiye Thhe
Socho Usne Kya Kiya
Sochho
Sochho
Sochho
Sochho
Yaar Dimag Lagao Its Very Simple
Abe Vo Santa Hai Uski Tarha Soch Na
Nahi Samjh Aa Raha, Chalo Mein Bata Deta Hun
Usne Condom Ke Ander 2 Hole Kar Diye



Santa - Tujhe Mangalsutra ka matlab pata hai.
Banta - Bilkul pata hai. Mangalsutar license hota hai kamsutra enjoy karne ka.


Ek Bar Santa Ki Eyes Mein Kuch Problem Aa Gayi, To Uska Eyes Ka Operation Karna Pada.
Operation Ho Gaya To Santa Ne Socha Ki Chalo Paisi Bachaye Jaye.
Doctor Ne Uski Aankho Ki Patti Kholni Shuru Ki, Aur Pucha
Doctor: “Kaisa Dikh Raha Hai Ab Aapko?”
Santa: “Doctor Saab Mujhe Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha”
Doctor Ne Uski Aankhein Saanf Ki Or Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Dr. Saab Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikh Raha”
Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Apni Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Apne Kapde Utare, Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha Ji”
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Bra And Panty Utarne Ko Kaha, Aur Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Nahi Ji Sab Kuch Kaala Kaala Hai”
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Santa Ke Samne Jake Apne Boobs Hilaye Aur Choot Mein Ungli Dale.
Nurse Ne Esa Kiya, Doctor Ne Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Doctor Saab Sach Mein Mujhe Kuch Najar Nahi Aa Raha”
Doctor Ne Santa Ko Zor Se Thappar Mara Aur Bola.
Doctor: “Bhonsdi Ke Kuch Bhi Nazar Nahi Aa Raha To, Tera Lund Kaisi Khada Ho Gaya Hai?“

Non Veg Whatsapp Sexy Message Jokes

Hindi Sexy Non Veg Jokes On Mujhe Mauka Do!!

Ek Ladki ka phone bajta hai.Tring...Tring...
Ladki - Hello !
Ladka - Hello, Chintu hai?
Ladki - nahi hai.
Ladka - Mujhe mauka do, ho jayega.

Funny Whatsapp Message on Government Job

Government Job
Ek Aadmi Government job ke liye interview dene gaya.
Interviewer - Aapki koi majboori to nahi?
Aadmi - Ji sir, main pahle fauz me tha aur jung ke dauraan meri taango ke bich ek bomb phata aur mere Tatte ud gaye.
Interviewer - OK, aap Monday se join kare. Hum sab 9 baje aa jate hai aap 11 baje tak aa jana.
Aadmi - aisa kyun?
Interviewer - Hum sab 11 baje tak kuch nahi karte bas Tatte khujate rahte hai.

Very Funny Jokes On Railway reservation form

Railway Reservation Form
Santa ne railway reservation form mein Ling ki jagah 6 inch likh diya.
Lady behind counter - Ye kya likha hai kato isko.
Santa - Kitna?
Lady - Pura.
Santa - Maan chudao saalo, main Bus se chala jaonga.

Hindi Non Veg Sexy Jokes Message On Whatsapp 4 Young GenR

Pota - Daadi aapne kon-kon se desh ghume hai...
Dadi - Beta Pakistan Hindustan aur Afganistan...
Pota - ab aap kaha ghumne jaogi??
...
Piche se Dada bola - Kabristaan
====================
Santa: Tere result da ki banya?
Pappu: Miss kendi aey es class wich ik saal hor laggay ga?
......
Santa: Saal pavain 2,3 lag jawan par fail na hovin mera putta
====================

Teacher: "What's half of 8?"
Rajinikanth: "4"
Santa: depend karta hai agar horizontally half karo to "0" and vertically karo to "3", 4 is the first time in history.
...
Rajinikannth lost and Sadda Santa rocks..
====================
Santa: Operation Me mujhe Kuch Ho Gya To Doctor Se Shadi Kar Lena.
Wife: Aisa Kyu Keh Rahe Ho?
...Santa:Kyun Ki Badla Lene Ka Yahi Tarika hai
====================
once Rajni, Santa banta n CID were going through forest
suddenly a strong storm came
santa said to banta,"ab hum bach nai paenge"
......
ACP said to Daya,"pata lagao ye tufaan kis taraf se aaya h"
n rajni said
"SORRY FOR SNEEZING
EXCUSE ME"
===================

Hindi teacher ne Santa & Banta ko ped par ulte latakne ki saza di.
Thodi der latakne ke baad Santa neeche gir gaya.
Hindi Teacher: Thak gaye kya ?
...
Funny Santa: Nahi pakk gaya !
bindujain

===================
Unbeatable Luv of Rajnikanth 4 his GF-
Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta he.
...Rajni: ok i'l C it..
...
Nxt day..
Gf:Hey wer is My Shadow? B-) :-)

Whatsapp 18+ Jokes Message In English 15 May 2014

A Midget went into a whorehouse and demanded service.....
After Much Discussion Amongst the girls. sylvia drew the short straw and disappeared upstairs with him. But it was only a moment later when they heard a loud scream and running upstairs to the room...

they found sylvia in a swoon. Standing next to her the midget, naked and sporting the longest dick the girl had ever seen.

After a silent of a moment one of the girls asked, " Wow, we never seen anything so big before, do you mind if we touch it?"
" No , Go Ahead......sain the midget, but whatever you do, no  sucking , i used to be 6 foot 5 inches tall.
 

Most Adult Hindi Funny Jokes Whatsapp: Divorce Wife

Husband and Wife in court getting a divorce.
The problem was who should get custody of the child?
...................
Wife jumped up and said: "Your Honor! I brought the child into this world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody."
..................
The judge turns to Husband and says "What do you have to say in your defense?"
..................
The husband sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose. "Your Honor. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out. Whose Pepsi is it? the machine's or mine?"
..................
Yeh sunkar...Wife replied : "Judge sahab... bartan mera.... dudh bhi mera.... aur usme dahi jamane ke liye 2 buund daalne se dahi bana toh fir wo dahi kiska..? mera ya do buund dalane vale ka"
........................
Husband replied : "Typewriter mein kagaz maine dala, typing keys daba-daba kar mehnat maine ki, fir chithi kiski? typewriter ki ya meri?"
......................
Frustrated Judge: "Abe madarchod, Agar tu chithi haath se hi likh leta to yahan par aakar custody lene-dene ki noubat hi nahi aati."

Whatsapp Hindi Jokes 4 Young Generation Only

Here are some Hindi jokes 4 only young generation. complete funny and creative jokes collection. share jokes on whats app friend. every day this site update new jokes in Hindi and English.

***********************
Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai.
To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
***********************
Pati -: Jee karta hai tumhri zulfon mein kho jau, jheel se aankhon mein bas jaaou, tumhari baho mein jhul jau…
Patni -: “Raj Kumar” hi rahoge, Ya, Kabhi “Emraan Hashmi” bhi Banoge?
***********************
Peter -: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si 3 cheeze sabse jahyahda pasand hai?
Ajeet -: Ek Mona,
Doosra Sona,
aur Tisra,
Mona ke saath Sona.
***********************
Teacher : passion ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
passion: Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
passion : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.
************************
Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas khatey dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji

Superbly Sexy Hindi Jokes Message Whatsapp Status

Get Dirty with some hindi superb dirty and sexy whatsapp jokes message. here last night i found on my whatsapp sexy group. i share you some of  this.

****************************

Hindi Adult Jokes Form Whatsapp Message

पति-पत्नी में झगड़ा हुआ और बात तलाक तक पहुंच गई। लेकिन पहले फैसला बच्चे के बारे में होना था कि वह किसके पास रहेगा।
न्यायाधीश ने पहले पत्नी से पूछा कि वह कोई एक वजह बताये जिस कारण बच्चा उसे दिया जाना उचित हो ।
पत्नी ने कहा - ''मैने उसे नौ महीने गर्भ में रखा है और बड़े कष्ट झेलकर उसे जन्म दिया है। यह बच्चा मेरे शरीर का हिस्सा है। उस पर सिर्फ और सिर्फ मेरा ही अधिकार है।''
न्यायाधीश हांलाकि उसकी बात से प्रभावित हुये लेकिन नियम के अनुसार पति से भी वही प्रश्न किया।
पति ने जवाब दिया - ''देखिये, यदि मैं कोला (शीतल पेय) की मशीन में एक सिक्का डालता हूं और एक गिलास कोला निकल कर बाहर आता है तो आप ही बताइये उस कोला पर मेरा अधिकार होगा या मशीन का ?''
****************************
3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant
****************************
A funny proposal message...
A boy and a girl playing hide and seek......

Boy hides somewhere and girl started searching him.....

Boy called girl on cell :- If u find me dat means u love me and i love u too....... And if u cant den i am der behind dat car.. cum.. and lets ve fun........
****************************
 Nipple Nipple dont be far,
can I press u in my car.
Up above the chest so high,
always milky never dry.
Let me suck you, dont feel shy.

****************************
RAVI WENT TO A CHEMIST SHOP AND ASKED FOR A CONDOM OF HIS SIZE . THE SHOP OWNER WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE HIM ASK A CONDOM OF HIS SIZE.SO THE OWNER TOLD THE MAN TO PLACE A ORDER AND COME BACK AFTER ONE WEEK . RAVI PLACES THE ORDER AND GOES HOME.
AFTER ONE WEEK HE COMES BACK TO THE SHOP TAKES THE CONDOM AND GOES TO HIS HOME . THE SHOP OWNER FEELS SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THIS SO HE CALLS THE POLICE AND TELLS THEM ABOUT THE CONDOM ISSUE.THE POLICE TAUGHT THAT HE MUST BE SMUGLLING . THE POLICE GOES TO HIS PLACE , RAVI LIVED ON THE THIRD FLOOR .
WHEN THE POLICE BROKE OPENED THE DOOR THEY SAW THAT RAVI WAS WEARING THAT BIG CONDOM. SO THE POICE SAYS
POLICE : "HANDS UP , SALA SUAR KA BACCHA SMUGLLING KAREGA ITNA BADA CONDOM PEHAN KE APNE BAAP KE SHAADI MAIN JAA RAAHA HAI KYA ? "
AT THIS RAVI REPLIED
RAVI : " NAHI SAAHAB , AAJ GROUND FLOOR MAIN FANCY DRESS COMPETITION HAI AUR MAIN USME LUND BAN RAHA HOON".
****************************
 A British Diplomat visits India. The Indian Prime minister is showing him around.
They pass the Parliament House and find a man pissing on the wall.
The British Official asks in Hindi: "daekhoo saalaa muut rahaa hai!
tumharaa police nahin pakarta? kaisaa daesh hai Bharat?" (Look, the bugger
is pissing. Doesn't the police catch hold ? What a country!)
Undaunted, the Pradhanmantri replies: "Nahin. Ham Hindustani log apnaa
khud pakartaa." (No, We Indians hold it ourselves.)

Whatsapp Hindi Jokes On Santa Ka Shuhag Raat New Version

Old santa ka shuhag raat but in new taste.

Suhag raat ki ratko----Apni Wife se Se-x.

Karne Ke bad pati ne apni patni se puchha......................
Ki?? Tune kya mehsoos kiya???/
...
...
....
Toh Patni boli

5% sharam
5% dard ...or
90% Purane din Yaad Aa gaye......

Whatsapp English Adult Jokes Message 12 May 2014

A man goes to a brothel, hires one of the girls and spends
the next couple of hours giving her the best fuck she’s ever
had. He returns the following night, gets the same girl and
gives a repeat performance. By the end of the third night the
girl is so impressed she offers him a session on the house and
it’s absolutely wonderful..........
“You’re the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me,”
she tells him. “If I pay you £200 will you do it again, now?”
The man agrees but as he looks down at his small and lifeless
manhood he sneers at it and says, “You’re bloody good at
spending it, but when it comes to earning!”

Hindi Dirty Story Jokes Message On Whatsapp 11 May 2014

Ek gaon me ek parivar tha.
usme baap ar 2 bete the.
unki ek bhens thi.
unhe bhens se bahut pyar tha.🐃

Ek din bhens mar jati h.
tino bahut dukhi hote h.
dukh me bap kuen me kood jata h or mar jata h.

kuen se pari niklti h or bap se kahti h ki agr tu mjhe 5 bar chod de to tu jinda or teri bhens jinda.

baap khush hota h or lag jata h.1..2..3..4..bar. budhhi haddi itne me jabab de jati h.

Baap or bhens k gam me bada beta b kue me kood jata h.

pari phr aati h or kahti h mujhe 10 bar chod de .

tu jinda, tera baap jinda or bhens jinda.

beta khush ho kr chalu ho jata h.1..2..3....7..8..9.. bar kar k vo b khatm ho jata h..

Chhota beta sochta h ki puri duniya khatm to vo b kud jata h kue me.

pari phir aati h ar kahti h ki tu mujhe 15 bar chod de
.tu jinda, tera bhai jinda, tera bap or bhens jinda.
chota beta khush hota h or lag jata h ..1..2..3......12..13..14..15....20...50..100..500 bar chod deta h..itna chodta h ki pari mar jati h.

Pr wish k according sb jinda ho jate h.

kai din bad jb sb baithe hote hain sath me to uska baap kahta h ki beta tune aisa kya kiya ki pari hi mar di tune..;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Chota beta kahta h ki "bapu jb meine bhens mar di to pari kya chij h??"😛

Hindi Funny Jokes: A Young Girls After Honeymoon

The ultimate guide to hindi funny jokes....

A young girl after her honeymoon..................
came fully exhausted and -tired
When her friends asked her what happened?
She replied :---------
When this 70 year old bastard told................... me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
"I thought It was MONEY" :( :"(

18+ Funny English Whatsapp Jokes On 10 may 2014

Best Funny English Jokes Here From Whatsapp Message

Throughout his teenage life, John had been warned by his
God-fearing father that brothels were the ultimate places of
sin and that anyone going to them would die a dreadful
death.
However, one night out on a stag party John and his mates
ended up in the red light district and banishing all thoughts
of his father from his mind, John went into a brothel. He was
taken upstairs by Madam and ushered into a bedroom where
a beautiful girl lay naked on the bed. Suddenly as he looked
at her, all the warnings came back to him and he cried aloud,
“Bloody hell, my dad was right, I can feel myself going stiff
already.

Read more Funny Whatsapp English Jokes

PC Jenkins was doing his nightly rounds when he discovered
a woman in an alleyway. Her blouse was open, her knickers
were round her ankles and she was eating a packet of sweets.
“What’s going on here?” asked PC Jenkins.
“Bloody hell, has he gone?” she replied, looking around.

18+ Adult English Jokes On Whatsapp 09 May 2014

A husband and wife went-to Manchester for the day...... He had
a meeting in the --morning and she went off---- to do some
shopping.... Now the meeting finished much earlier than
expected so the man went off into the centre of town and
landed up in the “better part” of the ..............red light district. As he
was passing one of the “ladies” flats, a beautiful hooker
came out and before he knew what he........... was doing, he asked
her how much she charged a session............ The hooker looked at
him disdainfully and told him it would be .................£150.
“Bloody hell, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,that’s daylight robbery,” he exclaimed, “I’ve
only got £30,” and feeling very disappointed he left to meet
his wife for lunch. Just as the meal was over, the same
hooker and a client entered the restaurant and on seeing the
man and his wife she whispered.......... to him as she passed.
“I hope that’s taught you a lesson, ...........that’s what you get for
£30

Whatsapp Hindi Funny Jokes: Love V/s Daaru

Love V/s Daaru-
.
.
.
Love-- Pagal Banata Hai
Daru-- Mood Fresh Karti Hai

Love- -Me Neend Nahi Ati Hai
Daru-- Pee Kar Neend Achi Ati Hai

Love-- Me Date Ke 2000/-
Daru-- 1 Botle K 350/-.
.
.
Love- -Me Sabki Suno
Daru-- Pee Kar Sabko Sunao
Faisla- Aapke Haath Me

.
Piyo- Sir Utha Ke..... .
Ya
Jiyo- Ladkhadake.....
.
.
.
Jai Baatli!!

Hindi Funny Jokes On IPL: gulabi aa gaya

came up with 2 jokes:

1. After Angelina Jolie's leg, Santhakumaran Sreesanth's "towel on his waist" needs a separate twitter page.

2. The bookie said "Bhai bowl the first over with confidence and second over for us. Sreesanth heard, "Bhai bowl the first over with confidence, and bowl the second with over confidence"

Hindi Funny Jokes: Top 10 Most Funny Tweet In IPL 2014

IPL ka 1) Bookie: So, what plan today?Sreesanth: I'll get smashed for over 10 runs per over. B: Ok. So, you'll bowl badly? S: No, no. Normally.

2) Sreesanth agreed to Spot Fixing as he needed money to pay for a job in Indian Railways.

3) MMS to address the nation tonight to proudly claim tht finally there is a scam which can't be traced back to his govt

4) We all thought that Sreesanth was an under-performer.  Turned out to be "under-the-table" performer.

5) Our khap is 150% sure that the boys accused in spot fixing are innocent. The bookies must have dressed provocatively

6) Spot d Spot Fixer is new item on TV in IPL matches. Winner gets a hug from the Spot fixer live on TV after Man of d Match Award .

7) Spot Fixing Pratibha Patil could replace Sreesanth. She was never fixed to one spot.

8) Rs 60 lakh was given to Sreesanth to wear a Towel ... had we given the same amount to Poonam Pandey .... one year no Towel

9) Salute to Ashish Nehra, he gives more runs than Sreesanth without taking moneybulawa aaya he hai!!!

Whatsapp Hindi Jokes Message: First Night Of Honeymoon

Funny Whatsapp Hindi Jokes On First night of Sex

On honeymoon first night husband asked to his wife:
Is this really your first night of sex????/

Wife with shame:
No, no, actually first time,
I am doing sex with someone at night. :p

 Boy-Girl: What date set for the wedding?
Girl: with shy... December 22.
Guy: Any particular reason?
Girl: with shy, on 22 December is a  long night of the year for honeymoon.


After some time of marriage on a day when husband wife having sex
Wife: "You're like a mobile"
Husband with excitement: "Do you like my vibration?”
Wife: NO “your networks must fail when you go to the basement”

In the Honeymoon first Night after sex: Hindi Funny Jokes

Funny Husband to his Sexy wife: Darling, there is no bleeding
Sexy Wife: sale, tune mere andar kya koi goli Mari thi?

Ek ladki check up ke liye gai, Doctor ki niyat khrab ho gayi.

Doctor ne uske kapde utarwaye.
Girl:- kiss kyu le rhe ho?
Doctor:Checkup ke liye.
Girl:- Chuche kyu daba rahe ho?
Doctor:- Breast cancer check karne ke liye.
Doctor ne chudai karna shuru kar diya.
Girl:- kya kar rahe ho?
Doctor:- Aids checkup.
Girl:- Check kya karna hai. AIDS ki to dawayi lene aayi thi mein.

Whatsapp Hindi Sexy Jokes: Ratan Tata Hates A R Rehman

Hospital Mai Ek Ladka Admit Tha Usne Nurse Ko Kaha I Love U Tumne Mera Dil Chura Liya Hai
Nurse-Sarmakar Boli Chal Zhute Hamne Toh Sirf Kidni Churayi Hai

Ratan Tata Hates A R Rehman

Guess Y?

=
=
=
=

Bcuz . . . .

He Made D Song Jiya Jale Jaan Jale NANO Tale Dhuwan Jale
========================
Mahatma Gandhi Ne Shadi Se Pehle Kasturba Gandhi Ko Love Letter Likha

.

.

Dear Kasturba Jaan I Love U Tumhara Baapu

Ye Duniya Eak Raaz Hai Yaha Sub Kuch Chupana Padta Hai Dil Main Chahe Jitane Bhi Gum Ho Aey Dost Magar Mehfil Main Muskurana Padta Hai

8 All Time Best Whatsapp Funny Message In English 06 May 2014

Husband Wrote A Message On His Wife Whatsapp

One spelling mistake can cost like hell !!
Husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forget to add an "e" on the last word.
He wrote "Hi darling I'm experiencing the best time of my life & I wish you were her."

Funny Whatsapp Message On A Guy Went For And Action Audition

 A guy named Chukwudi went for an acting audition, and he was picked. In the movie, He starred in a part where he was hit by a car.
After production, the movie was released and started selling in the market. It got to his hometown and his mother watched how her son
was killed she wept uncontrollably.
A week later,Chukwudi went back home to visit his mother When she saw him she got scared and thought dat it was her son's ghost until he threw N25,000 at her. With dis, the mother realised dat her son was alive
so she decided to pray for her son saying; Chukwudi my pikini , just small motor bashed u and u brought me all this big money! Now, as u go back 2 Lagos let the biggest caterpillar bash u.

Whatsapp Funny Message Last Night On Confusion Between Heart And Mind

 When there is a confusion between your heart

& your mind . Always listen to your heart.

Because, your mind knows everything.

But, your heart knows only you...

This One Really Funny You can share this message on your whatsapp message

LISTEN GUYS...

If something was meant to be
yours it will, even if it
flies away and it disappears for
many years, still
it
will return to you.
Whatever is not meant to be
yours, even if you cage it, it'll
always escape
your
fold.” What I'm trying to mean here
is, if you’ve
got
someone that you adore so much,
you have done
all your damnedest to make them
understand
that you are serious with them but
still they're
playing hard to get.
Let them go and face the
world. If they were meant to be
yours, trust me
they'll come back one day and
you'll be the
happiest person in this world. So,
don't stress too
much, don't panic a lot and
don't be under pressure. Just relax,
pray to God and Be Patient!!
What is Meant for u will Always be
yours!!

TRUE or FALES???

 ExCellent Quote Message By A Whatsapp Girls

Excellent quote by GIRL's

Its not that we expect too much from a boyfriend or a husband. ...

Its just that our DAD has set very HIGH standards on how we should be treated...

This One from whatsapp

Only Genius Can Answer

In a car there's a driver and a child..
The child is the son of that driver, but that driver is not the father of that child, then
who's that driver..???

An interesting exchange between two geniuses: Whatsapp Message

Einstein said to Chaplin: "What I most like about your art... You don't say a word, and still the rest of the world understands you & admires you."

"It is true", answered Chaplin, "but your glory is even greater. The whole world admires you, even though they don't understand a word of what you say!"

Pick ur last digit of ur Whatsapp number and answer the following question nd be honest.....

0...Who broke ur virginity?

1...What is the best ever moment of ur life?...

2...Who broke ur heart?

3...who gave u the best sex ever?
4...Who are u dating now?

5...Where did u meet ur partner?

6...Why did u leave ur ex?

7...How many ex do u have?

8...Have u ever cheated ur partner?

9...When last time did u have sex

Funny Message On My Girlfriend Whatsapp: it's not wife but wifi

A man received message from his neighbor ...
 Sorry sir I am using your wife...I am using day and night ...
I am using when u r not present at home....
In fact I am using more than U R using....
.I confess this because now I feel very much guilt...
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.....
Man went home and had a big fight with his wife......
.Few minutes later he received another message...
Sorry Sir spelling mistake...
it's not wife but wifi..

English 18+ Adult Jokes For Whatsapp Message

Jack was sitting at the bar looking dejectedly into his pint of
beer.
“Heh, Jack, what’s up?” asked the barman.
“Everything,” he replied. “I got so drunk last night, I can’t
remember what I did, but when I woke up to find myself in
bed with a woman, I naturally gave her £50.”
The barman laughed. “Don’t worry, mate, it happens to all
of us. You’ll just have to accept that you spent the money and
can’t remember what it was like.”
“No, no, you’ve got me wrong,” replied Jack, “the fact is that
the woman in bed with me was my wife and she automatically
gave me £10 change.”

Engineering Pick Up Line for Whatsapp Only For Enginneering Student

If you are not an engineering student, then please don't waste your time here. only engineering student can understand those pick up line : Engineering Pick-Up Lines

-- I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
-- You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
-- Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
-- My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
-- Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
-- Wanna come back to my room?... and see my 300mHz Pentium II?
-- How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
-- You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
-- You're sweeter than fructose.
-- We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.
-- Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?
-- Wanna see the programs in my HP?
-- Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
-- You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!
-- I'd like to browse through your clothes like I browse through Netscape.
-- Hey baby, let's make a stress-strain curve together.

Sexy English Whatsapp Jokes Message on 05 May 2014

A man knocks at the door of a whore house and asks the
Madam for “a girl, please”.
Now this particular Madam is an unscrupulous bitch and
when she sees how naive the man is, she reckons she’ll get
away with giving him an inflatable doll and he’ll never know
the difference.
But after a few minutes the young man appears.
“Everything alright?” she asks.
“Well, I don’t know,” he replies. “I bit her on the bum, she
farted and flew straight out of the window.”

Epic Adult English Jokes Whatsapp Message On 04 May 2014

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"

Funny Whatsapp Jokes: How to Test Virginity

Man: I am getting

married. How would I

know if my wife is a

virgin????

---
Doc Akpos : Get a
Virginity test kit.
Man: What’s that???
--
Doc Akpos : Get a Can of
Red Paint, a can of Blue
Paint and a hammer.
Man: What ? Are you
mad?
--
Doc Akpos: Paint your
right Ball Red and Left Ball
Blue and as you remove
your underwear, if your
wife says, ‘that’s the
strangest pair of balls
I’ve ever seen”,
Hit her head with the
hammer!
How Many share For
Akpos

Funny Hindi Whatsapp Jokes Message - pehle tum dikhao

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.