English Superb Dirty Jokes: acute angina

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him.

After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him.

She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina".

The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message About Women For Girlfriend

Jokes about women - Fortune-teller
A lady comes to fortune-teller, who can read palms.
- Will anyone marry me?
- No.
- But you haven't even looked at my palm.
- I see it from your face...

Adult English Jokes: Whatsapp Message Sent 11 Sep 2014

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. "Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"

Dirty English Adult Jokes Whats-app Message 21 June 2014

Whats-app Chat  :- What did the Gujju have in the morning.?
Whats-app Chat:- LIGHT SNAKES (  snakes ) for breakfast...

Swot analysis by Santa :- my wife, jeeto. Weakness : Banta's wife , preeto . Opportunity : When Banta is on tour. Threat : When I am on tour..

Funny Man Jokes On Whats-app Message
A man had a very clever parrot whose memory was second to
none. One day, the man came up with a foolproof way of
making lots of money. He got the parrot to learn the
National Anthem and then took it down the pub where he
told the customers, “I bet £10 that my parrot can sing the
whole of the National Anthem.”
Some interest was shown and the money was placed on the
bar. Sadly though, the parrot never uttered a note and the
man had to pay out a lot of money. When he got home, he
was beside himself with rage.
“You bloody stupid, half-witted bird. You’ve lost me a lot of
money today.”
“Now wait up a minute,” said the clever old bird. “Just
imagine the interest you’ll get tomorrow when we go back.”

Tits Out Legs Open, Funny Text From Whatsapp

Funny English Jokes Message Whatsapp 02 June 2014

A New WhatsApp Message on English  Jokes...
A man is drinking at the bar when a huge ugly woman sits
down on the stool beside him. He ignores her completely
and they drink away quietly for over an hour. Suddenly, the
woman turns to him and slurs, “If I have another drink, I’m
really going to feel it.”
He replies, “To be honest, if I have another drink I probably
won’t mind.”

Whatsapp 18+ Jokes Message In English 15 May 2014

A Midget went into a whorehouse and demanded service.....
After Much Discussion Amongst the girls. sylvia drew the short straw and disappeared upstairs with him. But it was only a moment later when they heard a loud scream and running upstairs to the room...

they found sylvia in a swoon. Standing next to her the midget, naked and sporting the longest dick the girl had ever seen.

After a silent of a moment one of the girls asked, " Wow, we never seen anything so big before, do you mind if we touch it?"
" No , Go Ahead......sain the midget, but whatever you do, no  sucking , i used to be 6 foot 5 inches tall.
 

Whatsapp English Adult Jokes Message 12 May 2014

A man goes to a brothel, hires one of the girls and spends
the next couple of hours giving her the best fuck she’s ever
had. He returns the following night, gets the same girl and
gives a repeat performance. By the end of the third night the
girl is so impressed she offers him a session on the house and
it’s absolutely wonderful..........
“You’re the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me,”
she tells him. “If I pay you £200 will you do it again, now?”
The man agrees but as he looks down at his small and lifeless
manhood he sneers at it and says, “You’re bloody good at
spending it, but when it comes to earning!”

Whatsapp Sexy Adult English Jokes - key of his wife

King John was off to the crusades, but before he left, he told
his faithful servant that he would leave with him the key of
his wife’s chastity belt for safe keeping.
“If you don’t hear from me within five years, you can let her
out,” he said.
The King set off, but he’d only been gone an hour when his
trusty servant caught up with him.
“Sire, Sire,” he panted. “You gave me the wrong key!”

Sexy Whatsapp English Jokes Message Collection

A man walks into a bar with a cat and an ostrich and orders
three pints of beer.
“That’ll be £4.60,” says the barman and the man hands over
the money. Sometime later, another round is ordered and
when it comes to paying, the cat says “You get these ostrich,
I think it’s your shout.”
The three stay in the bar drinking all night but no matter
how many rounds they have, the cat manages to get out of
paying. As the bell for last orders rings, the barman says to
the man, “How come you’re drinking with a cat and an
ostrich?”
“Well,” says the man sadly, “not long ago, I was out walking
on the beach when I found an old bottle. I took out the cork