A Super Funny Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Message 30 Sep 2014

A Somalian arrives in Australia as a new immigrant. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says........


'Thank you Mr. Australian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passer by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Afghani!'


The man goes on and encounters another passer by. 'Thank you for having such beautiful country here in Australia!'

The person says, 'I not Australian, I Iraqi!'


The new arrival walks further and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Australia!

'That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Pakistan, I am not from Australia!'


He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an Australian?'

She says, 'No, I am from India!'


Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Australians?'

Hindi Sardar Ji Dirty Jokes: Sardar on Sex Mood

Sardar- jaldi se chaddi nikalo! Aaj Sex ka Mood hai !
Ladki- maine chaddi nhi pehni.
Sardar-thik hai, kal chaddi pehan k aana.
Kal kar lenge !

Funny Sardar Ji Hindi Jokes: On Condom Store

Sardar Medicl Stor Pe Condom Lene gaya..
Pr Wha Jakr Condam ka Nam Bhul gaya..
Bahut der tak sochne k baad
sardar Zip Khol k..
O Yaar,
Iska body cover de do.!

Ultimate Sardar Ji Jokes: Aage Piche Do no Side Karna


Sardar ne Taxi bechkar XEROX ki shop khol li..
Dost ne pucha to bataya.
Yaara dil khush ho jata hai jab
ladkiyan aakar kehti hain "aage piche dono side karna

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message: Village Girl With Condom

Sonu was making love to a village girl and he was not using a condom....

Suddenly the girl noticed and ask "are you not using a condom?"

Sonu relied: yes!

She said "hope you don't have hiv/ aids"!

Sonu replied: yes of course i dn't have dem.

Village girl: thank God.. Bcos i don't want to get that thing again!

Sonu fainted


Whatsapp Jokes On Ladka Ladki On Fire

1 ladka ladki ko prpose krta h
ladka-i lv u
ladki-par me to kisi or se pyar karti hu
kafi der tk ladka ladki ko dekhta h or fir bolta h-
"teri maa nu dasuga":

Whatsapp Hindi Dirty Message On Non Veg Jokes 21 Sep 2014


Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Wife: Sunoji, kaam karte waqt mere ko baho mein mat liya karo,Tabhi kamwali boli: Madam achhi se samjha do, mai to bol-bol ke thak gai.

Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola “Beta tum bahut padhoge” Ladka : Saale padh to mein 3 saal se raha hu, ye bata pass kab hounga !!

Hindi Non Veg Jokes
wife: Itni rat ho gai pr ye abhi tak nai aye jarur ladki ka chakar .Santa ki ma: Hamesha bura hi sochegi.kya pta kisi truck k nche aa gya ho

Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Santa's Wife to Santa,Suno ji es condom ko 15vi baar use ker rahe ho ab to iska picha chado.Santa.Oye!! Par iski expiry date toh 2015 ki hai

Funny Whatsapp Message Jokes 20 Sep 2014

Lets spare a thought for d man who told his wife that he was going 2 China on d Malaysian plane and now cant leave his girlfriends apartment

I asked my therapist what I should do with my life.
Ha ha, just kidding, as if I would ask a bottle of vodka a fucking question.

My girlfriend called me a 'spineless pussy'.
I was so angry I made her breakfast in bed.

I asked my grandad if he could still do a handstand.
He only lasted about two seconds before unintentionally tea bagging himself.


When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don't believe you."

It's been 4 years to the day that I threw that boomerang.
I still find myself looking over my shoulder and living in fear.

When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he's "Incredible."
But when I do it,
I'm, "an alcoholic."

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message About Women For Girlfriend

Jokes about women - Fortune-teller
A lady comes to fortune-teller, who can read palms.
- Will anyone marry me?
- No.
- But you haven't even looked at my palm.
- I see it from your face...

English Jokes Whatsapp Latest Funny Message 18 Sep 2014


A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of the females thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realises he is staring and enquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry" replies the man and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, who is getting really interested, enquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies, "F*** me! Can it whistle as well?"

Funniest English WhatsApp Jokes Message 18 Sep 2014


A man stumbles into the police station yelling blue murder
that his car has been stolen.
“Can you tell me where you left it, Sir?” asks the duty
sergeant.
“On the end of this bloody key,” he screeches.
Now it had been a difficult evening and the duty sergeant’s
temper was at boiling point. He retorted, “Listen here, you
wretched little man, you’re so bloody drunk, you can’t
remember anything and your whole behaviour is
disgraceful. Why! you’ve even left your flies undone.”
“Fucking hell,” slurred the drunk, “they’ve stolen my
girlfriend as well.”

Whatsapp Adult New Jokes: Singham Returns


Adult Hindi Jokes
Joke of d day:
Singham returns trailer begins with, "Bharat mein sabse jyada kaala dhan hai"

Followed by, Reliance entertainment presents.

A Superb Funny English Jokes: Monday Morning


Funny English jokes found on whatsapp fun group.

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers..
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

now....
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Sometimes Women are cleverer than men, so
Don't mess with them !!!!!!!

Latest Hindi Whatsapp Jokes Message 16 Sep 2014


Panditji sex ke baad
condom dho ker rekhne lage
to pandtain boli
Is ka kya karoge?
Abhi15din naya nahi pahnenge
"SHRAADH" chal rahe h

He : Aaj der raat tak pyar karenge ji
She : TV on karo chupchap  Durdarshan ke samay chutdarshan Ki baat mat karo


Do Ladkiya Fighting Kar rahi Tabi Ek faadu Gaali
Ka Invention huva
_-
-
-
--
-
Saali , Agar Lund Aeroplane Hote To Teri Choot
Airport Hoti

New Non Veg Taking Jokes In Hindi 15 Sep 2014

NonVeg Jokes
Sale ajkl k ladke gf ka name bina kisi dar k "Janu"  save kar lete hai, Hamare time to girls dosto ka nam bhi "Joga Mistri" rakhna padta tha

NonVeg Jokes
Papa tussi "PAPA" kidda bane?

Santa:
bus puttar
"PA" "PA" ke

NonVeg Jokes
Boyfriend : Ghar pe akeli ho? 

Girlfriend : Haan bhej rahi hu boobs ki photo maa ke lode 

NonVeg Jokes
कितना अधूरा लगता है..

जब बादल हो और बारीश ना हो,
जब जिंदगी हो और प्यार ना हो,
आंखें हो पर ख्वाब ना हो,
जब खड़ा हो और जुगाड़ ना हो...

क्या आपको समागम करने में तकलीफ होती है?
ढीला हो जाता है?
जल्दी स्खलन हो जाता है?
जानिए आपकी समस्याओ का हल रात 11Pm को


WhatsApp Funny Jokes: Sardar On Fire

Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
===================
Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked: "Too uper kyon aaya?"
Sardar: "Apple Khane"
Monkey: "Yeh to mango tree"
Sardar: "Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon"
===================
Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
===================
Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
man- are waha Vo kaise?
sardar- Maine Girls collage Bus ka Drive Hu na.


Double Dose Of Viagra: A Funny Jokes Only For 18+

A man walked into his doctor's office on Friday and asked for a double dose of Viagra.
"What do you need it for?", the doctor asked.
"Well, my ex wife is coming over tonight, my girlfriend is coming over Saturday and my wife gets home from her business trip on Sunday", he replied.
On Monday, the man walks into the doctor's office with his right arm in a sling.
"What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Nobody showed up" said the man

Non Veg Hindi Jokes Message 12 Sep 2014


Boy : may I kiss u....??
.
.
Girl : No
.
Boy again : May I kiss u.......??
.
Girl : No..
.
Boy desperately asks :
PLEASEEEEE,MAY I KISS U.....??
.
.
.
Girl : Kutte, kaminey ...
Teacher thodi naa hoon jo
permission maang raha hai
ZABARDASTI nahin Kar sakta
kya....??
=======================
Pappu - Tum to meri Chand ho......!
.
.
.
Pappu ki gf- Aur tum ho mere
Neil Armstrong....!
.
.
.
Pappu - Wo Kyo?
.
.
.
Gf ( sharmate huye ) boli -
Chand pe Chadhne wala Pehla
Aadmi
======================
Height Of Bravery For Girls
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Moving Out Of
House Without
Make- Up
====================
Laila Ne Majnu Ko Ek Ped Ke Pichhe Dekha
Aur Boli.
Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”
Majnu Bola: “Haan”
Phir Kuch Deir Baad Use Jhadiyo Ke Piche
Dekha To Boli.
Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”
Majnu Bola: “Haan, Main Majnu Hoon”
Phir Kuch Deir Baad Use Diwaar Ke Pichhe
Dekha Aur Kaha.
Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”
Majnu Bola: “Haan-Haan, Kamini Main
Majnu Hi Hoon, Tu Mujhe Tatti Karne Degi
Ya Nahi“

Adult English Jokes: Whatsapp Message Sent 11 Sep 2014

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. "Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"

Whatsapp Funny Message: How To Become A Doctor In 30 Days

At indian railway station
an american doctor got heart attack
after reading a book's name.....
How to become a doctor in 30 days?
MRP Rs. 20!!!!

Call Girl On Teacher Job: Non Veg Hindi Jokes

Call-girl Applies 4 a Teachers job...
Principal - "Can U teach Zoology, Biology, Geology, Sychology?"
Call -girl -"No, I Can 0nLy Teach
Choos-Loji, Chat Loji, Daal Loji, Nikaal Loji

Nayi Bani Ek Callgirl Ne Apni Ek Senior Callgirl
Se Puchha...
Junior Call girl : “Ye Pyar, Ishq Aur Mohabbat Kya
Hota Hai..??”
Senior Call -girl Smiled And Said : “Arey Chhod,
Tu In Sab Ke Chakkar Mein Mat Padna, Ye Sab To
Free Mein Thokne Ke Bahaane Hai“

Superb Funny Dirty English Jokes On Married Couple


One morning in December, a happily married couple rises from their night’s rest. The husband
rolls over to his beautiful wife and asks how her night was.
She replies, “It was great! I had the best dream in the world.”
Intrigued, the husband urges her to go on.
“Well, I had a dream that I had the most beautifully decorated Christmas tree ever! It was covered
with cocks: big ones, long ones, hard ones, smooth ones, every kind of dick you could imagine.”
The husband, now gloating a little asks, “Was mine at the top for the shining star?”
“No, yours was at the bottom with the broken, wrinkly, tiny ones. How was your night, honey?”
Now pissed off, he replies, “Well, my dream was even better than yours! I dreamed that we had a
Christmas tree decorated with the most beautiful vaginas ever: tight ones, pink ones, smooth ones,
every kind of vagina.”
“Was mine at the top for your shining star?”
Then the husband replies, “No, yours was holding up the fucking tree!”

Funny Sunny Leone Hindi Jokes: Sunny On Restaurant


Sunny Leone in Restaurant:
Waiter: Aap kya lengi Ma'am?
Sunny Leone : One "Footlong" aur   "Do-Nuts".

Once Someone Question on Sunny Leone
Q - What do politicians and por*nstars have in common?
A - They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

Adult Funny Hindi Jokes: Sex Ki Golia On Hijle


Ek Hijre Ne Maje Maje Mein i-Pill
Tablet Kha Li.
.
.
.
Socho Aur Batao Kya Hua Hoga?
.
.
.
Andar Se Aawaaz Aayi, “ Aapke
System Par Ye Suvidha Uplabdh
Nahi Hai “

Hindi Best Funny Jokes: Father And Husband


A Father asked his daughter :
Who do u Love more ME or UR Husband.?
The best reply given by d daughter:
I don't know really...
but when I see you, I forget him
but when I see him,
I remember you...
Really True

Return Of Gabbar: Hindi Funny Jokes

Imagine if once again Gabbar return. then what happen, here is the funniest hindi jokes made of this dialog.
Gabbar: Yeh hath mujhe de de thakur…
Thakur:
Le Le, mere hath le le
Basanti ke bhi le le…
Jai aur Veeru ke bhi le le…
Ramu kaka ke bhi le le…
Octopus ban ja Kutteee!! :-x
Gabbar: Sorry yaar, tu to Emotional ho gaya

Hindi Jokes On Girlfriend: Some Jokes Don't Tell Your Girlfriend

Latest Most Funny Hindi Jokes based On Girlfriend.

  • Hindi Funny Jokes
Girl:"Mom & Dad ne kaha hai k agar
exams mai fail hui to shadi kar denge..
.
.
Boy: "Tumne kitni tayari ki..??
.
.
.
.
.
GIRL:"bus Reception k dress lena reh gya
hai..

  • Funny Hindi Jokes On Girlfriend
A Girlfriend is not one who says,
.
.
.
"Main teri kismat me nai, tum
mujhe bhul jao"
.
.
.
.
A true Girlfriend is one who says, .
.
.
.
.
. "Tu padhai pe dehaan de,
placement ke
baad ghar se utha lena..

Double Simcard Mobile: Funny New Hindi Jokes

Most Funny Hindi Jokes On Santa Ka Double Simcard Wala Mobile.

Santa ne double simcard wala mobile khareeda to ek nai sim aur khareed lee.

Ghar jaakar Santa ne apne bete se kahaa – “Bete, maine nayaa simcard khareeda hai … apne mobile

mein ye number save kar lo 99xxxxxx.”

Beta – “OK papa, kar liya …...

Santa – “Kis naam se save kiya beta ???/

Beta – “Papa No. 2 ….... !”

Funny Hindi Jokes Inspired By Kapil


Kapil to Sharukh kahan :- Kaisi hai tumhari biwi ?
Sharukh khan :- Swarg ki apsara jaisi aur tumhari biwi ?
Kapil :- Mri toh abhi zinda hai !
==========================◄
Wife :- Mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumne le chalo !
Kapil :- Chalo tyaar ho jayo petro pump chalte hai !
==========================◄
Dadi :- Bittu ! tumne apni purani naukri kyu chod di ?
Bittu:- Dadi ! company ne apni office badal di, aur mujhe bataya nahi kaha par

Whatsapp Hindi X-Rated Adult Funny Jokes Message 02 Sep 2014


chut kitani tight hai???

Girl:Meri Chu*t me ungli dalo.Dusri bhi dalo.

chalo ab pura hath dalo.ab dusra hath bhi dalo or tali bajao.

Boy:nahin bajti.

Girl:Dekha kitani tight hai???


.Shuru kar dabana???

Salim ne suhagrat ko kaha-"janeman, tere kadmo me rakh dunga sara khazana"

Anarkali- "teri maa ke bhosdi me gaya tera khazana, andar dal aur shuru kar dabana...


Boy ask a Girl: Vidai ke time ladkiyon roti kyu hai..??
- Girl: Bhosdi ke agar tujhe pata ho ki ghar se dur le jakar koi teri ga@nd maarega to tu kya nachega.

Hindi Triangular Adult Funny Jokes: Orat Husband And Aashiq


Read Most Funny Adult Hindi Jokes On Orat, husband and Aashiq

1 aurat apne Aashiq se chu*dwa rhi thi...
itne me uska Shohar agya Or Ashiq ko marne Laga..
Orat: Or maro Bharwe ko
apni BV chudti nahi dusron ki BV cho*dne Aajate hen.


itne me Aashiq ko josh Aaya or wo Shohar ko marne Lga..
Orat:
Or zor se maro Dallay ko
Na khud cho*dta he
na ksi or ko cho*dny
deta hey.