Showing posts with label Hindi_Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hindi_Jokes. Show all posts

Husband Wife Hindi Funny Jokes: Some Funny Whatsapp Messages


Husband :- I am feeling so depressed today.
Wife :- Why, Honey "
Husband :- it is just that  sometimes I feel so alone and useless.
Wife :- Oh, you do not have to feel so alone. A lot of people think you are useless...

Wife:- where are you going?
Husband :- to the doctor.
Wife:- why ? Are you sick?
Husband :" No, I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
Wife fir up out of her broker and was putting on her sweater.
Husband :- Where are you going?
Wife :- I'm going to the doctor too.
Husband :- Why?.
Wife :- if you're going to start using that rusty old thing again , I'm going to get a tetanus shot...

three couples are dining together.
The American husband says to his wife'
" Pass me the honey , Honey."
The English husband says to his wife:
" Pass me  the auger , Sugar."
They you name it husband says to his wife:" Pass me the steak , Dumb cow".

Hindi Naughty Non Veg Jokes - Funny Whatsapp Messages Making Idea


Get the most funny Hindi jokes and using this jokes make a funny whatsapp messages to your friend.

Non Veg Jokes On Pados Wale Uncle

Mujhe Aaj Bhi Woh Pados Wale Uncle Yaad Hain Jo Mujh Se Kehte Thy Ke Lollipop Chahiye Toh Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Daal Ke Khud He Nikaal Lo..

Aur Jab Main Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Dalti Toh Kitni Der Tak Lollipop Pakad Kar Khichti Magar Uncle Ne Itni Kas Ke Lollipop Bandha Huwa Hota Tha Ke Uski Cheeni Pighal Ke Mere Haath Main Lag Jaati..

Magar Kabhi Bhi Lollipop Nahin Nikaal Saki..

Veena Malik Ki Kitab"Mera Bachpan Meri Shararatien"LOLLI POP"..!
Funny Whatsapp Messages
Funny Whatsapp Chat

Punjabi Ladka Funny Jokes In Hindi - College Humor

Ek ladka or uska baap dono achchee dost they.
Ek din ladka padne ke liye bombay gaya baap ne kaha ki sara hisab beja karna.

ladke ke first month ka hisab
college education 2000
hostel 3000
food 1500
fucking 4000

Baap ne kaha ki gadhey teri maan bhi padti hai to fucking mat likha ker likha kar hunting ok

next month

college education 2000
hostel 3000
food 1500
hunting 5000

baap ne kaha abe gadhey huting kam kiya kar aur choti ducks mara kar badi badi nahin

next month

college education 2000
hostel 3000
food 1500
hunting 2000

baap ne kaha aur choti maar

next month

college education 2000
hostel 3000
food 1500
hunting 1000

baap ne kaha ki aur choti

college education 2000
hostel 3000
food 1500
hunting 500

baap ne kaha aur choti to 3 months tak jawab nahin aaaya to baap ne kaha maderchod jawab de hisaab de

college education 2000
hostel 3000
food 1500
hunting 200
gun repairing 50000...

Non Veg Jokes Whatsapp Message In Hindi


pani moun mein bher k road pey ker di kulli
wah wah wah
pani moun mein bher k road pey ker di kulli
mooth ker k zip bund ker raha tah phuns gayi lulli....
===========
pathan bivi say: khochi tm bachay ko kya pilati ho?
bivi: doodh aur orange juice
pathan: oye khochi tm ney kabhi bataya nahin k orange juice kis side say aata hai......
===========
saaf sutra lateefa: aik pathan poti kr k apnay hath soong raha tah
aik aadmi ney poocha kya ker rahay ho?
pathan bola k hum bhool gaya tah k hum ney duphair mein kya khaya tah....
===========
Beta: Papa yeh Condom Kia HOta hai?

Papa: Chal Bhaag mujhey nhi Pata.

Beta: Tabhi tu Hum 14 Behan Bhai Hain
===========

PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain

SON : Papa mai bataoo

PAPA :Nahi tum chup rahoo

SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH

PAPA : ohh haan

SON : to kya aap LUN samajh rahay thay.................
===========
Aik bus mein girls ki team aur boys ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.

Girls : Hum tumhe hara ke dikhayenge!

Boys : Hum har gaye, chalo ab dikhao.......hahahahahaha
============
One Sardar Raped a Sikhni ,

She Said " Hunn Main RaulaPaawangi " ,

Sardar Says " Raula Teh Hunn Main paawan ga, Panchood Utton Sikhni tay Theloo clean Shave....

Good Non Veg Hindi Jokes: Yeh Ghalat Hai

Girl: Yeh Ghalat Hai...

Boy: But I Love yu..

Girl: Yeh Ghalat Hai...

Boy:Hum Shaadi Karlenge...

Girl: Yeh Ghalat Hai...

Boy: Nahi....

Girl: Kuttay de Putar, Tm jahan Daal rhe ho, woh Jaga Ghalat hai...!

Non Veg Hindi Jokes: 18+ Only

Ek kothe par raid ho gayi police call girls ko line mai lagane lagi.yeh deakh kar ek budiya ne poocha beti kya baat hai tum line mai kyon khadi ho.call girl-mango bant rahe hai tu b line mai lag ja.budia b khadi ho gayi jab police walo ne usko deakha to hairan ho kar kaha ma ji aap b.budia-beta umar ho gayi to kya choos to sakti ho.

Whatsapp Adult Funny Message: With Hindi X Jokes

Ek choti bachi ne prostitute
se poocha : Aunty aapke paas itna bara
ghar hai paisa hai cars hain, aap ka
business kia hai? prostitute : bus beta ek
mera HOLE SALE ka business hai :p
========

America mein duniya bhar ke scientists ki
conference hui. COnference ka reason tha
ek sawal jo unko bada pareshan kar raha
tha – Aaisikaun si cheez hai jo liquid hoti
hai aur garm karne par solid ho jaati hai.
Duniya bhar ke scientists pareshan, aaisi
kaunsi cheez hai.
Unhone bahut research ki, bahas ki par
aaisi koi cheez pata nahi chal saki jo liquid
ho aur garm karne par solid ho jaati ho.
Unhone paper mein ad diya ke jo bhi is
problem ka solutiond dega usko 1 million
$ diya jaayega.
Strangely unke paas duniya bhar se kisi ne
is sawal ka jawab jaan’ne ka dawa nahi
kiya except one Santa Singh from Bhatinda
who claimed uske paas is sawal ka jawab
tha.
Unko laga ke jo baat hum intelligent log
nahi bata sake, jo duniya bhar mein aur koi
nahi bata saka wo Punjab ka ek sardar kya
bataega.
Phir bhi unhone Santa ko America bulwaya
ke lets see ye kya bataata hai.
Jab unhone Santa ke saamne ye sawal
rakha to wo bola – Aray bada simple hai…
BHSAN ke Pakaude
============
एक फिल्म अभिनेत्री 15 वें माले पर स्थित अपने आवास की बालकनी में रेलिंग पर खड़ी अपने प्रशंसकों का अभिवादन कर रही थी कि अचानक संतुलन खो बैठी और नीचे गिरने लगी। 12 वें माले की रेलिंग पर खड़े हुये एक नौजवान ने उसे अपनी बांहों में पकड़ लिया और पूछा - ''मुझसे शादी करोगी ?''
''कभी नहीं''- अभिनेत्री ने नफरत से जवाब दिया । ''तो जाओ मरो!'' कहकर नौजवान ने उसे छोड़ दिया और वह फिर नीचे गिरने लगी।
11 वें माले पर खड़े एक अधेड़ ने हाथ बढ़ाकर उसे फिर पकड़ लिया और पूछा - ''मेरी प्रेमिका बनोगी ?''
''हर्गिज नहीं!'' उसका इतना कहना था कि इस आदमी ने भी उसे छोड़ दिया। बेचारी अभिनेत्री को अब मौत साक्षात नजर आने लगी। वह ईश्वर से एक और मौका देने की प्रार्थना करने लगी कि तभी आठवें माले पर खड़े एक आदमी ने उसका हाथ पकड़ लिया।
''मैं तुमसे शादी कर लूंगी......! मैं तुम्हारी प्रेमिका बनूंगी.....! रखैल बनूंगी ! सब कुछ करूंगी!'' अभिनेत्री आदमी के कुछ बोलने के पहले ही भयातुर होकर कहने लगी।

''बदचलन औरत..... !'' आदमी ने कहा और हाथ छोड़ दिया।
============
एक सुबह बॉस अपने नियत समय से पहले ही ऑफिस पहुंच गए तो पाया कि मैनेजर उनकी सेक्रेटरी का चुम्बन ले रहा है।
बॉस ने उसे डांटते हुए कहा - क्या मैं तुम्हें यह सब करने की तनख्वाह देता हूं ?
मैनेजर ने जवाब दिया - नहीं सर, यह सब तो मैं फ्री ऑफ चार्ज करता हूं ....
============

15. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Boy:- Ji samaj seva karta hoon.
Man:- Matlab?
Boy:- Ji bichdo ko milata hoon
Gire huye ko uthata hoon.
Man:- Wo kaise?
Boy:- BRA BANATA HOON.

Adult Hindi Jokes Humor: Married Women And Viagra Pills

A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in sex.
Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.
So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.
"Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself. That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.
Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone. Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"
"No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks. "I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"
"That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you -- Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty.' "

18+ Hindi Non Veg Jokes: Funny And Hilarious


Ladki ka baap : Main nahi chahata ki meri ladki apni poori zindagi ek gadhe ke saath guzaare.
Ladki ka Boyfriend : Bus isiliye to main usse shaadi kar ke yahan se le jaana chahata hoon.
============
Rat Bhar Ayi Nhi, Or Hum Hila Hila Kr Yu Hi So Gye,
Jo Hila Rhe The Woh Pankha Tha, Jo Ayi Nhi Wo Bijli Thi,
Abe Salo Kbi To Acha Samja Kro Dirty Mind
============
3 Idiots Sex Education Lab Scene ( read like original dialouge) +16

Teacher: "What Is A Condom?" Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hain Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu Rahe Ho?" Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se Iccha Thi Ki Main Sex Education College Mein Padhu! Aaj Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa Raha Hai" Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat Nahi Hai, Condom Ki Definition Bolo?" Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything Which Reduces Population" Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?" Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population Control Kare!" "Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai, Condom Hai Na" "Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak, Condom Hai Sir" "Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire Hue Hai" "8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh Tak, Sab Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai" "1 Second Mein In, 1 Second Mein Out, In-Out, In-Out" Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya Hai?" Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir" Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab Likhoge?" "Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak! Idiot" "Anybody Else??" Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between Any Combination Of Body So Connected, That Their Relative Positions May Be Seen In Kamasutra.." Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai
===========
Meri pyaas bujha do

Malka sharawat ne chirag regra, us me se jin nika, Jin:kya hukum hai maray aaqa?? Malka:Meri pyaas bujha do, Jin:7up se ya 7?inch se
===========
Sub ka Number aye Ga

Ek Larki ka Gang Rape ho raha tha Woh chillaa chillaa k keh rehi thi Kutto Kamino Khuda k wastay Laro to Nahi Sub ka Number aye Ga

A Super Funny Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Message 30 Sep 2014

A Somalian arrives in Australia as a new immigrant. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says........


'Thank you Mr. Australian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passer by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Afghani!'


The man goes on and encounters another passer by. 'Thank you for having such beautiful country here in Australia!'

The person says, 'I not Australian, I Iraqi!'


The new arrival walks further and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Australia!

'That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Pakistan, I am not from Australia!'


He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an Australian?'

She says, 'No, I am from India!'


Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Australians?'

Whatsapp Hindi Dirty Message On Non Veg Jokes 21 Sep 2014


Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Wife: Sunoji, kaam karte waqt mere ko baho mein mat liya karo,Tabhi kamwali boli: Madam achhi se samjha do, mai to bol-bol ke thak gai.

Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola “Beta tum bahut padhoge” Ladka : Saale padh to mein 3 saal se raha hu, ye bata pass kab hounga !!

Hindi Non Veg Jokes
wife: Itni rat ho gai pr ye abhi tak nai aye jarur ladki ka chakar .Santa ki ma: Hamesha bura hi sochegi.kya pta kisi truck k nche aa gya ho

Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Santa's Wife to Santa,Suno ji es condom ko 15vi baar use ker rahe ho ab to iska picha chado.Santa.Oye!! Par iski expiry date toh 2015 ki hai

Hindi Jokes Gossip And Fun Adda Whatsapp Message


Read The most funniest hindi jokes and latest fun topix on here.


GIRLS_: WE hate cigarette!
So WE dont touch it!!
BOYS_: WE too hate cigarettes!
So WE BURN IT!!
...
ATTITUDE MATTERS..
===============
Kabhi khamoshi bhi bahut kuch keh jati hai,
tadapne k liye bas yaaden hi reh jati hain,
kya farq padta hai wills ho ya goldflake ...yaaro
jalne k baad raakh hi ban jati hai

Bohat The Mere Bhi Iss Duniya Main Apne..
Phir Ishq Hua Aur Hum Lawaris Ho gaye...!!
===============
Our man was touching an aunty in crowded bus..

aunty turns and says: "bhaisahab aap accha nhi kar rahe"

Susu replies: "itni bheed me iss se accha nahi ho payega aunty"
===============
Gabbar - Are O Sambha kitne aadmi the.....??
.
.
.
Sambha - Pata nahi sarkar mai to Ladkiya dekh raha tha
===============
Universal Law Of Love:
Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money.

Hindi Funny Jokes On Sharabi 24 Aug 2014


Ek sharabi sky ki taraf ishara kar ke dusre sharabi se bola:- Ye suraj hai ya chaand.
Dusra sharabi: -Pata nahi bhai, main bhi is shehar me naya hun.

Funny Days name

Non Veg Humor Jokes In Hindi: Adult Edition

Quick and super dirty hindi jokes, increase your humor sense by sharing those jokes.
First jokes on pappu
Ek Baar Pappu Bahut Jorr-Jorr Se Ro Raha Tha.
Maa: “Alle Mera Beta Kyu Ro Raha Hai?”
Pa:“Dad Ne Mujhe Kissi Nahi Di”
Maa:“Tumne Unko Table Nahi Sunaya Hoga”
Pa:“Baazu Wali Aunty Ko Kounse Tables Aate Hain?“
============================
Dirty English Jokes: Hindi Non Veg Jokes
Difference Between Hook Of Bra And Hook In Cricket?
Q. What Is The Difference Between Hook Of Bra And Hook In Cricket?
A. One Keeps Balls Within The Boundary And Other Sends Ball Out Of Boundary.
===========================
Dono Gehraai Tak Jaye
What Is Common Between Moov Cream And Penis?
Ans: "Dono Gehraai Tak Jaye, Garmahat Laye, Aram Dilaye Aaah Se A-Haaa Tak"
============================
Funny jokes about women - Eating
75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
============================
"Why is Facebook such a hit?
= It works on d principle dat
"People r more interested in others lyf den their own! =)
"A Real Fact" (:

Hindi Funny Jokes On Pathan


Ek pathan apne kandhe pe bandar baitha ke ja raha tha.
Paas ek bande ne puchha ye kaun sa janwar ha?
Bandar bola PATHAN.

Santa Banta Whatsapp Hindi Jokes Message 23 Aug 2014


Santa: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Banta: Suicide karne ke liye
Santa: To phir ubalne ki kya zaroorat hai?
Banta: Kahin infection na ho jaaye.

Sardar Ji Stupid Hindi Jokes: Jab 8 Baje Tak Sota Hoon


Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha ha ha!
Police: Kyu hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Main toh subah 8 baje tak sota hoon!

Funny Hindi Jokes: Self Control Raho


Kal raat ko party mei mene 1 ladki ki izzat ko bacchaya ;)
Other Boy:
Waah Bhai .!!! Par kaise ??
1st Boy :
Self Control Bhai .. SELF CONTROL :D

Most Funny Hindi Whatsapp Message Jokes 21 Aug 2014


The most wonderful news in school life
.
.
Teacher Is Absent
================
Bikini is d Only Dress, in which A Girl's 90% Body is Exposed.
Lekin Fir bhi Nazar Sali Sirf 10% Covered Jagah par hi jaati hai.
Kitne sharif hote hai mard.....
================
We All Spend 10000's Of Rupees To Buy A Dress For The Marriage
But The Fact Is That On The First Night
We Cant Even Wear A 20 Rupees Underwear..
================
A Girl about to make Tea..
Opened fridge.. But couldn't find milk,
So She Removed her dress;
.
Changed her Clothes,
Went Out & Brought Milk from Shop.
Aur Aap Ki Soch Ko 21 Topon ki Salami..
================
Teacher : Hame in machron ko paida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher : Kyon?
Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.

Extra Funny Hindi Jokes: Larka Bike Se Larki K Samny


Larka Bike Se Larki K Samny Zor Se Gira or
Sharmindagi Se Foran Khara Ho Gya
Larki: Oh My God. Apko Lagi To Nahi??
Larka: Nahi .. Main Bike Se Aisy Hi Utarta Hn .