Boy Girl Funny Whatsapp Chat Jokes Messages 30 Jan 2015

Girl : Cigarette peena chodddo
Boy : Chodd diya
.
.
.
Girl : Beer peena bi chodd do
Boy : Chodd diya
.
.
.
Girl : Good Aaj se roz subah shaam
Mandir jana shuru karo
Boy : Theek hai Aaj se roz Mandir jana
shuru
.
.
.
Girl : Haayee Jaanu So Sweet, Mujse
shaadi karoge?
Boy : Nahin.
.
.
.
Girl : Kyun??
.
.
.
Boy : Itna sudhar gaya hu, Ab tumse
achi koi mil jayegi
hahahha boys thoko Like!

Boyfriend Girlfriend Funny Jokes Whatsapp Messages 30 Jan 2015

A boyfriend texts his girlfriend saying, "Hey babe, you wanna come over and have sex?"
The girlfriend texts back "Duh!"
So the girl goes over to her boyfriend's house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Okay, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan, you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich."
So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling, "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!"
Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells, "Hey, can you guys knock it off, you're getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"

World Most Profound Jokes - Funny Whatsapp Messages Idea


The most funny whatsapp messages idea. Get the latest funny staff from whatsapp.


Funny Jokes On Dumbest Kid

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
dumbest kid on barber shop

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied,

“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”


English Dirty Jokes Whatsapp Messages on Nurse

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?

Non Veg Whatsapp Jokes: Phoolwala

Phoolwala:"Saha b apni gf ke liye
phool
le lo..
.
Boy:"Meri gf nahi hai..
.
Phoolwala:"To mangetar ke liye le
lo..
.
Boy:"Meri mangetar nahi hai..
.
Phoolwala:"To biwi ke liye hi le lo..
.
Boy:" Meri biwi bhi nahi hai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Phoolwala:"Aye duniya ke khush
kismat insaan meri taraf se ye
phool
free me le le..

Hindi Pagal Jokes For Whatsapp Send Messages

Ek bar ek pagal ko jail mein band kar diya gaya . .
Pagal to Jailer : mujhe ek kitaab likhni hai kagaz aur pen do mujhko
Jailer : abe tu kitab likh ke kya karega ?
Pagal : publish kara ke famous banunga
Jailer : Hawaldar iss pagal ko ek copy aur kalam do aake
Pagal kitab likhna suru karta hai . . Pahle page pe likhta hai "ghoda jungle ki taraf chal diya"
aur last page pe likhta hai "ghoda jungle pahunch gaya"
Pagal : jailer saab ye lijiye padhiye ye kitab maine likhi hai maine. . Lekin sirf 1st aur last page padhiyega. .
Jailer : padhta hai use gussa ata hai kahta hai kya bakwas hai ye bich mein kya likha hai . . :/
Pagal : tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik

New Superb Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes Found On Whatsapp Messages


Read only latest most funny Hindi non veg jokes, and messages it to your whatsapp friend.


Dildo Jokes.
He: Happy Birthday baby heart emoticon
She: Thankyou smile emoticon
He: So gift kya chahiye?
She: Dildo.
He: Dildo kyu? Mei hu na wink emoticon
She: Apna 'dil do' aisa bola

Boy Girl Non Veg Jokes: Kids Love Story


Read latest Hindi funny jokes, non veg jokes, whatsapp funny messages idea, and messages for whatsapp friend.

kids love story.
Girl:.....aaj mela mood off hai.
Boy:..kyu??
Girl:mamma ne daanta....
Boy:..kyu???
Girl: mai mamma k saath taam ni kalti na..
Boy:..ale toh taam klo na....
Girl:mujhe aata hi nhi...
Boy:..to seekh lo na...
Girl:kaiche seekhuuuu
Boy:mai sikha dungaaa Girl: sachiiii muchiii
Boy: haan....
Girl: to sikhaoooo
Boy:mele ghal chalo fir..
Girl:ghal pe kyu..
Boy:aleeee bahan mamma se bolonga, vo tumko
chab sikha
dengii.
Girl:tum toh keh le the k tum
sikhaogeee
Boy:ale mai sikhao ya mamma
ek baat hai naaa.... Girl: fill to mai apni mamma se
sikh longiiii
Boy:je bhi thik hai...
Girl:huhhhh fil ichme tumne kya
kiya...
Boy: ale mai toh bols la hun mom k paas chaloo
Girl:mele ko ni jaana
Boy:ek din toh jaana palegaa
Girl:kyu jaana plega???bolo
Boy:mele se shaadi kl k aaongi
na mele ghal pe... Girl:mai kyu aaongi..tum aa
jaana
Boy:ale shaadi k baad girls jaati
hai..
Girl:tumko kaiche pta...
Boy:mele ko pta hai... Girl:kichne btaya???
Boy: mamma ne..
Girl:oteeeeee fil toh aa
jaongi..letin abhi nhi.
Boy:athaa babaaa abhi nhi letin
aaogi naa??? Girl:ha aaongi...
Boy:plomiss
Girl:pkka plomisssssss
Boy:ote lub u..
Girl: lub u 2.........
. .
Share this jokes with your whatsapp friend

Funny Latest Jokes: A Lady On Phone

A Lady on telephone:
Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you..
Man: do u know me..
Lady: Yes you are the father of one of my kids.
Man stunned,
Oh my God!
Are u Sangeeta????
No
Are U Dhanashree ???
No
Are u Nisha?
No
Disha?
No
Maitri?
No
Anusha?
No
Mitali?
No
Vaishali?
No
Lady in confusion...
No sir i'm the class teacher of your son.. . 😛
Rocking question shocking answer

Very Funny Hindi Whatsapp Messages For Friend


Sent this most funny messages idea for whatsapp friend.

The pain of missing friends
is realized when
.
.
.
.
U r standing some where nd see
a
group of friends having fun.......
U smile nd say to urself-
.
'HUM TO ISSE BHI JYADA
KAMINEY THE'.
dedicate to ol my frds

Funny Indian Jokes: God Gift To India

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates...

"Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deers there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension...

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes...

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?" God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold...

The angel was quite surprised "But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied - "Look at the neighbours, I gave them."

A Superb Naughty Whatsapp Text Messages Idea For Your Friend

Read the most naughty and funny whatsapp text messages idea for only your friend.


1 Ladka Pepsi Samne Rakh Ke Udas Baita
Tha .
Dost aaya Pepsi Pee liya aur pucha Yaar
tu Udaas Q Hai......??
.
Dost bola Yaar Aaj ka Din hi Bura hai.
.
Subah GF Se Jhagda Ho gaya
.
.
Raste Me Car Kharab Ho gayi. 0ffice Late Pahuncha To Boss ne Naukri
Se Nikal Diya. .
Ab Suicide K Liye Pepsi Me ZAHER Milaya
Wo Bhi tu Pee Gya...

Boy, Girl Funny Whatsapp Chat Messages Jokes 18 Jan 2015

Girl saw her boyfriend with another girl holding
hands...
Girl messages him !
..
Girl : Where r u?
..
Boy : I m at home !
..
Girl : Oh Ok well I saw your twin, same like you with someone else.
Hahaha! And he is behind me.
..
Boy looked at her and felt ashamed then
he message her!
..
Boy : Its me, I'm so sorry, I swear I would
never do that again! Your trust made me feel proud to have you in my life. I'll be
yours only!
..
Girl : That's ok but I am stupid to love you
again but not an idiot enough to trust you
again!
..
Boy : Well I will try my best to win your trust again.
..
Boy left the other girl.
.
.
A relationship all depends on trust,
if
someone trusts you blindly never ever
prove them blind. ...

Short Typing Problem On Whatsapp: Funny Hindi Jokes 18 Jan 2015

Problems due to whatsapp short typing.
She asked me: "Main kaunsi university main admission lu?"
I said: "MU main le le"
(Mumbai University)
She doesn't talk to me anymore. frown emoticon :|
Blocked

Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes Whatsapp Messages 17 Jan 2015


See some funny non veg hindi jokes and whastapp funny chat messages.


There are 3 type of people in this world:
1. non -vegetarian
2.  vegetarian
3. Tuesday/Saturday/ waale
non-veg-hindi-jokes
Non Veg Jokes In Hindi

Latest whatsapp chat jokes in between boy and girl

Boy :- mujhse dosti karogi , fir
pyar aur baad me shadi bhi
karenge .. :') kiki emoticon kiss emoticon
.
.
.
.
.
Girl:- Mere pass bf hai unsure emoticon
.
.
Boy:- are PAGLI tu to mere TYP ki
nikali
MERE Pass bhi hai HD me puri
memory full hai

Funny Jokes Whatsapp Text Messages For Your Girlfriend

A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend,
'I wish I had bigger tits'.
The boyfriend says 'well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months'. 'How will that help to make my tits bigger?' asks the girlfriend.
'Well it worked for your ass' says the boyfriend.


Naughty Jokes: WhatsApp Funny Text Messages For Friend


Camp Fire One Night Funny Whatsapp Messages

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

Latest Non Veg Jokes In Hindi 15 Jan 2015


Watching PK.....
Dancing car scene comes.

Me: Kitna fenkte hain, car itni thodi na hilti hai.
Wife: tumhe kaise pata?

*awkward silence*
======
gf: "Teri ZIP khul nahi rahi yaar"
bf: "Thoda aur tr y kar"
gf: "Kar to rahi hoon. Nahi khul rahi"

bf: "Accha ruk. PDF bhejta hoon"
======
Teacher:  bahot tez baarish ho rahi hai,
 iske aage ka sentence batao.. ...?    

Student: ab light wale apni maiya chudwaenge

New Updated Hindi Whatsapp Jokes Messages 14 Jan 2015


Funny whatsapp messages idea, sent it to your friend whstapp.
Earlier people used to remove their hats to give respect
And…
Our new generation…
.
.
Removes head phones to give respect..!!!

====

INDIA is a place where..
Anyone driving faster than you is.. "Saala yeh Pakka marega"
Anyone driving slower than you is "Saala Pagal, Gaadi Chalani nai aati ise" !! And
Anyone Driving Parallel to you is "Apne Baap se Race Lagayega Tu.."

====

Different types of call duration summaries:
----------------
boy to boy !
00:00:59
boy to mom !!
00:00:50
boy to dad !
00:00:30
boy to girl !
01:23:59
girl to girl !
05:29:59
girl to boy !
miss call
husband to wife!
00:00:03
wife to husband
call waiting

Indian Funny Whatsapp Messages Jokes 13 Jan 2014


INDIA is a place where..
Anyone driving faster than you is.. "Saala yeh Pakka marega"
Anyone driving slower than you is "Saala Pagal, Gaadi Chalani nai aati ise" !! And
Anyone Driving Parallel to you is "Apne Baap se Race Lagayega Tu.."

Funny English Jokes On The Italian Man 12 Jan 2015


The most Funny Jokes In English On The Italian Man

U Speaka Da English?
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Real More

Just Read The Awesome English Adult Jokes Whatsapp Messages 11 Jan 2014


A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man. She then heard her husband coming… she told her lover to stay like a robot and not to move.
Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have sex with when you are travelling…
Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I got my period, so I will go and make a cup of coffee for you…
After she left the husband said: Damn I am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he tried f*cking. The man started talking in a metallic robotic way…
“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE… SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”
Husband: Damn robot is not working properly…I am throwing it out of the window…The man realized that he was on the 20th floor and said…
“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY AGAIN…”

Favorite Position Adult English Jokes Whatsapp Messages 10 Dec 2014


Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favorite position is the “rodeo”. The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how to do it? The first cowboy says, “You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she’s really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear : “Your sister likes this position too.”
Then try to hang on for 8 seconds.

Best Student Teacher Jokes Ever: Whatsapp Latest Jokes Messages


TEACHER: Why didn't you study?
STUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study.
After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313
days left. There are 50 days in the summer that
is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days
left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that
counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141
days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day,
15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.
We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are
used in this way in the year, and we are left with
96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a
day speaking to friends and family, that takes
away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.
Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your
year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking
off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are
only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a
minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3 days in the
year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2
days...You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is
your birthday. That's why I did not study.
Teacher: Class dismissed.

Funny Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages: What Asked My Girl Today!


Once a Girl asked a Boy,
"Why we have units to measure
Weight,
Height,
Length,
Money,etc.
But nothing to measure
Love,
Trust,
Friendship.
Why?
Why?
Why?
The Boy thought for a while,
took her in his arms,
looking in her deep eyes and said
"Dekh lavdi
already mujhe 3 subject me K.T. hai,
ghar pe gaand lagi padi hai
ab Tu aur dimaag ka bhosda mat kar..
aur itna he maapne ka man kar raha hai toh lavda maap mera.

The Chinese Girl - Naughty Whatsapp Jokes Messages 07 Dec 2014

I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She replied, "Se*x! Se*x! Se*x! Free se*x tonight!"
I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 6663629."

Don't Play With Student: Latest Laughing Hindi Jokes


10. Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"

Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!

Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
& keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!

After eating, Ant will Search for
some Water near a Water tank.Push ant in to it.. =!!

Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,

When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!

Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O

And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!

=|

MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 15 Marks..
=D =P
funny latest hindi jokes photo

Non Veg Jokes On Santa 06 Dec 2014


Autowala: Saab! 30 Rs Hue
Santa: Le 15 Rs
AutowaLa: Saab Ye To Beimani Hai
Santa: Beimani Kaisi.....?? Tu Bhi To
Baith Ke Aaya Hai; Aadha Tu De.
gahe tera kiraya b m dun. :O
=D
Santa Rock -.... autowala shock..

Star Rated Hindi Funny Jokes On Veg Whatsapp


Wife: Tell me hw mch did Sachin score in 2003 World Cup?
Husband: 98, why?
Wife: Now tell me y u didnt wish me fr my bday yday?

Silence...
======
BOLDEST PROPOSAL:
Ladka Ladki ke Baap Se:
"Mai Aapki Beti ka Haath Mangne Aaya Hu.
Baap: "Kyu ??
Ladka: "Kyunki ab Mera Haath thak Chuka Hai
======
Wife: Tell me those 3 magical words
.
....
......
........
..........

Husband~ galti meri thi.
======
Investment Banker was Getng Married.

During Wedding,Wife Vomits

Husband~Wat Hapend?

Wife~Capital Gains Arising Out Of Previous Investment
=======
Bachpan me hum waha sona pasand
krte the jaha se chand tare dikhe

Aur aaj waha sona pasand krte hai jaha

Mobile phone ka charger laga sake
========
Ladki se "YES" to koi bhi bulwa sakta hai.

"OH YES OH YES OH YES" bulwana har kisi ke bass ki baat nahi

Hindi Long Story Jokes: Ek Minister Ki Adult Biwi


Read the most funny Hindi non veg jokes, adult hindi jokes, whatsapp messages for friend and fadu jokes.


Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.
Ek Din Minister Ka Najane Kya Mood Bana,
Usne Patni Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.

Minister:- “Sach Sach Batao Tumne
Hamare Sath Kitni Baar Bewafayi Ki Hai?”

Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: “Ji Sirf 3 Baar, Woh b Aapki Khaatir "

Minister hairan hua, par Man Hi Man Mein Khush b Hua
... Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki,

Fir Bhi Usne Pucha
Minister: “Kab Kab”

Patni: “Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka
Operation Hua Tha To Main Shehar Ke
Sabse Bade Dr. Ko Manane Gayi Thhi”

Minister: “Hmm”

Patni: “Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein Band The,
Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The
To Judge Ke Pass Gayi thi”

Minister: “Aur Teesri Bar ?”

Patni Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aapko Sarkar
Banani Thi Aur Aapke Pas 76 MLAs Kam they

Husband Wife Hindi Funny Jokes: Some Funny Whatsapp Messages


Husband :- I am feeling so depressed today.
Wife :- Why, Honey "
Husband :- it is just that  sometimes I feel so alone and useless.
Wife :- Oh, you do not have to feel so alone. A lot of people think you are useless...

Wife:- where are you going?
Husband :- to the doctor.
Wife:- why ? Are you sick?
Husband :" No, I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
Wife fir up out of her broker and was putting on her sweater.
Husband :- Where are you going?
Wife :- I'm going to the doctor too.
Husband :- Why?.
Wife :- if you're going to start using that rusty old thing again , I'm going to get a tetanus shot...

three couples are dining together.
The American husband says to his wife'
" Pass me the honey , Honey."
The English husband says to his wife:
" Pass me  the auger , Sugar."
They you name it husband says to his wife:" Pass me the steak , Dumb cow".

Boy Girl Funny Whatsapp Chat Messages In Hindi 03 Dec 2015


Read the latest funny chat jokes on boys and girls whatsapp chatting.


Girl : Tum Haste nahi ho kya ?
Boy : Kyu ?
Girl : Tumhare Haste huye Pic nahi Dekhe ?
Boy : Tum Nahati Nahi Kya ?

Chatting On Whatsapp Adult Non Veg Jokes In Hindi 02 Dec 2015


A lady walking on road,
Chatting on whatsapp,
with her left boob open

Policeman - ye kya hai?
Lady - Oh fuck,
Munna to bus me hi reh gya.!!