WhatsApp Funny Hindi Jokes And Picture Messages

A newly married man was standing in front of a mirror naked and was admiring his physique.
'2 inches more & I will be a king.'
Suddenly the wife comes in and says,'2 inches less and you will be a queen!'
Old Jokes is awesome

Funny Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages: What Asked My Girl Today!

Once a Girl asked a Boy,
"Why we have units to measure
Weight,
Height,
Length,
Money,etc.
But nothing to measure
Love,
Trust,
Friendship.
Why?
Why?
Why?
The Boy thought for a while,
took her in his arms,
looking in her deep eyes and said
"Dekh lavdi
already mujhe 3 subject me K.T. hai,
ghar pe gaand lagi padi hai
ab Tu aur dimaag ka bhosda mat kar..
aur itna he maapne ka man kar raha hai toh lavda maap mera.

Ghar Par Akeli Non Veg Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages

Ek Aurat Ghar Par Akeli Thi Tabhi Darwaje Par Dastak Hui.
Usne Darwaja Khola To Ek Admi Khada Tha, Darwaja Kholte Hi Bola
Aadmi: “Tumhare Paas Choot Hai Kya”
Aurat Gabra Kar Dawaja Band Kar Deti Hai.
Agle Do Din Bhi Yahi Kram Chla To Aurat Ne Akhir Tang Aakar Ye Baat Apne Pati Ko Batai.
Pati Bola: “Chinta Mat Karo Aaj Jab Wo Aayega To Main Ghar Par Hi Hounga Aur Darwaje Ke Piche Khada Rahunga. Tum Use Bole Dena Ki Tumhare Paas Choot Hai”
Shaam Ko Jaisi Hi Wo Admi Aaya To Pati Darwaje Ke Pichhe Chhip Gaya.
Patni Ne Darwwaja Khola To Admi Bola: ” Tumare Paas Choot Hai Kya?”
Aurat Boli: “Haan, Mere Paas Choot Hai”
Aadmi Hath Jod Kar Bola: “Hai To Apne Pati Ko Kyun Nahi Deti ?, Woh Sala Meri Biwi Ki Choot Ke Pichhe Kyo Pada Hua Hai?“

A most funny whatsapp picture messages for sent to your girlfriend

Absolutely Worst Whatsapp Dirty Joke You Ever Heard

Here are some jokes are really so much dirty but with lol funny.

Whatsapp Very Dirty Jokes Number: 01

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."

Funny Jokes For Whatsapp: The Best Dirty Jokes Ever:02

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup. 

Superb Dirty Whatsapp Jokes: 03

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard." 

Whatsapp Message Jokes: A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job

The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?

He says 'Yes - just caffeine.'

'Have you ever been in the service?'

'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward
employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?'

The guy says, 'Yes...an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right
now.

Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 -
and plan on starting at 10 AM, every day.'

The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, why
don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?

'This is a government job,' the interviewer says, 'For the first two
hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No
point in you coming in for that.'

Whatsapp Jokes Message: The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Sarkozy asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Sarkozy sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well mate," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners