Non Veg Hindi X Rated Jokes For Girlfriend

Girl friend Boy friend Romance Kar Rahe The.
Romance Karte Hue Ladki Ko Hichki Aayi,
Ladka Bola Kya Hua Jaanu Maine Zor Se Dala Kya?
Ladki Boli Nahi Re Ch*tiye,
Tu Jaldi Kar Aur Log Bhi Yaad Kar Rahe Hai.
==========
Ek chor amir lok ke ghar mein chori karne gaya.
Taale pe likha tha "Taale ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai,
156 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao,
Taala khul jayega. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi."
Jate jate chor ne bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!
==========
Babu market jata hai underwear kharidne
Babu: Yeh kitne ka hai?
Dokandar: Rs 600.
Kanjoos Babu: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

Non Veg Hindi Short Jokes on XXX Rated

Aeroplane ne rocket se poocha: Yaar tu itna fast kasise ud sakta hai? Rocket ne kaha: Who toh jiske g#nd mein, aag lagi hoti hai usi ko pata chalta hai.

A Chinese man files for divorce Judge: What's the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income

Teacher-jab mai padhati hu, to tum sir me tel Q laga lete ho, Student-kal rat mummy papa se keh rahi thi, agar andar nahi jaraha hoto tel laga lo.

Boss & Secretary went 2 a hotel. On the bed Boss asked,"Do U want me 2 treat U as a secretary or as a wife?" She said, "as a wife" Boss: "OK then, Good night

Dirty Hindi Jokes: Sex 24x7

New Couple Kept having sex 24x7.They Became
weak but didn't Stop.
They Consulted a Doctor.
Doc Said: Have Sex only on those days which hav
'R' in it.
ie,ThuRsday,fRiday or SatuRday.
Couple Agreed
On Monday Husband Asks his Wife Darling Wats
the Day Today?
Wife gives a Naughty smile & says
"somvaaR"
MORAL : Horny ko koun taal sakta hai!!!

Funniest Whatsapp Message: Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub


An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George’s Day,” commented the English man. “So we obviously decided to call him George” “That’s a real coincidence,” remarked the Scot. “My son was born on St Andrew’s Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew.”
"That’s incredible, what a coincidence, "said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."

Whatsapp Funny Jokes Series: Adams Rib

Adams Rib The funny English jokes whatsapp message
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?”
Adam said, “Lord, I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
God said, “Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give ‘love’ and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behavior or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…”
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God said, “An arm and a leg…”
Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”

Old Superb Funny English Jokes 28 Oct 2014

IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you - you’ve broken your finger!”

THE DOCTOR

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’

New Funny Jokes Whatsapp Message: The perfect son

The Perfect Son funny jokes in English
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Funny English Adult Jokes: Stupid Man In The Earth

The Most Stupid Man On Earth
There was a flood in a village.
One man said to everyone, “I’ll stay! God will save me!”
The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said “Come on mate, get in!”
"No" replied the man. God will save me!
The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.”
No, God will save me!” he said
Eventually he died by drowning.
He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God “Why didn’t you save me?”
God replied, “For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!”

Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes Whatsapp Message ~ Varieties Of Wife

Read the latest funny Hindi jokes on Varieties Of Wife-

Aalsi Wife: Aaj Kapdey Utaarney Ka Mood Nahi, Aise Hi Karlo
Gussey Wali Biwi: Don't Cum In My Mouth Nahi Toh Kaat Lungi.
Chhedne Wali Wife: Jab Mai College Me Thi Toh Mera Bf 4-5 Baar Kar Leta Tha
Confused Wife: Do Me From Behind... No No It Will Pain Aage Se Hi Kartey Hain.
Selfish Wife: Mera Ho Gaya, Main So Rahi Hun.
Shakki Wife: Aaj Theek Se Nahi Kar Rahey Kahin Baahar Kar Ke Aaye Ho? .
Bhukhi Wife: Wapas Kitni Daer Me Taiyaar Ho Jaoge? Doggy Style Me Karenge..

Adult English Funny Jokes Whatsapp Message 24 Oct 2014

Two old ladies were on holiday in Greece and had landed up
at one of the local museums. As they wandered around they
came across a magnificent 12 foot statue of a greek god,
naked apart from a fig leaf. One of the old ladies stood
transfixed.
“Come on, Mabel,” said the other. “What are you waiting for,
Christmas?”
“No, just autumn,” she replied.

Non Veg Hindi Jokes: 18+ Only

Ek kothe par raid ho gayi police call girls ko line mai lagane lagi.yeh deakh kar ek budiya ne poocha beti kya baat hai tum line mai kyon khadi ho.call girl-mango bant rahe hai tu b line mai lag ja.budia b khadi ho gayi jab police walo ne usko deakha to hairan ho kar kaha ma ji aap b.budia-beta umar ho gayi to kya choos to sakti ho.

The Adult Jokes in Hindi ~ Taxi Driver

Ek Taxi Driver Ne Teen Logo Ko Taxi Mein Bithaya Jisme 1 Ladka, 1 Ladki Aur 1 Hizda Tha.
Pahle Ladki Utari, Kiraya Dete Samay Driver Ne Ladki Ko 2 Rupaye Vapis Kar Diye

Ladki: “Mujhse 2 Rupaye Kam Kyun Liye?”
Driver: “Teri Gori Pyari Chut (Vagina), Uspe 2 Rupaye Ki Choot (Discount).”
Driver Ne Ladke Se 2 Rupaye Jyada Liye.
Ladka: “Oye, Mujhse 2 Rupaye Jyada Kyon Le Raha Hai?”
Driver: “Tera Kala Mota Lund, Uspar 2 Rupaye Ka Dand (Fine).”
Ab Hizda Ye Sab Sunkar Bina Paisi Diye Hi Bhagne Laga.
Driver: “Ruk Bhonshdi Ke Kiraya To Deta Ja.”
Hizda: “Na Mere Pas Chut Hai Na Hai Lund, Isliye Main Hun Free Fund.

Whatsapp sms Jokes: The Worst Funny Short Jokes Ever!


Short jokes on two lovers on movie…
Two lovers went to watch a movie..
A mosquito entered in the girl’s skirt,,,
Guess where it bit???
You Naughty mind,,, always think dirty..
It bit on…
The boy’s Hand.!!!!

Cheap attitude of girls.
When a boy sends dirty sms.
She laughs for 10 minutes.
Forward that sms to her friends.
Then replies the boy
“I dont like these kind of sms ok”

Non Veg Hindi Jokes: Not for Child


Nipple color light light,
Mine Lund Tight"
Why dis Chodaveri Chodaveri di..
"Hand la Bra,
Bra da Boobs,
Boobs full of milk.
Wetty choot,
Lund cum,
Sex like silk.
Boobb Boobb
Sexy Boobs,i want2 suck now..
Choot Choot
Wetty Choot,i want fuck now"
"Guys m fucking now,she'sscreaming.....read full at.

Adult English Jokes: Viagra tablet

A man goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The dentist gets the syringe ready to administer the
anesthetic.
“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient says.
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.
“I can’t do the gas thing—the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”
The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.
“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”
The dentist then returns and says, “Here is a Viagra tablet.”
The patient says, “Wow—I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain pill!”
“It doesn’t,” says the dentist, “but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your
tooth.”

Oct Adult Hindi Whatsapp Jokes Message 18 Oct 2014

Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team Antakshari
Khelne K Liye bani,
.
.
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar hi dikhayenge,
.
.
.
.
.
Pichhe betha GULLU BOLA :- Hum Haar Gye, Chalo
Ab Dikhao
.
Jo samaj gya Thoko Share.

Whatsapp Funny Jokes - Girls will be girls


Girls will be girls!!!
Girlfriend giving house directions 2 her Boyfriend:-
Girlfriend: Come to the front gate of my apartment where you drop me, look for flat 9A, you'll find a lift on ur right, hit 9 with ur ELBOW... get out of the lift, u'll find my flat on left... hit the doorbell wid ur ELBOW & I'll get to the door 4u.
Boyfriend: Dear that seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows?
Girlfiend: "OMG! Are you coming empty handed ???" 
Boyfriend: :s (speechless)

Whatsapp Adult Funny Message: With Hindi X Jokes

Ek choti bachi ne prostitute
se poocha : Aunty aapke paas itna bara
ghar hai paisa hai cars hain, aap ka
business kia hai? prostitute : bus beta ek
mera HOLE SALE ka business hai :p
========

America mein duniya bhar ke scientists ki
conference hui. COnference ka reason tha
ek sawal jo unko bada pareshan kar raha
tha – Aaisikaun si cheez hai jo liquid hoti
hai aur garm karne par solid ho jaati hai.
Duniya bhar ke scientists pareshan, aaisi
kaunsi cheez hai.
Unhone bahut research ki, bahas ki par
aaisi koi cheez pata nahi chal saki jo liquid
ho aur garm karne par solid ho jaati ho.
Unhone paper mein ad diya ke jo bhi is
problem ka solutiond dega usko 1 million
$ diya jaayega.
Strangely unke paas duniya bhar se kisi ne
is sawal ka jawab jaan’ne ka dawa nahi
kiya except one Santa Singh from Bhatinda
who claimed uske paas is sawal ka jawab
tha.
Unko laga ke jo baat hum intelligent log
nahi bata sake, jo duniya bhar mein aur koi
nahi bata saka wo Punjab ka ek sardar kya
bataega.
Phir bhi unhone Santa ko America bulwaya
ke lets see ye kya bataata hai.
Jab unhone Santa ke saamne ye sawal
rakha to wo bola – Aray bada simple hai…
BHSAN ke Pakaude
============
एक फिल्म अभिनेत्री 15 वें माले पर स्थित अपने आवास की बालकनी में रेलिंग पर खड़ी अपने प्रशंसकों का अभिवादन कर रही थी कि अचानक संतुलन खो बैठी और नीचे गिरने लगी। 12 वें माले की रेलिंग पर खड़े हुये एक नौजवान ने उसे अपनी बांहों में पकड़ लिया और पूछा - ''मुझसे शादी करोगी ?''
''कभी नहीं''- अभिनेत्री ने नफरत से जवाब दिया । ''तो जाओ मरो!'' कहकर नौजवान ने उसे छोड़ दिया और वह फिर नीचे गिरने लगी।
11 वें माले पर खड़े एक अधेड़ ने हाथ बढ़ाकर उसे फिर पकड़ लिया और पूछा - ''मेरी प्रेमिका बनोगी ?''
''हर्गिज नहीं!'' उसका इतना कहना था कि इस आदमी ने भी उसे छोड़ दिया। बेचारी अभिनेत्री को अब मौत साक्षात नजर आने लगी। वह ईश्वर से एक और मौका देने की प्रार्थना करने लगी कि तभी आठवें माले पर खड़े एक आदमी ने उसका हाथ पकड़ लिया।
''मैं तुमसे शादी कर लूंगी......! मैं तुम्हारी प्रेमिका बनूंगी.....! रखैल बनूंगी ! सब कुछ करूंगी!'' अभिनेत्री आदमी के कुछ बोलने के पहले ही भयातुर होकर कहने लगी।

''बदचलन औरत..... !'' आदमी ने कहा और हाथ छोड़ दिया।
============
एक सुबह बॉस अपने नियत समय से पहले ही ऑफिस पहुंच गए तो पाया कि मैनेजर उनकी सेक्रेटरी का चुम्बन ले रहा है।
बॉस ने उसे डांटते हुए कहा - क्या मैं तुम्हें यह सब करने की तनख्वाह देता हूं ?
मैनेजर ने जवाब दिया - नहीं सर, यह सब तो मैं फ्री ऑफ चार्ज करता हूं ....
============

15. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Boy:- Ji samaj seva karta hoon.
Man:- Matlab?
Boy:- Ji bichdo ko milata hoon
Gire huye ko uthata hoon.
Man:- Wo kaise?
Boy:- BRA BANATA HOON.

Adult Hindi Jokes Humor: Married Women And Viagra Pills

A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in sex.
Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.
So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.
"Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself. That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.
Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone. Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"
"No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks. "I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"
"That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you -- Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty.' "

Good Jokes For Indian: Just For A Good Laugh

One of our politicians visited another American politician's house.
The house was amazing so the Indian politician asked- "itnaa accha ghar kaise?"
American politician : "wo samne bridge dikh rha hai?"
Indian politician : "Haan"
American politician : "10% usme se" :
Then...
American politician visited the indian politician's house--- which was even better.
American : "itna badaa aur awesome ghar! Kaise?"
Indian : "wo samne bridge dikh raha hai?"
American : "Nahi"
Indian : "hahaha.."

18+ Hindi Non Veg Jokes: Funny And Hilarious


Ladki ka baap : Main nahi chahata ki meri ladki apni poori zindagi ek gadhe ke saath guzaare.
Ladki ka Boyfriend : Bus isiliye to main usse shaadi kar ke yahan se le jaana chahata hoon.
============
Rat Bhar Ayi Nhi, Or Hum Hila Hila Kr Yu Hi So Gye,
Jo Hila Rhe The Woh Pankha Tha, Jo Ayi Nhi Wo Bijli Thi,
Abe Salo Kbi To Acha Samja Kro Dirty Mind
============
3 Idiots Sex Education Lab Scene ( read like original dialouge) +16

Teacher: "What Is A Condom?" Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hain Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu Rahe Ho?" Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se Iccha Thi Ki Main Sex Education College Mein Padhu! Aaj Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa Raha Hai" Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat Nahi Hai, Condom Ki Definition Bolo?" Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything Which Reduces Population" Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?" Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population Control Kare!" "Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai, Condom Hai Na" "Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak, Condom Hai Sir" "Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire Hue Hai" "8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh Tak, Sab Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai" "1 Second Mein In, 1 Second Mein Out, In-Out, In-Out" Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya Hai?" Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir" Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab Likhoge?" "Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak! Idiot" "Anybody Else??" Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between Any Combination Of Body So Connected, That Their Relative Positions May Be Seen In Kamasutra.." Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai
===========
Meri pyaas bujha do

Malka sharawat ne chirag regra, us me se jin nika, Jin:kya hukum hai maray aaqa?? Malka:Meri pyaas bujha do, Jin:7up se ya 7?inch se
===========
Sub ka Number aye Ga

Ek Larki ka Gang Rape ho raha tha Woh chillaa chillaa k keh rehi thi Kutto Kamino Khuda k wastay Laro to Nahi Sub ka Number aye Ga

Naughty Puzzle Hindi Funny Jokes 14 Oct 2014


It’s the thing that satisfiesur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed,
on a sofa,
in the car or
anywhere!

It’s called ...........Prayer!God bless ur naughty mind.

HUSBAND WIFE Funny Chat Jokes In English


A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the
question.
WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”
HUSBAND: “Definitely not!”
WIFE: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?”
HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”
WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”
HUSBAND: “Okay, okay, I’d get married again.”
WIFE: “You would?” (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: “Would you live in our house?”
HUSBAND: “Sure, it’s a great house.”
WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”
WIFE: “Would you let her drive my car?”
HUSBAND: “Probably, it is almost new.”
WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?”
HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”
WIFE: “Would you give her my jewelry?”
HUSBAND: “No, I’m sure she’d want her own.”
WIFE: “Would she use my golf clubs?”
HUSBAND: “No, she’s left-handed.”
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND : “Shit.”
Hilarious Husband Wife Jokes
A funny Thinking of husband about wife

Adult Hindi Jokes: May I Buy Your Drinks

A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?". Looking back unimpressed at the man she replies, "Okay, but it won't do you any good." A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?"

"Okay, but it still won't do you any good." He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, "Okay, but it won't do you any good." They get to his apartment and he says, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife." She says, "Oh, that's different. Send her in."

Whatsapp Message: Adult Hilarious Jokes Of The Night

JOKE OF THE NIGHT A woman passed her
daughter's room and heard a
strange buzzing noise. Opening
the door, she
saw her daughter
with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked why?? The daughter replied:mom, I'm
thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing
is as close as I'll
ever get to a husband. So
Please,leave me alone. Next day, the father heard the
same buzz and
upon entering, he also saw the
same scene. To his query,the daughter
again said: dad I'm thirty-five,
unmarried, and
this
thing is about as close as I'll
ever get to a husband. Please, leave me
alone. A couple days later, the wife
came home from
shopping and heard that
buzzing noise coming
from,
the living room. On entering she saw her
husband sitting on the
couch,downing a cold beer, and
staring at the
TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch,
buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: What the f#*k
are you doing? The husband replied: I'm
watching football with
my
son-in-law..

Ancient Adult Funny English Jokes Whatsapp Message 11 Oct 2014

During a war warrior shouted against 3 ladies
Warrior: I am going to r*pe you all. Younger
lady: But please leave our grand mother.
Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.

Like Father Like Son - Whatsapp English Funny Jokes Message

A funny english whatsapp message on like father like son: adult jokes

A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee. He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"

Secretary Fu*king Story: Funny English Jokes


A boss said to his secretary I want to have SE*X with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still f*cking!"

18+ Whatsapp Adult Jokes: The King Daughter

Once upon a time there was a king who had a beautiful daughter. One day a young prince from a nearby kingdom came by for a visit. That night, after everyone had gone to bed, the prince snuck out of his room and entered the princess' room.

She said, "What are you doing in my room? Leave immediately or I will call my father!"

The Prince said, "Don't be frightened. I am not going to hurt you. You are so beautiful. I just want to kiss you and hold you."

He kissed her lips and here and there and everywhere. Soon he had gone where no man had gone before. Soon they were enthusiastically doing what comes natural. After he finished, he rolled over and relaxed.

She said, "Wow! That was fun. Let's do it again."

He climbed back in the saddle for seconds. Then again rolled over and relaxed.

She said, "That was so good. We have to do it again."

He wasn't very enthusiastic, but he did managed to rise again to the occasion. He then rolled over and again tried to relax.
She said, "Come on, let's do it again."

The prince said, "Leave me alone or I will call your father."

English Adult Dirty Jokes 09 Oct 2014


An admiral visits one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.

He went to the cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.

The cook replied, "Well Admiral, after each one is cut out I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the insignia."

Horrified the Admiral exclaims, "Well that's very unhygenic!"

The cook shrugs and replies, "Well... if you feel that way Sir, I suggest you steer well clear of the donuts!"

English Superb Dirty Jokes: acute angina


An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him.

After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him.

She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina".

The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."

Naughty Adult Whatsapp Message In Hindi Jokes

..Oye! marega kya???


1 ladki raste se jaa rahi thi,side
se achanak bike nikli..!
.
.
.
. Ladki: Abey! Oye maarega kya ?
.
.
.
.
. .me : mood to nahi hai, par degi to
maar loonga...."