Funny Whatsapp Message Jokes 20 Sep 2014

Lets spare a thought for d man who told his wife that he was going 2 China on d Malaysian plane and now cant leave his girlfriends apartment

I asked my therapist what I should do with my life.
Ha ha, just kidding, as if I would ask a bottle of vodka a fucking question.

My girlfriend called me a 'spineless pussy'.
I was so angry I made her breakfast in bed.

I asked my grandad if he could still do a handstand.
He only lasted about two seconds before unintentionally tea bagging himself.


When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don't believe you."

It's been 4 years to the day that I threw that boomerang.
I still find myself looking over my shoulder and living in fear.

When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he's "Incredible."
But when I do it,
I'm, "an alcoholic."