18+ Adult Jokes In English - Not For Child

Doctor, doctor, I’m having trouble with my todger, can you
do anything for me?” said the distressed man.
After a thorough examination the doctor told him that he
must have been so sexually active in the past that he’d almost
worn it out. The fact is that he’d only got the use of it for
another 25 shags. The young man went home to his wife and
told her what the doctor had said.
“Oh no!” she cried, “We mustn’t waste any of them, we’ll
have to draw up a carefully planned timetable.”
“I’ve already done that,” he said, “on the way home, and
there isn’t a slot left for you.”

Hindi jokes: Geo News Or Ab GEO SEX

Geo News
Or ab GEO SEX
AaJ Open Market me bachi chodne ka tanasub ye raha:
18 saal ka seal pack maal 20 hazar, jab k 25 sy 30 ki range 15 hazar tk,
jab k international market me Goori ki choot marny k 200$ rhy,
Aaj din k ikhtitaam py shamim randi khana 22 bachiyan chudwa kr Sar-E-Fehrist raha
Champa [...]

Whatsapp Hindi Jokes: If You Don't Read Now, You Will Hate Yourself Later

Ek NRI India Ghumne Aaya Aur Usne Tea-Stall Par
-
-
Jakar Ek Chai Order Ki.
NRI Ko Ek Chhota Ladka Chai Dene Aaya, Jisne
Chai Ke Cup Ko Peene Wale Hisse Se Andar Ki
Taraf Se Pakda Hua Tha.
`
`
NRI Ne Chai Ka Ek Ghoot Piya Aur Bola: “ Tum Log
Kab Sudhroge? Chai Is Tarah Nahi Pakadte, Ungli
Nahi Doobate Chai Mein ”
`
`
Ladka: “ Sahab Ungli Mein Dard Hai, Dr. Ne Senkne
Ke Liye Kaha Tha”
NRI Gusse Se Bola: “ Bhonsdi Ke Apni Gaand Mein
Rakh Ungli, Wahaan Sabse Jayada Senk Milega ”
Ladka: “ Sahab Abhi Tak Udhar Hi Thi, Aapke Order
Ke Baad Nikalni Padi“

7 Sexy Hindi Adult Whatsapp Jokes Your Girlfriend Wants To Know

Here are top 7 super sexy hindi jokes collection form my whatsapp message. my girlfriend share this jokes on my whatsapp. i tell you those jokes. all the jokes are so sexy and very adult. here you can get unlimited jokes message.

Here is the list of top 7 sexy Hindi whatsapp jokes

Santa Se Kisi Interview Pe Chaar Cheeze Puchi
Gayi
Ki Bataye Ki Aapki Strength, Weakness,
Opportunity & Threat Kya Hai
Santa Ne Bada Soch Samajh Ke Jawab Diya
Strength – My Wife , Preeto.
Weakness – Bantas Wife, Jeeto.
Opportunity – When Banta Is On Tour.
Threat – When I Am On Tour.
============================
Husband and Wife Sex Kar
Rahe The.
Achanak kisine Door-Bell Bajayi.
Aadmi ne 5 Min bad Darwaja Khola.
Dost - Yaar badi der laga di
darwaja
kholne mein ?
Aadmi - Hum log chatni koot
rahe the.
Shararti Dost bola - Bhabhi
hame bhi
Chatni chatao na..
Hoshiyar Bhabhi - Maine Toh
Bartan Dho
Diye Hain,Kutne ke Dande Par
Lagi Hogi, woh
Chat Lo..
============================
Ek Ladki Swimming Pool Par Nahane Gayi Aur
Guard Se Puchha.
Ladki: “ Kya Main Yahaan Bikini Pahan Kar Tair
Sakti Hoon?”
Guard: “ Ji Bilkul Bhi Nahi”
Ladki Ne Ye Suna, Muskurayi Aur Saare Kapde Aur
Bra-Panty Utari,
Aur Swimming Pool Mein Kood Gayi.
============================
Lady to DOCTOR:- mujhe Thakan bahut hoti hai.
DOCTOR - Sex kitna karti ho?
Lady - daily.
DOCTOR - Sunday ko mat karo.
Lady- Hey Ram. Sunday ko hi toh pati Ghar par hote hain, unhe kaise manaa karu?
============================
Hostel Mein Ladkiya Cycle Chalate Hue Zor Zor Se
Shor Macha Rahi Thhi
Warden: “ Jyada Shor Mat Karo Warna Saari Cycles
Par Wapis Se Seat Lagva Dungi “
============================
College Ke Trip Par Bache
Ghumne Gaye
Thhe, Aur Usmein Chinki Bhi
Thhi,
Jaisa Ki Aap Log Jante Ho Ki Jaha 1 Se Jyada
Ladkiya Ho, Vaha Bas Duniya
Bhar Ki Ajeebo
Gareeb Baatein Shuru.
Ese Hi Chinki Ki Ek Friend Ne
Sabhi Friends Ke Aage Ek Question Rakha.
Ladki: “Koi Btayega Ki Doodh
Aur Ladki Mein
Kya Faraq Hota Hai”
Chinki: “Ja Pagli Tujhe Itna Bhi
Nahi Pata, Doodh Jab Gharam Hota Hai Toh
Malayi Uper
Aati Hai, Aur Ladki Jab Garam
Ho Toh Malayi Niche Aati Hai”

8 Sexy Adult Whatsapp Jokes Message In Hindi

Husband: Darling agar tum khana bnana sekh lo toh nokrani ka
kharcha bach jayega..
Wife:Agar tum sex kerna seekh
lo toh
Maali,
Driver,
Chokidar
Sb ka kharcha bach jayega..
=========================
NON-VAG JOKES KA BAP
Jungle me ek shikari ko shikar ni mila to wo muth
marne baith gya.
ek sher ne ye dekha to bhagte huye sare janwaro
se bola jisko apni jaan pyari hain bhaag jao.
lomdi boli kya hua?
sher bola main ek se ek shikari dekhe pr aisa
shikari nhi dekha jo itni chhoti gun ko 60-70 dafa
load kr chuka ho
pta ni sala ktne fire krega.
==========================
Teacher: What is the opposite of laugh…?
Boy Ans: SEX
Teacher: How ?
Boy: Laugh is – haa haa haa haa haa
Sex is – aah aah aah aah aah..
==========================
What's the difference between a 'Boot' and
'Choot'?
Boot accepts only one size, whereas a Choot
accepts all sizes!
==========================
Santa-HELMETk upar se apna sar khujla rha tha..
Wife-Aji helmet toh utaar lo
Santa-Bahnchod teri gand me khujli hoti h
toh kya shalwar utar deti hai..
=========================
Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha
Achanak Hi Santa Ne Pucha.
Santa To Girl: “ Do U Have Aids? ”
Girl: “ No ”
Santa: “ Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai, Main Nahi
Chahta Ki Mujhe Dobara Aids Ho Jaye. “
==========================
Ladka ladki ko pataa ke car
mein jungle le gaya.
Ladke ne
sex karna shuru kiya toh
ladki boli:
"Mein bataana bhool gayi ki
mein Prostitute hun aur ek
baar ke 500 leti hun." Ladke ne majboori mein paise
diye aur thoka. Thokne ke
baad ladka cigarette peene
laga.
Ladki- chalo na wapas nahi
jaana kya?
"Ladka-Mein bataana bhool
gaya tha ki mein Taxi Driver
hun aur yaha se shahar ke 800 leta hun."
Moral-thokne se pahle bhale
boys lund se sochte hain par thokne k baad dimaag se hi
kaam lete hain..!!

Ultimate Sexy Whatsapp Jokes Message In Hindi

suhaag raat ko dulhe ne nayi
naveli dulhan ko muhh dekhai
main 50 hazar rupye diye.
dulhan paise le k hairaan
hote huye boli: hain…?
kitney aadmi hain?
============================
Ultimate one !!!
.
.
Santa to Dad: I have the biggest Penis in class. Is
it because I am Punjabi?
Dad: Behenchod ! It's because you are 18 & still in

Whatsapp Sexy English Jokes message - The old farmer married a young girl

The old farmer married a young girl of 18 and after a few
months of idyllic married life, he went to see his doctor.
“The problem is I’m having to work many hours on the farm
but I have to keep breaking off when I get the urge, to run
back to the house, jump into bed and do the business. Then
it’s back to work, and it’s knackering me.”
The doctor suggested that his wife should come to see him
out in the fields.
“Every time you get the urge,” said the doctor, “fire a shot
from your gun to let your wife know you’re waiting for her.
A few months passed and then the doctor met the old farmer
in the high street.
“How’s the shotgun plan working?” he asked.

Adult Hindi Sexy Jokes On My Whatsapp

Here Two Best Adult Hindi Jokes Message i Bring Up For You. I think u must be like this jokes

Ladko Ko Network Ki Kya
Problem ?
Ladke Ka Mast Baatein Karne
Ka Mood Bana Toh Apni Girl-Friend Ko Fon Kiya.
Ladki: “Hello, Janu Kaise Ho?”
Ladka: “Main Toh Theek Hoon
Sweetheart, Aur Tum Sunao”
Ladki: “Kaha Se Baat Kar Rahe
Ho?”
Ladka: “Basment Se”
Ladki: “Waha Bhi Network Mil Raha Hai”
Ladka: “Network Kyun Nahi Ayega Apna Personal Tower
Jo Khada Hai“
============================
Baba Sexidas Ji Ka Ek Bhakt Jo Ki Bahut Bada
Business Man Tha Unke Pass Gaya Aur Ek Sawal
Pucha.
Bhakt: “ Baba Ji, Duniya Ka Sabse Bada Business
Kon Sa Hai? ”
Baba Ji Muskuraye Aur Bole: “ Call Girls Ka ”
Bhakat Hairani Se: “Areey, Wo Kaise? ”
Baba Ji: “Kyunki Unke Pass Jo Cheez Hai Vo Use
Ache Daam Par Bech Bhi Leti Hai Aur Wo Cheez
Unke Paas Rah Bhi Jati Hai “

Share unlimited funny jokes for whatsapp, keep update with us. we update daily with some funny jokes.

Sexy Adult English Jokes On Whatsapp 24 April 2014

Most Sexy and very funny English jokes message from whastapp, Every day update some cool jokes for whatsapp sharing.
Two men were talking over the garden fence when the fire
station’s alarm went off. Immediately, Jack bid his mate
goodbye and headed for the gate.
“Heh Jack,” his mate shouted out to him, “how long have
you been a volunteer fireman?”
“I’m not,” replied Jack, “but my lover’s husband is.”

Condom Kya Hota Hai - Super Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes For Whatsapp Message

What Is Common Between Moov Cream And Penis???
-
-
-
Ans: “Dono Gehraai Tak Jaye,
Garmahat Laye, Aram Dilaye
Aaah Se A-Haaa Tak“
============================
Pota: “Dada Ji Ye Condom Kya Hota Hai?
-
-
-
Dada: “Chal Bhag Yahan Se, Mujhe Nahi Pata”
Pota: “Bhonsdi Ke Agar Pata Hota To Aaj Ek Jaydaad Ke 8 Hisse Na Karne Padte“

In Hindi Sexy Whatsapp Message Jokes - XX Base

Girls ki Upar ki Sab Cheez 'B' se Shuru hoti hai.
Blouse
Bra
Bikini
B_ _bs
Aur
Niche ki 'P' se...
Peticot
Panty
Period
Pu_ _ y.
Is liye admi ko b.p ki bimari hoti hai??
============================
What Is The Difference Between Good Girl And Bad Girl?
Good Girl Ghar Ja Kar Soti Hai Aur Bad Girl So Kar Ghar Jati Hai.
Good Girl Mandir Jati Hai Aur Bad Girl Mandir Ke Pichhe Jati Hai.
Good Girl Bolti Hai “Dinner Ke Liye Shukriya”, Bad Girl Bolti Hai “Subha Nashte Mein Kya Hai”
Good Girls Loosen A Few Buttons When It’s Hot, Bad Girls Make It Hot By Loosening A Few Buttons.
Good Girls Never Consider Sleeping With The Boss, Bad Girls Never Do Either, Unless He’s Very, Very Rich.
Good Girls Say, “No, Bad Girls Say, “When n Where?”
Good Girls Only Own One Credit Card And Rarely Use It, Bad Girls Only Own One Bra And Rarely Use It.
Good Girls Blush During Love Scenes In A Movie. Bad Girls Know They Could Do It In Better Way.
Good Girls Think They’re Not Fully Dressed Without A Strand Of Pearls. Bad Girls Think They’re Fully Dressed With Just A Strand Of Pearls.
Good Girls Wax Their Floors. Bad Girls Wax Their Bikini Lines.
Good Girls Wear High Heels To Work. Bad Girls Wear High Heels To Bed.

Whatsapp Sexy Adult English Jokes - key of his wife

King John was off to the crusades, but before he left, he told
his faithful servant that he would leave with him the key of
his wife’s chastity belt for safe keeping.
“If you don’t hear from me within five years, you can let her
out,” he said.
The King set off, but he’d only been gone an hour when his
trusty servant caught up with him.
“Sire, Sire,” he panted. “You gave me the wrong key!”

2014 English Superb Sexy Adult Jokes - Wife With A Naked man

A man returned home early from work to discover his wife
in bed with a naked man. “How dare you!” he bellowed.
“Come here you bastard, I’ll teach you a lesson you won’t
forget.”
“Now wait a minute, Tom,” interrupted his wife. “You
remember that new car I got last spring? Well, he gave it to
me. And that smashing holiday we went on, well, he paid for
that. And I think we could do with a new roof on the house
soon.”
“Whatever are you thinking of?” replied the husband. “He’ll
get cold if you don’t cover him up, and I’m sure he could do
with a nice cup of tea.”

English Epic Adult Jokes Whatsapp Message

English Epic Adult Jokes Whatsapp Message

A bloke walked into the pub and was astounded at the sight
of the barman. He was built like a brick shithouse with
muscles bulging out all over, tattoos everywhere, unshaven
and sweaty.
After a moment or two the barman became aware of the
looks he was getting and said, “What the bloody hell are you
looking at?”
“Sorry, mate, it’s just that you look just like someone I know.
You’re almost identical…if it wasn’t for the moustache…”
“But I haven’t got a moustache,” said the barman.
“No, but my wife has.”

New Super Adult Hindi Jokes For Whatsapp

Here are some non veg adult jokes message collection for whatsapp chat message. share hindi non veg jokes with your friend on whatsapp. daily update some jokes and funny status for whatsapp.

Boy txts his gf: Kal date pe tum mujhe kiss dogi?
Girl: nahi kisi ne dekh liya toh?
Boy: Koi nahi dekhega.. bharosa rakho mujh per.
Girl: Ok de dungi.
Boy: Boobs choosne do gi?
Girl: Ok choos lena.

After 20 mins.
Boy texts: Yeh sab galat hai...main tumhein touch bhi nahi karna chahta.......
Girl: Mujhe pata hai madarchod, tune muth maar li hai.

Best Funny Whatsapp English Jokes Message

An ageing old rook was talking to a bull in a field.
“I wish I could fly to the top of that tree, but these days, I just
haven’t got the energy,” he said sadly.
“I’ve got an idea,” replied the bull. “If you eat part of my
droppings you’ll get extra energy because they’re packed
with minerals and vitamins.”
So the rook did as he suggested and each day ate part of the
bull’s droppings. Sure enough, after a couple of weeks, the
rook felt so revived he soared to the top of the tree and
proudly surveyed the surrounding countryside. However, he
was spotted by a farmer who immediately got hold of his
shotgun and killed the bird stone-dead.
“Oh dear,” sighed the bull. “I should have warned him. Bull
shit may get you to the top, but it doesn’t mean you’ll stay
there.”....

Best Funny English Adult Jokes On 18 April 2014

A man went for a meal in a kosher restaurant and said to the
waiter, “Excuse me, do you have matzoballs?”
“No sir,” he replied. “It’s just the way I walk.”
---------------
Did you hear about the man who so hated his mother-in-law
that he cut the tail off the dog so there would be no visible
signs of welcome!

Sexy Whatsapp English Jokes Message Collection

A man walks into a bar with a cat and an ostrich and orders
three pints of beer.
“That’ll be £4.60,” says the barman and the man hands over
the money. Sometime later, another round is ordered and
when it comes to paying, the cat says “You get these ostrich,
I think it’s your shout.”
The three stay in the bar drinking all night but no matter
how many rounds they have, the cat manages to get out of
paying. As the bell for last orders rings, the barman says to
the man, “How come you’re drinking with a cat and an
ostrich?”
“Well,” says the man sadly, “not long ago, I was out walking
on the beach when I found an old bottle. I took out the cork

Hindi Whatsapp Non Veg Jokes - Boyfriend To GirlFriend

Boyfriend: jaan mujhe bohot thandi lag rahi hai..
.
.
.
-
-
GirlFriend:  Mere upar ke dono hitar pakad lo..
.
.
.
Boyfriend:  Jaan abhi bhi thandi lag rahi hai..
.
.
.
GirlFriend: Abe chutiye niche plug to lagaa..

Adult Hindi Jokes From Whatsapp - Just For Fun!!

Boy To Girl: Ghulab Aisa Ho Jiss Mein Kaatein Na Ho,
Larki Ki Chut Aisi Ho Jis Mein Jhaate Na Ho.
Girl To Boy: Gulab Khareedne Wale Kaatein Nahi Dekhte, Ladki Ko Chodne Wale Jhaate Nahi Dekhte.

Just For Fun Whatsapp Jokes Message In Hindi

Some Funny Message Jokes Collection here from whatsapp group. last night i read some funny staff, here i like to share with you some of this. every day i update with a new post some whatsapp jokes, message and us to get this.

Girl - mummy, kya bacha waha se hota he jaha ladke apna lund dalte hai.

Mummy- ha beta.
Girl - oh shit,iska mtlab mere bche mere muh se honge !
-----------------
Ek gav me basti thi.
Jha randiya sasti thi.
Unki chud me etni masti thi.
Jitna dalo hasti thi.
Tum dhi bhut haste ho usi gav k lgte....................hahaha
----------------------
Baal uske silky ho,
Breast uske milky ho,
Dekhne me chikni ho,
Pahni usne bikini ho,
Humko itni छूट ho,
Niche uske चूत ho,
Lamba apna danda ho,
Usme jaake thanda ho.
-------------------
Why Girls Think That Love Marriage Is Better Than Arranged? Because A Known Sucker Is Better Than An Unknown Fucker. Editor: What do you think which is better? Please share your thoughts in comments.

Whatsapp Hindi Funny Jokes: 2X Rate

ek admi purani gun lekr jungle me rich k shikar k lye jata he bdi der k bad use ek rich milta he admi forn gun me barood bhrta he or rich ka nishana lekr fire krta he. hr trf dhowan hojata he jb dhowan ghaib hota he, tw rich us k samne khrda hota he admi us k pero me gir jata he rich bhai maf krdo ab kbi esi glti ni kronga.
rich kehta he is ki saza ye he k me tmri gand maron ga. admi sochta he gand mara leta hon jan bach jae gi yaha kon dekne wala he jisko pta chale. rich gand marta he or khushi khusi chalta bnta he admi ko bht gusa ata he wo dobara gun me masala bhrta he or nishana lekr fire deta he phr dhuwan dhuwan hota he dhuwan chat ta he tw phr rich us k piche kharda hota he is dfa phr admi us k pero me gir jata he rich phr whi shrt rkta he admi phr rich se gand mara leta he or rich khushi khushi chalta bnta he admi is bar bht gusa ata he ek janwar ek insan ki gand mar kr jarha he admi ek dfa phr try krta he phr whi hota he rich admi k pas akr kehta he gandu tu shikr karne aya he ya gand marane.

Hindi Non Veg Jokes: Whatsapp Non Veg Group

Best Double Meaning ANd Superb Sexy, Adult Hindi NOn VEg Jokes Message Collection From Whatsapp.

Whatsapp Hindi Non VEg Jokes Message On Pappu Ka College

Pappu Ka Ab School Time Pura Ho Chuka Thha Aur Ab Uska College Mein Admission Ho Gaya Thha
Ab Jaisi Aap Logo Ko Pata Hai Ki College Mein Ragging Aam Baat Hai
Ese Hi Senior Students Ne Usko Bulaya Aur Kaha
Senior Students: “Chal Be, Koi Esi Gaali Deke Dikha, Jo Na Kabhi Kisi Ne Suni Ho Aur Na Hi Kisi Ne Kisiko Di Ho”
Pappu: “Hum Sab Juniors Ka Lund Ek Jhopde Me Aur Jhopda Ap Ki Maa Ke Bhoosde Me“

Super Sexy ANd Adult Hindi Non Veg Jokes This one, please child don't read this.

Hamara Ek Dost Tha Mausam, Bada Hi Majakiya Kism Ka Thha.
Gaanv Mein Uska Khet Thha Aur Uske Khet Mein Tmatar Bade Hi Laal Hua Karte Thhe
Ek Din Uski Padosan Ne Us Se Vajah Puch Li To Usne Bataya
Mausam: “Babhi Ji, Main Roj Subha Pura Nanga Hokar Khait Mein Paani Dalta Hun, Isliye Vo Sharam Se Laal Ho Jaate Hai”
Aurat Khush Hui Aur Usko Idea Pasand Aya Aur Agle Din Usne Apne Khet Mein Nangi Ho Ke Paani Diya
Kuch Der Bad Mausam Ne Dekha Vo Side Mein Udas Khadi Thhi Mausam Ne Puch Liya
Mausam: “Babhi Ji Kya Hua Udaas Kyu Ho?”
Aurat: “Kya Batau Ji, Mene Bhi Nangi Hoke Pani Diya, Tamatar To Laal Nahi Hue Par Kheere Jarur Lambe Ho Gaye“

20 English Adult Jokes Message On Whatsapp

This Is the collection of some adult jokes message on whatsapp. some people on my funny english jokes group share some jokes message, here i share this english jokes message. only adult people can understand this jokes.

English Adult Jokes/Two Old Man

Two old ex-service men were boasting about their past
conquests.
“When I was in the army, I had hundreds of girls, wherever I
was stationed. We soldiers were real men.”
“Rubbish,” replied the Admiral. “I bet I slept with far more
women than you. Girls like sailors.”
“Okay, okay, when did you last sleep with a woman?”
demanded the soldier.
“About 1958,” replied the Admiral.
“You see! You call that being a ladies’ man?”, said the soldier.
The Admiral looked at his watch and said scornfully, “Well,
it’s only 22.10 now.”

Drink Limited, Whatsapp English Jokes

English Jokes Message On Whatsapp/ A Vain Man

A very vain man, who spent more time in the gym lifting
weights than he did at work, decided he wanted a full-length
mirror in the bathroom so he could admire himself. He
went down to the local second-hand shop to see what was on
offer.
“We’ve got plenty of mirrors, Sir,” said the shopkeeper, “but
if I was you, I wouldn’t pick this one because it has strange
powers that don’t always do you any good.” But the man’s
curiosity was aroused and he insisted on buying that
particular mirror. The next morning he looked at himself in
the new mirror and realised he was not as well endowed as
he thought he was.
“Okay mirror,” he said, “if you’ve really got special powers,
give me a dick that touches the floor.” And the man’s legs fell
off.

My Jokes Are like hot Chicks/Click Image To Enlarge

If You Like English Jokes You Can Share Jokes On Our Whatsapp Group

18+ English Jokes Whatsapp Message On 15 April 2014

A young journalist was asked to go and interview a
celebrated old colonel who had moved into the area. Now
the old colonel’s reputation for bravery was well
documented and the journalist decided to try and get a
different angle on the interview. After chatting for about 20
minutes he then asked the colonel if there had been any time
when he was really frightened.
The colonel thought for a moment and then replied, “There
was a time when we were deep in the jungle, on the track of
a bunch of renegades, when suddenly a lion jumped out at
me and roared ‘Aaarrgh’. Bloody hell, I shit myself.”
The journalist was thrilled with the story.
“When was that?” he asked. “When did that happen?”
“Just now when I went ‘Aaarrgh,’ ” replied the colonel.

Funny English Whatsapp Adult Jokes X-rated

“Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man.
“Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been
born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been
going on?”
“Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do
you have sex?”
“About 5 times a year.”
“Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty....

X-Rated English Funny Jokes For Whatsapp

Johnnie asked for time off because his wife was going to have
a baby. The following day, his boss asked him what it was – a
boy or a girl.
“Too early to say,” said Johnny.” “it’ll be another 9 months
before we know the answer to that.”

Adult Whatsapp Jokes Message In English X-Rated

The 50-year-old woman phoned up her 60-year-old husband.
“Darling, it’s a miracle, the doctor says I’m pregnant, isn’t
that wonderful? You’re going to be a father.”
“That’s great” replied the husband. “By the way, who is
this?”

Adult English Whatsapp Jokes Message

The wife’s mother rushed into the maternity wing to find out
how her daughter was progressing. As she entered the
waiting room, she spotted her son-in-law. Unbeknown to her,
he was listening to the cricket on his IPod.
“How’s it going?” she asked anxiously.
“Not bad,” he smiled, “they’ve got four out and there’s only
one to go.”
“Aaah,” she screamed, and fainted.

Epic Adult Funny Jokes On Whatsapp

WIFE: If I had known you were this poor, I wouldn't have married you.

HUSBAND: When I was telling you that you are the only thing I have, what were you thinking?

Whatsapp English Adult Jokes Message 05 April 2014

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience.
 As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: ”How heavy is this glass of water?”Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I holdit for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!**

6 Step To Hide Whatsapp Last Seen

1. Make sure that your smartphone is running on Android 2.1 or a newer version
2. Head to the Settings menu and enable 'Download from Unknown Sources' in the Security tab

3. Go to the WhatsApp website and download the APK (application) file available under www.whatsapp.com/Android/

4. Once the APK file is downloaded to your device, tap on it. It will show two options - 'Package Installer' and 'Verify and Install'; select the first one

5. You will get a message saying that this application will make changes to WhatsApp; allow it to alter the app. All your WhatsApp data will be retained despite the changes

6. Now that WhatsApp has been updated, select Setting ? Account ? Privacy. You will see the 'Last Seen' option here, with three options - Everyone, My Contacts and Nobody. Select the one that suits you best

Remember, when you stop others from seeing your 'Last Seen' timestamp, you were not be able to see theirs either.

Under the Privacy menu, you will also see the options of restricting who can see your profile photo and status. This is a feature available only on WhatsApp and not on iPhones.



iPhone users who want to alter the 'Last Seen' settings can follow these simple steps:

1. Open WhatsApp and go to Chat Settings and select Advanced

2. Now turn toggle the 'Last Seen Timestamp' to 'Off'

Once you change the Last Seen status on WhatsApp for iPhones, you will not be able to alter it again for the next 24 hours. On the other hand, Android has no such restrictions and you can change the setting as many times as you want on the same day.

Non Veg Jokes Messaging On Whatsapp April 2014

Height of Nonsense: Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes Message

A girl give a pendrive 2 a boy &
said "isme
facebook daal k dena"

Boy gave her a shitty look &
then girl said: .

"kya hua 2GB me nai ayega
kya ?" xP ;D .

Most Funniest Hindi Whatsapp Jokes Messaging

Platform Par Saaman Ke Dher Ke Sath.
ek Ladki Baithi hui thi
Coolie Ne Puchha- Madam, Coolie Chahiye?
Ladki - Nahi Mera Boyfrnd Hain Mere Sath.

Whatsapp Hindi Adult Jokes Message: Non Veg Only

Pure Non Veg Jokes Collection:

Ek Aurat Auto Rukwa Kar Paise Tay Karte-Karte Doosre Auto Mein Baith Gayi.
Pehla Auto Wala Hadbadi Mein Jaldi-Jaldi Se Bola.
Auto Wala: “Ye Kya Baat Hui, Madam? Khada Aapne Mera Karwaya, Aur Chadd Doosre Par Gayi?

HIndi Super Adult Non Veg Jokes Message From Whatsapp

Girl demanded for Icecream.. boy purchased it,.. Girl: Thank u.. Boy: Only thank u..?? Girl : u want kiss na,,? Boy: chup kar … Aadhi Ice cream de…

Boy: Mujhe pyar karti ho
To kal college me White dress pehan ke aana.
Ladki Black pehn k ayi
Boy:Tu jab jhuki to maine dekh liya Ki tu mujhe andar se pyar karti hai.

Stupid Ladki: Non Veg Jokes For Whatsapp

Ladki: Is mirror ki kya
keemat he??
SHOPKEEPER : Rs.1000 !
.
.
Ladki: ohh.. bahut mehnga he..
kya isme koi khas baat he??
.
.
SHOPKEEPER: aap isko 100
floor se niche girao,
.
ye mirror 99 floor tak nai tutega...
.
.
Ladki :Wow........PACK kardo bhaiya!

Hindi Non Veg Jokes For Whatsapp Message

Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, “is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha, “ pata nahin.” Teacher ne kaha, “ Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”.
----------------------
Do ladies car driving seekh rahi thi
Unke pati:- Yaar meri biwi toh raat ko gear samjh kar hilati rahti hai
Dusra:- Meri biwi toh panty khol kar boli 200 ka daal do Tongue
----------------------
Girl to boy- Tum kitne bhai behan ho..
Boy - 6
Girl- kyo maa Baap ko koi kaam nhi tha kya..
Boy - tum kitne ho.
Girl - 1
Boy - Kyo Baap me Dum nhi tha kya....

X-Rated Whatsapp Adult Jokes In English

Whatsapp Jokes On Couple

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh..'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?

X-Rated Whatsapp Adult Jokes Message On 02 Mar 2014

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as
soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'

Jokes From Santa's Whatsapp

Santa Ke Ghar Ek Billi Rehti Thhi...
Santa Billi Se Tang Aaker Use Kahi Chhod Aaya,
Ghar Aaya To Billi Usse Pehle Pahunchi Hui Thi.
Santa Billi Ko Dubara Kahi Door Chod Ke Aaya,
Billi Phir Usse Pehle Ghar Pahunch Gayi.
Santa Ko Bahut Gussa Aaya..
Aur Abki baar Woh Billi Ko Bohut Hi Jyada Door Chhodne Gaya...

Waha Se Usne Wife Ko Phone Kiya Aur Puchha.
Santa: Banto, Billi Ghar Pahunch Gayi Ya Nahi?

Banto Kaur: Haan Pahunch Gayi Hai, bolo kya hua?
Santa Rote Hue: Uss Kamini Se Bol Ki Mujhe Aaker Le Jaye, Main Rasta Bhul Gaya Hoon!!