Non Veg Jokes: Whatsapp Funny Messages Idea

Teacher Student funny hindi jokes whatsapp messages.
Teacher: Bade ho kar tum kya karoge?
Student: Ji shaadi.
Teacher: Mera matalab, kya banoge?
Student: Ji dulha.
Teacher: Are, mera matlab hai, kya hasil karoge?
Student: Ji DULHAN.

Non Veg Jokes On Santa: Hindi Jokes Plus

Hindi and funny whatsapp messages idea for your friend. a jokes on santa.

Santa dials a number and a girl named 'SITA' Receives phones.
Santa says, " maine to delhi phone lagaya tha, ye ayodhy kaise lag gaya."

Santa- sarabi marne ke baad swarg mein jate hein ke nark mein?
Banta- Mujhe nahin pata! tum kahan jana chahte ho?
Santa- Donon mein se ek jagah to jana hi hoga!
Banta- Tum chale jana, pine ke baad mein to kahin nahin jata!!!

Non Veg Jokes: Hindi Jokes Plus Funny Picture

Latest collection of most funny Hindi jokes and whastapp messages idea for your funny whatsapp group or friend.

#Jokes

Fly in the tea cup

Customer: Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?

Waiter: “How could I know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Top Funny Picture Messages For Whatsapp 23 February 2015

Collection of this week most funny and naughty whatsapp picture messages idea.

Hindi Non Veg Jokes Plus: Whatsapp Text Messages Idea

Funny whatsapp text messages idea for your friend and whatsapp non veg jokes group.

Husband Wife Adult Non Veg Jokes

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"
Wife : "Those they gave away."
Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."
Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"
Husband : "That's where they held the auction."

Non Veg Jokes And Funny Whatsapp Messages 20 February 2015

Some most funny whatsapp messages idea collection. make a funny whatsapp messages to your friend and share this on your whatsapp group.

Jokes In text
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where St. Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates.
Since they’ve all led exemplary lives, he lets each say any woman’s name and she’ll go back to Earth for six months as that person.
“Sophia Loren,” says the first nun - and poof, she disappears.
“Madonna,” says the second nun, and she disappears, too.
“Sara Piplini,” says the third nun. “Who’s that?” asks St. Peter.
The nun hands him a newspaper clipping.
He reads and says, “I’m sorry, sister, but you’ve got it all wrong. It’s the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1,400 men in six months.”

Whatsapp Funny Jokes: Picture And Text Idea

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Boy Girl Funny Whatsapp Chat Jokes 17 February 2015

She: I love you.
Me: Me too.
She: Say the complete sentence.
Me: I love me too.
She: ...
Me: Hello?
*Blocked On Whatsapp*

Funny Student Story Jokes 15 February 2015

Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee.
The student struck a deal saying ' I would pay your fee the day i win my first case in the court'.
Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course.
When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, student reminded the deal and pushed days.
Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.
The teacher put forward his argument saying : " If i win this case, as per the court of law, student has to pay me.
And if i lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case.
So either way i will have to get the money ".
Equally brilliant student argued back saying : "If i win the case, as per the court of law,i don't have to pay anything to the teacher. And if i lose the case, i don't have to pay him because i haven't won my first case yet. So either way, i am not going to pay the teacher anything"

Hindi Non Veg Jokes: Santa Banta Again

Santa- Bibi se jhagda band hua kya?
Banta- Ghutno pe chalke aaye thi mere paas, ghutno pe!
Santa- Kya baat kar rahe ho? Tumhare bibi ne tumhare paas akar kya boli?
Banta- Boli bed ke niche se bahar ajao, ab nahin marungi !!

Funny Cricket Jokes: Whatsapp Messages

Jokes on cricket commentary.
Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidentally called the cricket stadium.
He asks, "How's the situation?"
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.
They said, "It's fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!"..:

How Retired People Do Fun: Funny Whatsapp Messages

Do you know how retired people do for fun. Read an example here!
The other day I went into town and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen an effin’break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a jerk. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a stupid pig. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 10 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. My bus arrived and I went home.

Whatsapp Messages Idea On Naughty Jokes 11 February 2015

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend?
GIRL: Nope. I don't want to have a
boyfriend.
BOY: Gen. 2:18 The Lord God
said, “It is not good
for the man to be alone. I will make a helper
suitable for him.”
GIRL: But I don't love you.
BOY: 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love does not
know God, because God is love."
GIRL: And how do I know you mean those words.
BOY: Matthew 12:34b " For out of the abundance
of the heart the mouth speaks."
GIRL: But how can I be sure that you're loyal and
honest?
BOY: Mark 13:31 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass
away."
GIRL: But why me? There
are a lot of girls out there.
BOY: Proverbs 31:29 "Many women do noble
things, but you surpass them all."
GIRL: But what is in me that you like?
BOY: Song of
Solomon 4:7
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is
no flaw in you."
GIRL: But I'm not
all that beautiful...you
're exaggerating.
BOY: Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised."
GIRL: What happens if I say yes.
BOY: Genesis 2:24 "Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh."
GIRL: How come you know the scriptures this
much
BOY: Joshua 1:8 " This book of the Law shall not
depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate
on it day and night, so that you may be careful to
do all that is written in it. For then you will make
your way prosperous and you will have good
success."
GIRL: wooow, I can see u really love God.
BOY: Psalm 34:8 "Oh, taste
and see that the Lord
is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in
Him.
GIRL: mmm. Ok please give me time to think
about it.
BOY: Philippians 4:8 "Finally
brethren,whatever is true, whatever is honourable,
whatever is just, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely,
whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about
these things."
GIRL: owwww I love
you already
BOY: Revelation 22:21b Amen

Santa Banta Non Veg Latest Hindi Jokes 10 February 2015

Banta ne Santa se pucha " Yaar tu kal ladki dekhne gaya tha? Ladki Pasand ayee? "
Ye sunke Santa ne pura kissa bayan kiya kuch yese:
Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se.
to khuda kasam hum madhosh ho gaye.
jab pata chala nazar parmanent tirchhi he
to hum khade-khade hi behosh ho gaye....

Ek Baar Santa Apni Biwi Ke Saath Jaa Raha Tha,
Raste Mein Usse Ek Dost Mila
Jisse Police Ne Pakda Hua Tha.
Santa Ne Usse Puchha: Kya Hua?
Dost: Mene Apni Biwi Ko Maar Dala
Santa Kuch Sochte Huye: Saza Kya Mili Hai?
Dost: 6 Hafte
Santa: Bass Yaar, 6 Hafte
Santa Ne Aav Dekha Na Taav Fatafatt
Police Ki Gun Lee Or Apni Biwi Ko Maar Dala
Dost Rote Hue: Abe Sale,
Yeh Tune Kya Kiya?
Puri Baat To Sunta,
6 Hafte Baad Muje Phaansi Hone wali he.

Santa ne Banta se puchha " Yar tu kal PK dekhne gaya tha, kyesi lagi picture? "
Banta- Aare yar kya bataoon PK dekhne gaya tha...
Ticket ka rate dekha to....
Pee ke aa gaya !!!!

Whatsapp Funny Messages: Toofani Hindi Jokes Collection

Some real funny toofani Hindi jokes from whatsapp group. you can share this jokes on your whatsapp friend and your group.

Husband was shocked
to read wife’s
Old school report card..
The comment written on report card…
Very obedient and
Soft Spoken student !!!

Toofani Girl and Her Boyfriend

ATTiTUDE ROCKZ :
Saas Bahu se:
Utth ja heroine
Dekh Suraj kabka nikal aaya hai..

Bahu: Relax, Mummy ji
Wo sota bhi to mujhse pehle hai na!!

THiNK Different ;-)

Good Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages 09 February 2015

Find this jokes last day on whatsapp hindi jokes group.

Ek pratisthit doctor sahab ek party mein gaye to logon ne unhe gher liya aur apni apni paresani batane lage ta ki free mein salah le sake.

Doctor sahab es baat se paresan ho gaye aur apni paresani usi party me aaye hue ek bakil ko bataya.

To bakil sahab ne kaha ki jo mein karta hoon aap wohi kijiye.

Doctor sahab ne pucha kya?

Bakil sahab ne kaha mujhe jo jahan par bhi salha mangta he me deta hoon aur baad mein unke ghar bill veg deta hoon.

Ye sunke doctor sahab khush ho gaye aur agle din apne ghar mein un logon ka bill banane lage jin logon ko unhone party me salah diya the.

Tabhi unka naukar ne aakar bataye ke " Bahar bakil sahab ka chaprashi aaya he aur kah raha ke ki kal raat bakil sahab ne aapko party mein jo salah di thi uska bill laya he."

Hindi Non Veg Jokes: Latest Whatsapp Funny Messages

Find the latest most funny Hindi jokes and non veg whatsapp messages.

Funny Taking Between Boy and Girl

• Jokes On 14 February in Hindi

She : any plans for 14 February?
He : 14 ko jaldi sounga, 15 ko India Pakistan match hai na..
She : tu single hi marega

• Non Veg Jokes In Hindi Font

ठाकुरसाहब के यहाँ कोई मिलने आया तो ठाकुरसाहब अन्दर से बन्दूक निकाल के लाए................
और हवा में दो फायर कर दिए................
.
.
मिलने वाला भौचक्का सा देखता रहा...........
फिर पूछा भाईसाहब ये फायर किस लिए............
ठाकुर साहब ने कहा घबड़ाओ मत............
चाय वाले को 2 चाय बोली है..........!!

Friendship Funny Taking Jokes

Friend1:कहां रहता है आजकल?
Friend2:औकात में!
Friend1:तो वहां क्यों नहीं चला जाता?
Friend2:कहां?
Friend1:भाड़ में !

Cricket Jokes: Whatsapp Funny Messages

some one liner whatsapp funny jokes messages on cricket.

The two rival cricketers were talking. 'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'
'Well, you're just the man for the job.'

The two clubmen were talking. 'So you had a hard time explaining the cricket game to your wife, eh?'
'I certainly did. She found out I wasn't there.'

Boss: 'Now on the way to Smith and Sons, you pass the cricket field, so...'
Office boy (hopefully): 'Yes, sir?'
Boss: 'So just pass it.'

There's a man in Croydon who claims to have invented a game that in certain respects is a bit like cricket.
What he doesn't know is that the England team has been playing it for years.

Whatsapp Funny Messages: Non Veg Best Jokes Ever

Collection of some funny whatsapp messages for your friend. latest Hindi non veg jokes and fadu jokes also you can find here.

Some Short non veg jokes

Lawyer to Santa: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Santa: "Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"

Teacher- Children exams are coming soon.So if you have any doubt you can ask me..
Santa- In which printing press the question paper is printed?

The girl asked to the boy, “Are you sure you love me and no one else?”
The boy replied, “Dead sure, I have checked the whole list again yesterday.”

Non Veg Jokes: Funny Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages

Read the latest collection of funny non veg jokes in Hindi. whatsapp messages idea for your friend. make your friend time good by sending a nice whatsapp messages which must have some funny staff.

Non Veg Jokes In Hindi
ग़ालिब ने अर्ज किया है
बेगम ये जो तुम चूदाई के वक्त पाद
देती हो.......💭
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.
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कोई बिमारी है या चूदाई की दाद देती हो

funny whatsapp messages
चाइनीज़ माल..
एक बार सन्ता बिज़नेस के सिलसिले में चीन गया।
वहाँ उसने एक चाइनीज़ एक्स-रे चश्मा खरीदा जिससे कोई भी इंसान नंगा देखता है...
दुकानदार ने कहा- चश्मा लगा कर मुझे देखो...
सन्ता ने देखा, उसे दुकानदार नंगा दिखाई दिया...
फिर उसने चश्मा हटा कर देखा तो दुकानदार कपड़े पहने हुए दिखा...
सन्ता बहुत खुश हुआ।
सन्ता ने फ्लाइट पकड़ी भारत आने के लिए...
जहाज़ में सबको, लड़कियों, एयरहोस्टैस आदि को चश्मा लगा कर देखा.. खुश हुआ... सब नंगे दिखे....
भारत पहुँचा... टैक्सी ले ली घर तक जाने क लिए...
टैक्सी वाले को भी देखा चश्मे से ... वो भी नंगा दिखा... सन्ता बड़ा खुश हुआ...
चश्मा लगाए हुए ही घर पहुँचा... उसकी बीवी और नौकर दोनों नंगे बेड पर सोए थे...
चश्मा निकालकर देखा... अभी भी दोनों नंगे ही थे..
चश्मा लगा कर फिर देखा... दोनों नंगे थे...चश्मा हटा कर देखा.. दोनों नंगे ही दिखे...
सन्ता भड़क गया.... बोला- यही तो प्राब्लम है... चाईना का माल तो 2 दिन भी नहीं चलता... साला खराब हो गया !

Superb Funny Whatsapp Jokes: Murga Vs Murgi

murga - I love you.
murgi - ha ha
murga - me tere liye
kuch bhi kar sakta
hu
murgi - sach me ..!
murga - Ha kuch bhi
jo kahogi
murgi - Batau
.
.
.
.
.
Batau......
.
.
.
.
.
Chal Ande de

Superb Naughty Whatsapp Picture And Text Messages Idea 04 February 2015

Latest funny picture and whatsapp text messages collection. Make a naughty txt to your friend whtsapp.
Girl : Aapko mobile
bahut acha
hain
Boy : Race compitition
me jeeta
hain
Girl : Wao..... Kitne
log the Race
compitition me
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
Boy : 3 pulish baale
1 shop baala
or main.

एक लड़के के पास यमराज जी
उसको लगे के लिए आये
युराज - मै तुम्हे लेने आया हू
तुम्हारा नाम मेरी लिस्ट मे
पहले है
लड़का - पर मै इसमे कभी
तैयार नही हू
क्यो न जाने से पहले एक चाय ही जाये
यमराज जी - ठीक है
लड़का चाय
बनाकर लाया और उसमे
उसमे नीदं की गोली मिला दी
युमराज जी चाय पीकर सो गये
लडके ने फायदा उठाकर
अपना नाम ऊपर से
नीचे लिख दिया
जब यमराज जी उठे तो
बोले-
तुमने मेरा बहुत ख्याल रखा है इसलिए
मै ये लिस्ट निचे न चालू करुगा
इसलिए
गीता मे भगवान श्री कृष्णा ने लिखा है
तू चाहते लाख प्रयत्न कर
चाह लाख चाहे
होगा वही जो मै चाहता हू
आई विस यू
कि आपकी सारी बुराई इस
पुरानी साल ने ही रह जाये
और
नयी साल एक खुशियो से भरा नया सवेरा लेकर आये
->जय श्री कृष्णा

Girl : Es Dress ka
kya prica hai ?
Shopkeepar : Sirf
3 kiss
Girl : Aur us dress ka ?
Shopkeeper : Sirf 10 kiss :
>
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.
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Girl : Dono Dress
Pack kar
Do Bill Dadi Dengi
Girls Rock

12 Most Funny Whatsapp Picture Messages Send To Your Friend

This is the collection of most funny picture messages found on whatsapp. weirdest jokes for whatsapp, collect great staff from here, which you need to send onto your friend.

Funny Chat On Whatsapp

A Bullet Kill Him Funny Jokes Whatsapp Messages 02 February 2015

Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

Best Non Veg Jokes Hindi Whatsapp Messages 01 Febuary 2015

Collection of the worst Hindi non veg jokes found on last january month. Make a funny Whatsapp jokes messages to your friend from here.

Whatsapp Funny Messages:
एक चीता सिगरेट का कश लगाने ही वाला था कि अचानक चूहा वहा आया और
बोला"भाई छोड दो नशा आयो मरे
साथ
देखो जंगल कितना खूबसूरत है
चीता चूहे के साथ चल दिया
आगे हाथी कोकीन ले रहा था
चूहा फिर बोला भाई छोड दो नशा आओ मेरे साथ देखो जंगल कितना खूबसूरत
है ।
हाथी भी चल दिया
आगे शेर वहिस्की पीने की तैयारी कर रहा था चूहे ने उसे भी वहि कहा शेर ने ग्लास साइड पर रखा और चूहे को जोरदार तमाचा मारा
हाथी बोला" अरे क्यो मार रहे हो
इस बेचारे को
शेर बोला" ये साला रोज भा'ग पीके ऐसे ही सबको पूरी रात जंगल घुमाता है ।

Whatsapp Funny Messages:
एक 18 साल का लड़का ट्रेन से अपने पिता के साथ घर जा रहा था
अचानक वो जोर से चिल्लाया
"पिताजी वो देखा पेड़ हमारे साथ-साथ चल रहे है"
उसके पिता ने प्यार से उसके सिर पे हाथ फिराया
कुछ देर बाद फिर जोर से चिल्लाया
"पिताजी वो देखो आसमान भी हमारे साथ-साथ चल रहा है"
उसे पिता की आँखो मे आँसू आ गये
पास बैठा आदमी ये सब
देख रहा था
उस कहा
"आपका लड़का इतना बढा होकर भी बच्चो जैसी हरकस करता है
आप इसका इलाज किसी अच्छे डाक्टर से क्यो नही करवाते
उससे पिताजी ने कहा-
हम डाक्टर के पास से आ रहे है
दरअसल मेरा बेटा जन्म से ही अँधा था आज ही उसे नई आँखे मिली है ।


Whatsapp Funny Messages:
Husband Suhaag Raat Wale Din Apni Wife Se Poochta Hai.
Husband: “Abb Tak Kitne mardo k Saath Soi Ho Sach Batana?”
.
Wife: “Sach Keh Rahi Hu, Sirf Aap Ke Saath Soi Hu
.
.
Baaki Sab Haraamzade To Sone Hi Nahi Dete The..

Whatsapp Funny Messages On Husband Wife Non Veg Jokes

Wife:"Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .
Husband:"Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,
Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .
Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..
fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao...
.
Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .
Husbnd:"Kya hua.. ??
.
.
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Wife: "maa bahen ek hogayi..... BC Daal hi gir gai .