Whatsapp Non Veg Jokes Messages In Hindi 01 Jan 2015

Ladka-Ladki Car Mein Raat Ko
Ghumne Jaa Rahe The
Ladki: “ Aaj Main Tumhe Wo
Jagah Dikhaungi, Jahaan Se
Mera Doodh Aata Hai”
Ladka Ye Sunkar Bahut Khush
Hua Aur Tharaki Andaaz Mein
Bola.
Ladka: “Haan-Haan Jaldi
Dikhao, Jaanu”
Ladki Muskurati Hue Boli: “
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Wo Dekho Krishna Dairy “
hahahah sudhar jao har post
non veg nhi hota lol... gud mg

Honeymoon Couple Story Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes 31 Dec 2014

Honeymoon Pe Ghoomne Gaya Ek Couple..
Market Mein Ghoomte Huye Pati Bola..
"Jaaneman,Bhookh Nahi Lagi,To Thoda Juice Lo.."
"Aur Fir Hotel Mein Jaa Ke Mera L*da Choos Lo !!"
Biwi Boli..
"Aaj Sone Ki Khwaish Nahin,Mat Kehna So Le So Le.."
"Poori Raat Mere Dabate Rehna Tum Haule Haule !!"
"Phoolon Ki Bichhaenge Aaj Hum Bed Pe Sej.."
"Aur Fir Tum Meri Lena Khoob Tej Tej !!"
Pati Bola..
"Kya Baat Keh Di,Mera L*da Abhi Se Khada Hai.."
"Tumne Abhi Theek Se Dekha Hi Kahan Hai Ki Ye Kitna Bada Hai !!"
"Jaldi Chalo,Jaldi Chalo,Neki Aur Poochh Poochh..
L*de Mein To Abhi Se Hone Laga Hai Kuchh Kuchh !!"
"Main To Teri Yahin Le Leta,Kyonki Pant Mein Tent Bana Hai..
Lekin Kya Karoon,Restaurant Mein Lena Mana Hai !!"
"Chalo Chalein Apne Bedroom.."
"Wahan Machayenge Jum Ke Dhoom !!"
"Aaj Main Apne Lu*d Ko Tumhari Garam Ch**t Mein Doonga.."
Aaj To Main Saari Raat,Teri Keh Keh Ke Loonga,Teri Reh Reh Ke Loonga !!!!"

Job At The Zoo Funny English Jokes Whatsapp Messages 30 Dec 2014

Read the most funny English jokes, whatsapp messages and latest funny messages idea for whatsapp.

An unemployed guy got a new job  at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla's akin and pretend to be a gorrila so people Will keep coming to the zoo.
On his first day on the job , the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people DLL cheer to see him. He starts really putting  on a show , jumping around , beating his chest and roaring.
During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming," help, help!"
The lion races over to him , places his pawas on his chest and hisses ," Shut up or we'll  Both lose our jobs!"...

Watching TV Funny Hindi Non Veg Jokes 29 Dec 2014

When watching tv with parents....
Utv movies- jism 2
B4U - murder
Set max- dirty picture
ZEE - ragini mms...
Advertisements..
-Sunny leone's Manforce
-wildstone deo woo women
-sexy girl advertising for garments
....................................
Me when watching tv alone...
UTV movies- Ghar sansar...
Set max- sooryavansham
Zee-Vivah
B4U- Hum aapke hain kaun...
Advertisement
-champa agarbatti
-prestige cooker
-surya bulbs.

Funny English Jokes Whatsapp Messages 29 Dec 2014

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
" You. Aren't so good in bad either!" He shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings , his wife picked up the phone.
" What took you so long to answe"" I was in bad."
" What were you doing in bed this late?"
" Getting a second opinion ."

" Isn't the principal a dummy !" Said a boy to a girl.  " say , do you know who I am?"asked the girl.
" No ".
" I'm the principal's daughter."
" And do you know who I am?" Asked the boy.
" No," she replied .
" Thanks goodness!"...

Employer to applicant : " in this job we need  someone who is responsible.". Applicant :" I'm the one you want. On my last  job, every time anything wen wrong, they said I was responsible"..

Clean Funny English Jokes To Text On Whatsapp Friend

Sent some funny clean jokes to your friends whatsapp. here are very funny jokes for you.

A politice to a woman ," You look beautiful today ."
The woman replied," Thanks, but unfortunately I can not say the same about you."." Sure you could,"said the political man, " if you could lie as well as I do."...

" Mary ," asked dawn thoughtfully  one day ," what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman ?"." Another woman with my husband ?" Marry thought t ovet. Let's see ; I'd break her cane , shoot her guide dog , and call a cab to take her back to the  institution she escaped from ."...

Love is like cigar .it starts with fire.
Continues with smoke ...  And ends with s smoke.
" But don't worry we are chain smokers."

Dilbert :- What are you writing?
Dogbert :- A new self - help book for compulsive shoppers.
Dilbert :- What do you known about compulsive shoppers?
Dogbert :- I known they buy a lot of books...

Single Once Again Funny Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages

Give me some SunShine..!!!

Give me some Rain..!!

Give me another Girlfriend..!!

I am Single once again..!!

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Messages On Law Of Love

1st Law Of Love:
A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy.

2nd Law Of Love:
The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance.

3rd Law Of Love:
The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping.

Non Veg Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages 25 Dec 2014

Mother = Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter = Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.
Necklace
======
Girl = Main jab bhi apne pados wale ladke ko dekhti hoon, meri bra tight ho jati hai.
Maa Boli = "Kal se bra hi mat pehan, uski pant tight ho jayegi!!"
Girl Boy
======
Girl = Ab bas bhi kro raat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subh k 5:30 baj chuke hai,
thake nahin..?
Boy = Abhi to kuch bhi nahin kiya ab to din raat karunga.
Kyunki mere 3000 msg jo free hai….
Chat
======
Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,
“ In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha, ab kya handset bhi le jayege"..
Connection

25 Christmas Delicious Jokes For Whatsapp Messages 24 Dec 2014

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

He got 25 days!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

What do Santa’s elves drink?
Minnesoda.

What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.

What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.

What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy Claws.

Where does the snowman hide his money?
In the snow bank.

What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
Holly Davidson.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you call an elf who sings?
A Wrapper!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Crispies.

A wonderful Christmas song told me to Deck The Halls....so I did. Mr. and Mrs Hall were not very happy.

Don't you hate that awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents!

Whatsapp Online Funny Jokes Messages: Main Phansa Li

maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li..
Friend : Woh kaisey?
Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka.
Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne
phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari.”

Funny Hindi Whatsapp Messages: How To Irritate Someone

A funny whatsapp messages on  irritating someone:"
Boy:" pen hai ??
Girl:" nahi..
Thodi der baad..
Boy:" pen hai ??
Girl:" nahi bola na..
Boy:" pen hai pen ??
Girl:" nahi hai kaminey, aur abki
bar pucha
to
to hathode se sar phod dungi
Kuch der baad...
Boy:" hathoda hai kya..???
Girl:" nahi..
Boy:" accha.. to phir pen hai
pen..???...

Read More:

Sardar Ji Jokes
Santa Banta Jokes

Little Jokes On Whatsapp In Hindi 21 Dec 2014

Aaj subah NEWSPAPER me
padha ki,
whatsapp me sabse jyada
time waste hota hai..
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TO AAJ SE
.
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.
"NEWSPAPER" BAND saala
personal baat par ungli uthata hai....

Bachpan Aur Aaj Superb Funny Whatsapp Messages 20 Dec 2014

Bachpan mein hum waha sona pasand karte the
jahan se chand tare nazar aate the
AUR aaj waha jahan

.

charger ki pin lag sake.
Sahi hai ki nahi ???

It you like this jokes, share with your whatsapp friend. and make more fun.

Killer Whatsapp Non Veg Jokes Messages 19 Dec 2014

Boy- Tumhari car kaisi chal rahi hai?
Girl - Theek chal rahi hai.
Boy- aaj sham ko dogi kya?
Girl- Haan le lena but ye to batao car ke bare mei kyu pooch rahe they???
:) :):):):):):):)
Husband- मौसम कितना सुहाना है. तुम्हें कुछ महसूस हो रहा है?
Wife- हो रहा है.
Husband- क्या?
Wife- आज फिर देनी पड़ेगी

White Color Ki Comdom: Santa Non Veg Hindi Jokes

nonveg sms in hindi, santa banta nonveg sms
Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

Santa On Heaven Non Veg Whatsapp Hindi Jokes 08 Dec 2014

Santa died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days a week that begin with `T', and
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa thought for a few minutes and
answered…

1 The two days that begin with `T' are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are twelve seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said,`OK, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow,
even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?'

Santa replied , `Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc…

Saint Peter let him in without another word.

Lungle Le Gaye: Adult Non Veg Hindi Jokes For Girlfriend Whatsapp

A funny whatsapp messages on Hindi non veg jokes
Ladka ladki ko pataa ke car
mein jungle le gaya.
Ladke ne
sex karna shuru kiya toh
ladki boli:
"Mein bataana bhool gayi ki
mein Prostitute hun aur ek
baar ke 500 leti hun." Ladke ne majboori mein paise
diye aur thoka. Thokne ke
baad ladka cigarette peene
laga.
Ladki- chalo na wapas nahi
jaana kya?
"Ladka-Mein bataana bhool
gaya tha ki mein Taxi Driver
hun aur yaha se shahar ke 800 leta hun."
Moral-thokne se pahle bhale
boys lund se sochte hain par thokne k baad dimaag se hi
kaam lete hain..!!

A Funny Whats app Christmas Jokes Messages 15 Dec 2014

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the fuck off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train."
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours and think about what you've done.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you pissed about the two hour delay, please see the cunt in the kitchen!”

4 Bad Hindi Non Veg Jokes Found On Whatsapp Messages

jokes: 01
Adam[man] and Eve[woman] were the first
human beings in the world
one fine day eve asked Adam' do you love
me'
Adam said 'do i have another choice'

jokes: 02
Muskuraana chor k jindagi yu kaam nhi degi,
Dil ka dard yu sawaar nhi degi,
Yakin na ho to aajmaa k dekh lo,
Ek thokar k baad jindagi saath chor nhi degi

jokes: 03
Relationship Status : Your 'Last seen at..' Doesn't
bother me anymore.

jokes: 04
Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important
that you have it, but not necessary that you show it
off.

Biwi ke BASME Non Veg Hindi Jokes

k Aadmi ne conductor se pucha: Aap kitne
ghante bus me rehte ho ?
Conductor: 24 hours.
Aadmi: Wo kaise?
Conductor: 8 ghante city bus me, Baaki 16 ghante
biwi ke "BASME".!

Husband Wife Hindi Adult Jokes: Change Position Tonight

Wife: Hey, you wanna change
positions tonight?
Husband: Sure honey!
Wife: Ok then, you do the
dishes and ill sit on the couch
holding the remote and farting.

Superb Offensive Hindi Non Veg Jokes

Ladkiyo Ki Jab Shaadi Hoti Hain Toh Unki
Saheli Kiya Kehti Hain:
1980's: Gabrana Mat, Woh Jo Kare Karne
Dena..
@
2011: Jor Se Chillana Taki Usko Lage Ke Seal
Usne He Todi Hain..!
=================
Sex Ke Baad Ladki Ka Pehla Shabd Kiya Hota
Hain.?
#
I Love You.? Wrong !
#
Mazza Aaya.? Wrong !
#
How Romantic.? Wrong !
#
##
KUTTE.. Chaddi Kidhar Fek Di..!

Very Bad English Offensive Jokes Whatsapp Messages

A ship wrecks onto a deserted island. Two guys and a girl survive. Since they don't have anything to do all day besides eating and sleeping, they just have sex. Eventually the girl gets sick and dies. The two men don't know what to do with themselves anymore so they keep having sex. After a few days of sex, they feel guilty about what they've been doing....so they bury her.

Non Veg Hindi Jokes: Cricket Aur Toilet Main Kya Common

Cricket aur Toilet main kya
common hai...? Socho.... Aur
socho.... Guess to karo....
Wahan bhi Dhoni hai... Aur
Yahan bhi Dhoni hai...!!

The cricket kid, funny picture on cricket

Ms dhoni funny cricket photo

I remember a talk by Harsha Bhogle on tlneat vs Attitude in cricket where he compared vinod kambli (talent) to sachin (attitude).Personally I too will give a heads up to attitude as compared to tlneat since the previous ensures growth while the later determines your present capabilities with no high light of how you attained it.

Funny Pappu Jokes In Hindi: Non Veg Night

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye raat ko bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched
MORAL : aap bhi apna dimaag pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain

jokes humor

Crorepati Pati Funny Whatsapp Hindi Jokes 06 Dec 2014

Two A&B girls are traveling in a train:

A: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
B: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

A: Crorepati na miley to?
B: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.

A: 50 lakh ke na miley to?
B: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge.

UPPER SOYA PASSENGER:
JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AA JaYE TO MUJHE UTHA DENA..!=D

Non Veg Hindi Adult Jokes For Whatsapp Messages

College girl at fee counter: sir pehle meri lelo
SIR: Thora ruko aram se longa
Girl: Jaldi le lo phr nhi de paongi q k phr mere period start ho jain gay

Ghar Par Akeli Non Veg Hindi Jokes Whatsapp Messages

Ek Aurat Ghar Par Akeli Thi Tabhi Darwaje Par Dastak Hui.
Usne Darwaja Khola To Ek Admi Khada Tha, Darwaja Kholte Hi Bola
Aadmi: “Tumhare Paas Choot Hai Kya”
Aurat Gabra Kar Dawaja Band Kar Deti Hai.
Agle Do Din Bhi Yahi Kram Chla To Aurat Ne Akhir Tang Aakar Ye Baat Apne Pati Ko Batai.
Pati Bola: “Chinta Mat Karo Aaj Jab Wo Aayega To Main Ghar Par Hi Hounga Aur Darwaje Ke Piche Khada Rahunga. Tum Use Bole Dena Ki Tumhare Paas Choot Hai”
Shaam Ko Jaisi Hi Wo Admi Aaya To Pati Darwaje Ke Pichhe Chhip Gaya.
Patni Ne Darwwaja Khola To Admi Bola: ” Tumare Paas Choot Hai Kya?”
Aurat Boli: “Haan, Mere Paas Choot Hai”
Aadmi Hath Jod Kar Bola: “Hai To Apne Pati Ko Kyun Nahi Deti ?, Woh Sala Meri Biwi Ki Choot Ke Pichhe Kyo Pada Hua Hai?“

A most funny whatsapp picture messages for sent to your girlfriend

Hindi Naughty Non Veg Jokes - Funny Whatsapp Messages Making Idea

Get the most funny Hindi jokes and using this jokes make a funny whatsapp messages to your friend.

Non Veg Jokes On Pados Wale Uncle

Mujhe Aaj Bhi Woh Pados Wale Uncle Yaad Hain Jo Mujh Se Kehte Thy Ke Lollipop Chahiye Toh Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Daal Ke Khud He Nikaal Lo..

Aur Jab Main Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Dalti Toh Kitni Der Tak Lollipop Pakad Kar Khichti Magar Uncle Ne Itni Kas Ke Lollipop Bandha Huwa Hota Tha Ke Uski Cheeni Pighal Ke Mere Haath Main Lag Jaati..

Magar Kabhi Bhi Lollipop Nahin Nikaal Saki..

Veena Malik Ki Kitab"Mera Bachpan Meri Shararatien"LOLLI POP"..!

Funny Whatsapp Chat

Delicious Non Veg Hindi Jokes - 18+ Only

Non Veg Hindi Funny Jokes Messages For Your Friend.

1 totla texi driver 3 girls ko le k jaa rha tha.
Policeman: lrkiyon ko le k kahan jaa rhe ho?
Totla: chodne!
Policeman: kya bakwas ki?
Totla: o g 1 ko park m chodna he or 1 ko agle stop pe chodna he.
Itne m tesri larki cheekhti he
kya bakwas kar rahe ho?
Totla: tum khamosh rho warna tumhe yaheen chod doon gaa.

New Hindi Funny 18+ Jokes.

Teacher Asked Dhondu:
Agr ped par 5 birds bethi ho, aur tum 1 ko goli maar do to kitni bach gayi?
Dhondu : Koi nahi, sab udd jayengi.
Teacher: Nahi, 4 bachengi, lekin tumhari soch mujhe pasand aayi.
.
.
Dhondu : Madam mera bhi 1 sawal Hai.
3 ladies ice cream kha rahi Hain.
1 chaat kar,
1 kat kar
aur
1 choos kar
.
batao konsi shadi shuda Hai?
.
.
Teacher sharmate hue:Jo choos rahi Hai.
.
Dhondu : Nahi,jis k gale me mangalsutra hai,
lekin
apki soch mujhe pasand Aayi..

latest Whatsapp Funny Messages.

Ladies Hostel se ek aurat ne bijli walo k office phone kiya.
aur complain ki:
Aaj to koi aadmi bhej do,
Ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kam chala rahi hain.

Non Veg Hindi 18+ Jokes: Whatsapp Funny Messages Collection

Latest funny whatsapp messages on Hindi non veg 18+ jokes.

Teacher Student Se: “Duniya Main Sab Se Halki Cheez Kaunsi Hai”
Johny: “Madam Ji L#nd”
Teacher: “Woh Kaise?”
Johny: “Jo Sochne Bhar Se Hi Apne Aap Uth Jaaye Us Se Halka Or Kya Ho Sakta Hain.….”
Teacher Ne Socha Logic To Thik Hai. Usne Next Question Puchha
“Duniya Ki Sabse Bari Cheez Kaunsi Hai”
Johny Fir Bola: “Ji L#nd”
Madam Hairan Hokar Boli: “Esa Kese Ki Halka Bhi Vo Aur Bhari Bhi Vo”
Johny: “Madam Ji Ek Bar Agar Ye Sex Kar Le To Fir Duniya Ki Koi Crane Bhi Ise Khada Nahi Kar Sakti“fir ye apni maji se he khada hota hai,,,,,,,,