Superb Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

 Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!"

"How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car.....

Hindi Jokes For Whatsapp on 31 Mar 2014

Doctor aur Lady ki Sararat
Doctor to Lady - Aap Jorse Sans lijiye.
Lambi or lambi or tabhi
KHATAK se awaaz aayi...
Doctor - Lagta hai apke gale main Fracture hai.
Lady - Chup chutiye, meri BRA ka hook tut gaya hai...

Whatsapp Non veg Jokes Express - Not For Child

A girl comes to late in shool
Boys says: Chand taron ko neend aa rahi hain,teri ma ki chut tu ab aa rahi hain..
Girls says: Maa ki chut ka mat de wasta,kholti hun Bra chal kar le nasta.
===========
11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 banana.
Fruit seller m not selling less than 12 bananas.
1girl said 'le le yaar,1 kha lenge.

Whatsapp English Jokes Message - Barmaid is indeed pissed

Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants.

"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits," he says.

"You dirty bastard!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband."

The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.

"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off."

She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!"

Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it again.

"One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now, what do you want?"

"I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off and fill your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup."

The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the TV.

"What's up love?" he asks.

"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off," she says.

"I'll kill him.. How dare he?" storms the husband.

"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off," she screams.

"Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching for a baseball bat.

"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny with Guinness and then drink it all," she cries!

The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the TV back on.

"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.

"Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can drink 15 pints of Guinness…"

Funny Whatsapp Jokes: English Jokes Message

Once a boy went to the store. He'd had speaking problems all his life, so the things he said didn't always turn out right.

He went to the bakery first. He went up to the baker and said, "Can I have a bum?"
"You mean a bun?" the baker asked.
"Yes, a bum." The boy took the bun and left.

He went to the hardware store next. He went up to the salesperson and said, "Can I have a fuckit?"
"You mean a bucket?" the salesperson asked.
"Yes, a fuckit." The boy took the bucket and left.

Then he went to the pet store. He went up to the pet store owner and said, "Can I have a cockinspankit?"
"You mean a cocker spaniel?" the pet store owner asked.
"Yes, a cockinspankit." He took the cocker spaniel and left.

But then his cocker spaniel ran away. The boy went up to a policeman and said, "Please, sir, can you hold my bum and fuckit so I can grab my cockinspankit?"

A Women Jokes Message From Whatsapp

A woman was reading a newspaper when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it and saw a homeless guy standing there.
He asked if he could spend a night or two there, and the woman said he could, as long as he didn't mess anything up.

That night, the hobo looked around for something he could use as a blanket, and then he saw a clothesline outside the barn. He pulled a skirt off the clothesline and was about to head inside the barn when the woman ran outside.

"Don't take my skirt in the barn!" she yelled.
The hobo muttered an apology and put the skirt back.

He was trying to fall asleep but a donkey kept wandering into the barn and bothering him. He wanted it to go away so he slapped the donkey.

The woman ran back outside. "Don't slap my poor donkey! And don't do anything else like this either!"

He apologized and tried to go to sleep after that.

Then a cat walked into the barn and tried to curl up on his lap. It was a sweet cat, but he was allergic to cat fur, so he shaved the cat.

Before he knew it, the woman was outside again. "Okay. If you do anything else like that I'm calling the police!"

He apologized again and tried to fall asleep. But he couldn't because a couple owls kept making noise. He tried to ignore it but could not, so he went outside, grabbed both of the owls, and squeezed them. The owls were surprised and quickly flew away.

The woman ran outside again. "Okay, that's it. You're leaving!"

She grabbed her phone and dialed 911. "911! Please help! A hobo pulled my skirt down, slapped my ass, shaved my pussy, and squeezed my hooters!"

English Whatsapp Sexy Jokes - Little Johnny

Little Johnny walked into school one day carrying his pet cat.

"Johnny, why do you have that cat with you?" the teacher asked.

Johnny began crying and said, "My daddy told my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy as soon as Johnny leaves for school!'

Whatsapp Jokes Message - Little April

Little April wasn't the best in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day, the teacher called on her while she was taking a nap. "April, who created the universe?"
When she didn't stir, Little Johnny, who sat behind her, jabbed her in the rear with a pin.
"Oh God!!" she yelled.
"Correct, April!" said the teacher.

Later, the teacher called on her again. "Now, April, who is our Lord and Savior?"
She was asleep still, so once again Little Johnny jabbed her in the rear with a pin.
She immediately sat up and shouted, "Jesus Christ!!"
"That's correct, April."

Near the end of the class, the teacher asked her: "April, what did Eve say to Adam after she gave birth to their 23rd child?"
Again, she had nodded off, so Johnny poked her with the pin once more.

April jumped in the air and yelled, "If you stick that fucking thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!!!"

The teacher fainted.

Whatsapp Message Jokes On 24 Mar, 2014

A man's wife was dying. He was sitting by her bedside and holding her hand, and then in a tired voice she said, "There's something I must confess before I die."

"No, there's nothing to confess," the husband murmured.

"Please. I need to tell you . . . I had sex with your best friend and your brother and then your brother's best friend and your father."

"I know, honey," the husband said. "That's why I poisoned you.
Now just shut your eyes already!"

Santa Banta Whatsapp Chatting Jokes

Banta Singh walks into a bar in Ludhiana & orders three glasses of Beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada, and I'm here in Ludhiana. When they left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the sameway. He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then alight dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .

"Only thing is ---- I just quit drinking"!!!!!!


 Sardars Are Not Stupid Convention

80,000 sardars meet at the Punjab capital for a "Sardars Are Not Stupid Convention�.
Banta Singh, the president of wise sardar & CO. says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that sardars are not stupid. Can I have a volenteer?"
One sardar (Santa Singh) steps up.
Banta asks him,"What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen."
Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
Banta says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance.� So he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds, santa eventually says, "Ninety?"
Banta sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the sardars starts crying "Give him another chance, give him another chance.�
Banta, unsure whether he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"
Santa closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four.�
Around the stadium 80,000 sardars start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

Whatsapp Message: Non Veg Hindi Jokes Message

3 kaale dost...........ek sath ja rahe the.?

Raste me ek pari milti hai,?
Pari- "ek-ek wish batao main poori karugi."
1st.-"Mujhe gora aur khubsurat kardo." Pari ne kar dia. ?
2nd- "mujhe bhi aisa kar do." Pari ne kar diya. ?

3rd zor zor se hasne laga or phir bola........????
" Inko wapas pehle jaisa kardo......????

Moral- Har ek Friend kamina hota hai....

dedicated to all kamine friends..

Superb Funny Hindi Jokes On Whatsapp Ever, 21 Mar, 2014

Facebook - 3 Idiots Style:

Rancho: *Smiling*

Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho?

Rancho: Bahot dino se Facebook me account banane ki ichha thi...aaj bana diya hai...bohot maza aa raha hai.

Teacher: Zyaada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai...
Tell me, what is a Post?

Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is a Post, Sir.

Teacher: Can you please elaborate?

Rancho: Sir...jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai post hai sir...
Ghumne gaye...photo daal diya! Post hai Sir.
Match dekha, score daal diya!
Post hai Sir...
Sir actually hum posts se ghire hue hai sir!
Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick
tak! Sab post hai sir!
Ek second me comment, ek second me like!
Comment-Like...
Comment-Like...

Teacher: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge?
Comment-Like... Comment-Like...?

Haan Chatur, tum batao.
Chatur: Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating systems using internet on Facebook is called a Post...

Teacher: Excellent!

Rancho: Par sir maine bhi toh wahi
bola seedhe shabdo mein...

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh orkut ya twitter ke pages pe account banao... :@

Rancho: Par sir dusre sites bhi toh...

Teacher: Get out!

Rancho: Why sir?

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me bahar
jaiye.

Rancho goes out and comes back.

Teacher: Kya hua?

Rancho: Kuch bhool gaya tha sir.

Teacher: Kya?

Rancho: A utility button given to us, to protect our private data i.e. pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else...

Teacher: Arre, kehna kya chaahte ho!?!?

Rancho: Logout sir! Logout karna bhool gaya tha.

Teacher: Toh seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?!

Rancho: Thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir,
Aapko pasand nahi aaya...

Nice Reply by Sardar Ji - A Funny Jokes From Whatsapp

 Nice Reply By Sardar ji

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

And WE thought Sardars were dumb !

Jokes From Whatsapp: Sardar Borrow Phone Book From library

A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said::::
 "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I ve ever read.
There was no story what so ever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

funny arrow

Whatsapp Adult Jokes Message In English

Sardar & American traveling by air.
Suddenly the engines stopped.They had no parachutes & so they jumped out.
First,Sardar jumped.
He removed his turban,used it as a parachute & slowly floated down.
Seeing this,American removed his shirt & jumped but shirt did not do well & he began to fall rapidly.
The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him & said - "I see! U want a race! Let us see who is faster" & he let go of his turban.

Whatsapp Funny Jokes: Santa Want Top Floor Hotel room

Santa checks in at Hotel with wife.
Santa: Mujhe top flor me room dena
Manager: Sir,Room 17,17th floor
Santa: Room ki khidki check ker lena.Khulti hai ya nahi.
Manager: Sir,aisa kya ho gaya?
Santa: Pichle saal main hotel mein tha,meri biwi mere se lad ker kood ker jaan dena chahti thi, lekin khidki khuli nahi.

Whatsapp Jokes Message Collection In Hindi - 17 Mar, 2014

Girlfriend And Boyfriend Doing Love Chat On Whatsapp

Girlfriend: “How Much Do You Love Me?”

Boyfriend: “I’d Take Bullet For You.”

Girlfriend: “Awwwww! Seriously?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, Enfield Bullet In Dowry.”



Ek Sadhu Gali Se Jaa Raha Tha Tabi Uspe BRA Aa Giri.
Sadhu- Hey Prabhu,
Ye Teri Kaisi Leela He,
Aam Koi aur Chooss Raha He aur Chilke Humpe fek Raha He.?

Whatsapp Relationship Status

"Single" relationship status,
doesnt always mean that u r alone...
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sometimes it means-
" family members are in my friend list"

Jokes Message Collection Form Whatsapp

1000+ Very funny jokes message collection from whatsapp. update daily some really funny jokes. this is the home of fun staff of whatsapp. you can find daily whatsapp update, message, status and more.

Jokes Message On Whatsapp - Doctor Ka Pehla Operation

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient(ghabrate huye): Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: daro mat...
yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

Very Dasing jokes Message on Whatsapp Based On - Do Dost In Jail

Do dost aapas mein baat kar rahe the...
pehla dost : yaar Jail ko “Hawalaat” kyu kehte hy..?
.
.

dousra dost: Kyu k jail me khane ma sirf
“Hawa” ur “Laat” hi milti hy----- haahaahaa

Papa Ki Shadi Whatsapp Jokes Message

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar ke ghar me hi mamla salta liya...

Whatsapp Jokes SMS Message In Hindi

Collection of adult sms message on whatsapp on last night. so many whatsapp friend send me jokes sms every day, here i share some sms with you.

Whatsapp SMS Message on Budha Ka Ghanti bajai Chota Baccha

Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!

Funny Whatsapp SMS Jokes On Cinema Hall pe Santa With A Bangal

Cinema hall Me Santa Ke Bagal Me Baithi 2 Aurate Lagatar Apas Me Baate Kiye Ja Rahi Thi. Thodi Der Tak To Santa Sabra Kiye Baitha Raha Lekin Fir Junjalaa Kar Bola- “Maaf Kijiyega, Mujhe Apki Baatchit Ke Chalte Film ka Koi Dialogue Sunaai Nahi Pad Rahait Hai. Aap…..”
“To Hum bhi Kaha Aap ko suna Rahe Hai, Hamari Private Batchit chal Rahi Hai.”
Unme Se 1 Aurat Ne Munh Banaate Huye Kaha.

Boy Girl Ka Super Funny Whatsapp SMS Message

BOY: mujhse shaadi karogi?

GIRL: kyaaa?

BOY: achhi film hai na....

GIRL: kuttee ke bachhe....

BOY: what?

GIRL: kitne cute hote hai na

Whatsapp Sexy Message Jokes: Only 18+ In Hindi

 Pappu meets Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe jaate!


Teacher: What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives?
Pappu: Daddy.

Banta to his wife, Preeto: Dear, you are the best woman in the world. Yesterday I got convinced of this once again.

Santa: Main ghar jaate hi biwi ki panty utar dunga.
Banta: Yaar tu to bahut mood mein lag raha hai.
Santa: Nahi yaar mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai.

A man phoned & asked: Hello, is it 221714?
Jeeto: Hindi me bolo.
Mano-Do-Ek-Sat ****a?
Jeeto: Nahi Sir, Teen-Teen-Ek-Sat ****a, 331714.

In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message - The Maxican Wife

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria,
why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."
"The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

Wife: "Oh yeah?"

Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"

Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sexx than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.

Wife: "And did my husband say that as well?"

Maria: "No Señora....the gardener did."

Wife: "So, how much do you want?"

What A Funny Jokes!! On Whatsapp Message

• Girl Friend K Sath Kamre k Andar,
  Table k uper, Batti k Niche,
  De Tacatac.... Le Tacatac....
  De Tacatac.... Le Tacatac....
  Stupid I Am Playing Table Tennis.
• Ek sardar motorcycle par apni patni ke sath hota hai. To vo apni patni ko kehta hai ki mera LANN pakad kar beth, phir dekh mein 100 ki speed par chalata hoon. Itne mein agge se Ek Dhoodh bechne walla achanak aa jata hai. Don ek dusre ko bachate-2 gir jate hain.
  Doodh Wala - Sardar Ji Bal Bal Bach Gaye.
  Sardar - Thik Kehta hai Bal Bal Hi bache hain, Bakki to sardarni le gayee !!!!

What A Jokes Message On Whatsapp - Sexy Express

Funny Jokes/message Collection On Whatsapp

TEACHER: 1 drop of sperm is equal to 100 drops of blood.

STUDENT: To fir miss aap hamara khoon kyon chusti hai, direct Lund chuso na..

Funny Jokes/message Collection On Whatsapp

Saali: Mini skirt me jija ji ke paas aakar kehti hai, Jiju dekhoto jhukne se meri panty dikhti hai kya?

Jija: oh ho, arre pehle pehan to lo, phir dikhana.

Sali: tumko APRIL FOOL bana rahi thi....

Patni gussa- Main ghar chhod ke jaa rahi hu.

Pati- Jana hai to jaldi ja warna teri gaand mar dunga.

Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi meethi baatein jane nahin deti..

Wife pathan se: Aaj tum mere saath is terhan aisa kuch karo ke bas meri cheekhein hi nikal jayen,

Pathan ne wife ki shalwar main aag laga di

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500

Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahin chahiye

Ramlal: Thakur sahab. Gabbar ne bahu ki ijjat loot li hai.

Thakur: To main kya karun?

Ramlal: Bahurani poochh rahi hai Gabbar se badla lena hai ya payment?

Teacher: Wats Ur name?

Boy: Hola

Teacher: Ye kya nam hua

Boy: Main holi k din hua tha na

Teacher: Thank god tum 'lodi' k din paida nahi hue!

Santa: AAJ GHAR JATE HI BIWI KI PANTY UTARUNGA,

Banta: AAJ TU BADE MOOD ME HAI?

Santa: MOOD KI AISI KI TESI, BAHUT TIGHT HAI , SUBAH GALTI SE PEHANLI THI

Pehli raat ko kamre ke andar jaate hi, dullhan apna blouse kholne lagi.

Dulha: Ye kya kar rahi ho.

Dulhan: Maa ne kaha tha jate hi dudh pilana

Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.

Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!

Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

Jeetto was going to Chandigarh for vacations.

At the time of packing Santa thinks, kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa

raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.

Santa standing in balcony without shirt.

Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.

Santa, "Yeh to kuch nahi hain, andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.

Once a sadhu went to a prostitute and after completing, while leaving the prostitute asked "baba, paise." He replied "pagli tujhse paise thodi loonga."

Son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha.

Dad: Kal uski suhagraat thi.

Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.

Girl: I'm like a radio, my left nipple is volume, my right nipple

is tuner,.. Boy turns both but there is no sound. Girl Said, Stupid

neechay cell(battery) tera baap dalega kya.

Question: Why do most men prefer to kiss a woman's lips?

Answer: That's the best way to shut a woman's Horizontal mouth &

open the Vertical one...!

A Girl Sitting in Examination hall with Sardar je..

Girl: Main aap ke naqal mar loon?

Sardar: Aahooo.. tu mere naqal mar lay phir main tere asal maroonga ...

Bahu: Maa ji wo abhi tak nahi aye kahin kisi dosri aurat k saath .

Saas: Are kalmuhi, tu hamesha aysa kyon sochti hay? Ho sakta hay truck ke neechay aa gaya hoga.

Whatsapp X-Rated Jokes Message - Janu Mera Blouse Utaro

On whatsapp Husband and wife chating...

Wife to her husband- Janu mera Blouse Utarooooo
Ab aise karooo Mera Ghaghra Bi Utrao
Ab duno undergarment bi utaro...
aur khabardar Jo aaj k baad mere kapde pehne toooo

One super adult jokes found on whatsapp....

Ek Aurat Subah hote hi mohalle ke doctor ke paas gayi aur boli, Kya mere pati ko viagra tum ne di thi?

Dr: Ji Memsaab.

Lady: Toh Madarchod, CHOOT bhi apni BIWI ki hi deni thi na...!!!

Funny Jokes Message on Whatsapp - Gadha jo khaaye wo Ghaas ho tum

1) Dr:Ne 1 Pagal Se Pocha:
Tum Chhat Se Q Latak Rahe Ho?
Pagal:Mai 1 Bulb hun
Dr: Tum Jal Q Nahi Rahe?
Pagal:Bewkuf Yeh INDIA h Light gyi hui h

2) BOY Sir gandhiji ke sir per baal kyun nahi the
TEACHER inteligent aadmi ki nishani he
BOY ha tabhi ladkiyo ke itne lambe bal hote hai

3) Pathan: Mujhe Shadi Me BMW Mili He 2 Pathan:
Pr Tumhare Pas To Koi Car Nhi He! 1st Pathan:
Abay Gadhe BMW Ka Matlab He Bohot Moti Wife

4) Santa galti se samundar me gir gya.
Doobte 2 uske hath me machli mili...
Use pakad kr bahar phenka aur bola ja tu toh apni jan bachale

5) Gadha jo khaaye wo Ghaas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanpraash ho tum,
Idiot, stupid, bakwaas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho! Yaar! Dost Jhakaas ho tum..

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message In Hindi - Ek Budha ek ladki se takra gaya

Everyday i collect some funny jokes from my whatsapp group. here one best jokes i give you now.


I'm Sorry!

Ek Budha ek ladki se takra gaya.

Budha ladki se bola: Sorry...-------------------

Ladki: Andha hai kya..... Dikhta nahi hai... Is umar mein bhi ye sab... Pata nahin kahan se aa jaate hain!!!

Yeh bolkar jaise hi woh ladki aage badhi, ek handsome sa ladka us se takra gaya.

Ladka: Sorry...----------------------

Ladki, sharmaate hue, "Koi baat nahin. it's okay!!!

Wo budhe uncle ye sab dekh rahe tha. Woh agey bada aur ladki se pucha: MERI SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI KYA??



Share Jokes With Your Friend On Whatsapp And Make A fun World.

Adult English Whatsapp Jokes Message on Man Fu*k A Women

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to
talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I
saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000." ;

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and
found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're
asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably
take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you
really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in
astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"

Best Whatsapp Jokes message On Home Made New Collection

Lady Tcher - Bachho, batao Samosa aur kachori, me kya fark hai ?
Ek Saitan Baccha bola - Madam, Bra pehenogi to Samosa dikhega,
Nahi pehenogi to kachori....!!

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Viagra ki 5 goli khakar 2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath karne ke baad...

Santa bola: "Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi"

GF: "Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?"

Santa: "Nahi janu, Ab palat jao"..

------------------------------

Income Tax Officer Hans Raha Tha.
Clerk : Kya Hua ???
Officer : Sunny Leon Ki File Hai.
Clerk : Toh ???
Officer : Kapde Phenti Nahi Hai,
Aur Laundry Bill 11 Lacs Bataya Hai.!

Funny Message On Whatsapp - Progremmer and magic

Once a DOCTOR and an PROGRAMMER entered a
chocolate store..
As they were busy looking around,
doctor stole 3 chocolate bars...
As they left the store, doctor said to
PROGRAMMER :
"Man! I'm the best thief ever,
I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You
can't beat that"
Programmer replied: "You wanna see something
better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show
you real stealing"
So they went to the counter and Programmer
said to the Shop boy:
"Do you wanna see magic..?"
The Shop boy replied: "Yes..!!!"
Programmer said: "Give me one chocolate bar!"
The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it...
He asked for the second, and he ate that as
well..
He asked for the third, and finished that one
too...
The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic..?"
.
.
.
.

Prgrammer replied: "Check in my friend's
pocket, and you'll find them..!!"

Funny English Whatsapp Message Collection On 05-Mar, 2014

An old farmer wrote a letter 2 his innocent son in prison:
"This year I'm unable 2 plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if u were here u would've helped me."
Son Replied: "U idiot, don't dig the ground, I have hidden the guns there."
Police read the letter, next day the ground was dug by the police, searched for guns but nothing was found.
Son wrote again: "now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here.
"Where there's a Will, there's a Way" (y);)
=============
idiot guy on phone: Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
idiot guy: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

Whatsapp Funny Muslim Jokes message

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond.
The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."
Which means: "Don't drink the water; the cows have crapped in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."
The Amish man says: "Use two hands,.You'll get more."


What has 24 legs and 48 teeth? Twelve Muslim women

Whatsapp Funny Message Collection On 03 MAR, 2014

Dad: Son, if you don't stop masturbating you will go blind.
Son: Dad, I'm over here.
**************
Q: How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A: None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Q: What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing! You told her twice already!

Q: Who won the Muslim beauty contest?
A: No one!

Q: What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
A: "Live ammunition."

Oh, it's all so tasteless
*******************
Itni Jaldi Bhi Kya Hai, Kuch To Sabar Rkho
------------------------------------------
Pappu Jahaaz Mein Beth Kar Mumbai Apne Uncle Ke Yaha Jaa Raha Tha.
Flight Mein Pilot Ne Announce Kiya: Hum Ek Ghante Mein Land KarneWale Hain.
Fir Wo Mic Band Karna Bhool Gaya Aur Co-Pilot Se Bola: Ab To Bas Ek Garam Chai Piyunga, Fir Air Hostess Ko Apna Chusa Ke, Aadhe Ghante Tak Jam Ke Thukayi Karunga
Air Hostess Ye Sun Kar Mic Band Karwane Ke Liye Bhaagi, Aur Pappu Ke Per Mein Fas Kar Gir Gayi.
Pappu Bola: Aunty Aapko Badi Jaldi Hai, Suna Nahi Woh Pahle Chai Piyega.
------------------------------------------
Shukar Hai Aap Sahi Salaamat Ghar Waapis Aa Gaye
------------------------------------------
Pati Ghar Aya To Biwi Ne Ghabrate Hue Kaha
Biwi: Shukar Hai Aap Sahi Salaamat Ghar Waapis Aa Gaye
Pati Ne Hairan Hote Hue Puchha: Kyu, Kya Ho Gaya?
Biwi: Bahar Kuch Log Kah Rahe They Ki Koi Chutiya Daru Pee Ke Gatar Mein Gir Gaya Hai

Funny Whatsapp Status Jokes Message

Okay!! This is a joke I heard today!

There were three guys in a forest.
Then they were being attacked by cannibals.
The cannibals said that they wouldn't eat them if they bring back 10 of the same fruit.
So the three guys go into the forest to get the fruit.
The first guy comes back with 10 apples.
Then the cannibals say, "Now the second thing you have to do is shove them up your a$$ without changing the expression on your face."
So the guy shoves the first apple up his a$$ and then whinces. So the cannibals eat him.
Then the second guy comes back with 10 berries.
Then the cannibals say, "Now the second thing you have to do is shove them up your a$$ without changing the expression on your face."
So the guy shoves 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8... then starts to laugh. So the cannibals eat him.
Then in heaven, the first guy says to the second guy, "Why did you laugh?! You almost had it!" Then the second guy says, "I saw the other guy coming with pineapples!"

Whatsapp Message Jokes On Maa-Beti Se Pyaar Karna Itna Asaan Kahan

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60 Saal Ki Ek Budhi Aurat Ne Ek Nojawan Ladke Ko Kaha
Aurat: Kya Tum Hum Maa-Beti Se Sex Karoge?
Ladke Ne Socha, Chalo Is Bahane Jawan Ladki To Milegi
Ladka: Haan Haan Kyu Nahi
Aurat Zor Se Boli: Maa Niche Aa Jao, Ye Maan Gaya Hai
------------------------------------------