Whatsapp Funny Jokes Message Collection

16 वर्ष की चूत    सेक्सी कविता    जवान लड़की के दूध में क्या होता है.
Tawaif Ne Apne Dalaal Ke Saath Shaadi Karli,
Kisi Ne Puchha: “Aap Ke Husband Kya Karte Hai?
Tawaif: “Wo Meri Hole Sale Company Ke Salesman Hai“



College Ke Trip Par Bache Ghumne Gaye Thhe, Aur Usmein Santa Ki Beti Chinki Bhi Thhi,
Jaisa Ki Aap Log Jante Ho Ki Jaha 1 Se Jyada Ladkiya Ho, Vaha Bas Duniya Bhar Ki Ajeebo Gareeb Baatein Shuru.
Ese Hi Chinki Ki Ek Friend Ne Sabhi Friends Ke Aage Ek Question Rakha.
Ladki: “Koi Btayega Ki Doodh Aur Ladki Mein Kya Faraq Hota Hai”
Chinki: “Ja Pagli Tujhe Itna Bhi Nahi Pata, Doodh Jab Gharam Hota Hai To Malayi Uper Aati Hai, Aur Ladki Jab Garam Ho To Malayi Niche Aati Hai”

Funny Dirty Whatsapp Joke In Hindi: Ek Fauji Ki Shadi Tay Hui

एक फौजी की शादी तय हुई पर शादी वाले दिन दुल्हन भाग गई बड़ी मुश्किल कि क्या करें
फौजी के डर से दुल्हन के भाई को घूंघट डाल कर फेरों पर बिठा दिया ।

पर होनी थी कि फौजी का लड़ाई का बुलावा आ गया और फौजी को तुरंत जाना पड़ा ।

शादी के बाद..

अब नई दुल्हन के साथ सोने के लिये फौजी की मां ने उसकी बहन धन्नो को भेज़ दिया, दुल्हन के भाई ने उसको चोद दिया ।
अब अगले दिन धन्नो ने साथ सोने के लिये मना कर दिया ।
तब उसकी मां ने दूसरी बहन बन्नो को सोने के लिये भेजा, दुल्हन के भाई ने उसको भी चोद दिया ।
अब अगले दिन बन्नो ने भी साथ सोने के लिये मना कर दिया ।
अबकी बार उसकी मां ने फौजी के भाई कल्लू को सोने की भेजा, दुल्हन के भाई ने उसकी गांड मार ली ।
अब अगले दिन कल्लू ने भी साथ सोने के लिये मना कर दिया ।
अब उसकी मां खुद ही सोने चली गई,दुल्हन के भाई ने उसको भी चोद दिया
तब फौजी की माँ ने खत लिखा...
धन्नो चुद गई बन्नो चुद गई
कल्लू की फट गई गांड
साठ साल की बुढ़ीया चुद गई
बहु के निकला ला़ंड��

Hindi Jokes Message

JOKE FOR FACEBOOK

1 ladka addmission lene college gaya..

Principle:"Mai tum se 1 Mushkil sawal puchun ya 10 Asaan.. ?? .

Ladka:"1 mushkil sawaal.. .

Principle:"Batao Din pehle aata hai ya Raat.. ?? .

Ladka:"Din.. . Principle:"wo kaise.. ?? . .

Ladka:"Sorry sir ye Aap ne Dusra sawal puch liya
********
My dad’s never proud of me.
One day he asked me,
“How old are you?”
I said, “Seventeen”
and he replied,
“When I was your age, I was eighteen” o.O :/

Patni ki Roj ki Jhik-Jhik Whatsapp Jokes Message On February 2014

Patni ki roj ki jhik-jhik se pareshan Pappu apna samaan bandhate hue bola:
Ab to main tere saath ek pal bhi nahin rahunga…
Pappu Railway station gaya, Pappu train mein chadhne laga tabhi akashwani hui…
“Isme mat chadh, yeh train patari se utar jayegi”
Pappu Airport gaya… Wo plane mein chadhne laga ki aawaz aayi
“Isme mat chadh yeh Crash ho jayega”
Pappu ne Bus mein jaane ki sochi, to phir aawaz aayi
“Isme mat chadh, yeh khaayi mein gir jaayegi”
Pappu gusse se bola: Kaun hai yaar?
Aawaz aayi: Main Bhagwan hoon!
Pappu rote hue bola: Prabu aapko meri itni hi chinta thi, to jab main Ghodi par chadh raha tha, tab kya aapka gala baith gaya tha??

Adult Whatsapp Jokes message

Ek Bar Ek Kisaan Apni Kutti Se Pareshan Tha, Uski Kutti Bache Nahi De Rahi Thi
Kisaan Bechara Tang Aa Kar Bazaar Gaya.
Kutte Ki Dukan Pe Gaya Aur Bola: “Mujhse Sabse Jyada Aur Tez Chodu Kutta Chahiye”
Dukandar Ne Use Sabse Mast Chodu Kutta De Diya.
Kisaan Khushi Khushi Apne Ghar Aya Aur Kutte Ko Kutti Ke Sath Chod Diya
Kisaan Ne Kutte Se Kaha: “Dekh Bete Hume Koi Jaldi Nahi Hai Tu Araam Se Apna Kaam Karna.”
Par Kutte Ne Ander Guste Hi Kutti Ki Chudai Shuru Kar Di
Kisaan Bada Khush Hua Dekh Kar. Dekhte Dekhte Usne Kutti Ko 2 Baar Chod Diya.
Fir Usne Gaayo Ki Chudai Shuru Kari. Saari Gaye Bhi Chod Di
Kisaan Ne Fir Kaha: “Bete Araam Kar Le. Koi Jaldi Nahi Hai. Tei Tabiyat Kharaab Ho Jayegi”
Kutta Fir Bhi Nahi Ruka Bhanis, Bakri, Suwar, Batakh Sab Ki Chudai Karte Karte Raat Ho Gayi.
Agle Din Subah Kisaan Utha To Usne Dekha, Kutta Ground Mein Chaaro Taang Uper Karke Pada Hua Thha
Uski Aankhein Bahar Aa Gayi Thhi Aur Jeebh Ladki Hui Thhi. Aur Ek Cheel Upar Madra Rahi Hai.
Kisaan Uske Paas Jaakar Bola: “Maine Kaha Tha Na Bete Control Kar. Meri Baat Maan Li Hoti To Aisa Nahi Hota. Jaan Gawani Pad Gayi Na”
Itne Mein Kutta Bola: “Shhhhhhhhh… Bhosndi Ke Door Ho Ja, Cheel Najdeek Aa Rahi Hai, Usko Bhi Chodna Hai



Some Whatsapp Message Jokes

This has got to be one of the cleverest msgs I've received in a while,

1. DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
A SPARKLING DRIVE

2. PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

4. DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

5. ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

6. DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

7. THE EYES
When you rearrange
THEY SEE

8. A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
I M A DOT IN PLACE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER...

Whatsapp Jokes Eak Biwi ki khahani

Biwi ek din office se thoda jaldi ghar pahuchi toh chup-chaap bedroom ka darwaza khola toh dekha ke kambal mein 2 ke bajaye 4 taangein nazar aa rahi thi. Usne ek cricket bat uthaya aur zor-zor se maarna shuru ho gayi. 😈Jab maar-maar ke thak gyi toh paani peene kitchen mein gayi ...aur dekha ki uska PATI bahar balcony mein bathe magazine padh raha hai. PATI bola:Tumhare Mummy-Papa aye hain aur maine unko bedroom mein sulaya hai. Jaa ke mil lo... 😇------------------------Moral: Aur karo "Shakk"

Whatsapp Funny Jokes Message Collection

Ek admi ne apne Padosi ko sms kiya ,

Dear Sir ,
Aapko jara sa bhi andaza nhi hai lekin aapko ye jaan kar hairaani jaroor hogi aur gussa bhi aayega ... ki aapki knowledge mei aane diye bagair, I've been using ur WIFE.

I used it double than u ordinarily use it......
I used it day and night ....!
I really felt that my requirement for it was more than yours but it is not morally Okkey for me. And I must confess when I was wrong morally as well as legally.

But I am sure that you will excuse me for my such naughty act. As otherwise also u were equally keeping it unused. Logically there's nothing wrong if I grabbed the opportunity but it is against social values and moral values.

All expenses on your pocket and I am enjoying it for free.
If you agree , (only if u agree ) from now onwards I am ready to bear 50% expenses or money spent on ur WIFE.
or with no other option I will get my own.

I could have continued like this for ever without letting u know anything but hope u'll appreciate my honesty and won't take any action against me. I m also feeling very guilty.
.
.

Neighbour just shot his wife and he was going to house of person sending sms ....
He received another SMS.
.
.
Sorry AUTO CORRECT app on my phone made it WIFE.
Actually it was about ur Wi Fi connection .

When Was born: Whatsapp jokes Message

When Bobby Darling was born, Doctor said "Mubarak ho, Dhokha hua hai"

When Ekta Kapoor was born, doctor said "Mubarak ho. Mubarak ho. Mubarak ho. Kon hua jaanne ke liye dekhiye agla episode".

When Manmohan Singh was born, Sholay was playing on the hospital TV, and AK Hangal said....."Itna sannata kyun hai bhai?".

When prabhudeva was born, the doctor said "Thoda bachcha hilna band karega toh check karke batate hain".
When Arnab Goswami was Born - Before Doctors could say anything, Arnab Said "C'mon Tell me... How you pulled me. Nation wants to know That".

When Rahul Gandhi was born, Doctor said, " Mubarak ho, aapke sath majaak hua hai".

When Daya was born - Doctors ran away to open all the doors of hospital.

When Kamaal R Khan was born, Doctor tried to push him in.
When Tusshar Kapoor was born, the doctor said to Jeetendra......"Maaf kar dijiye. Galti ho gayi.
When Mayavati was born doctor said mubarak ho Hathi hua hain.

When Harman Baweja was born doctors said, Hrithik hua hai.

when Sharad Pawar was born,"Mubarak ho scam hua hai! Jaanch jaari hai!".

अलोक नाथ जी पैदा नहीं प्रकट हुए हैं ।

Why I got Divorced: Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message

Why I got divorced.......... Sad story of a Man

Last wéek was my birthday.... My wife didnt wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my kids.... I went to work.... Even my colleagues didnt wish me.... As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa.............
NAKED

Whatsapp Jokes Message

3 kaale dost ek sath ja rahe the...
.
Raste me ek pari milti hai,
.
Pari-"tum 3no ek-ek wish batao main poori karugi."
.
1st.-"Mujhe gora aur khubsurat
kardo.
"Pari ne kar dia.
.
2nd-"mujhe bhi aisa kar do.
"Pari ne kar diya.
.
3rd zor zor se hasne laga or phir bola........
"Inko wapas pehle jaisa kardo......? .

Whatsapp Double Meanign Jokeszzzzzz

Double meaning

Teacher Asked Pappu:"Agar ped
par 5birds bethi ho, aur tum 1
kogoli maar do to
kitni bach gayi.. ??
. .
Pappu:"Koi nahi, sab udd
jayengi..
.
.
Teacher:"Nahi, 4 bachengi, lekin
tumhari
soch mujhe pasand
aai..
.
.
.
. .
Pappu:"Madam mera bhi 1
sawal Hai..
3 ladies ice cream kha rahi
Hain..
1 chaat kar, 1 kat kar
aur
1 choos kar.. batao konsi shadi
shuda Hai.. ??
.
. Teacher sharmate hue:"Jo choos
rahi Hai..
.
.
Pappu:"Nhi,jis k gale me
mangalsutra hai, .
.
.
Lekin apki soch mujhe pasand
Aai...:p:D

Ek Boy And Doctor Ka Whatsapp Jokes


Boy:" My GF is pregnant but I used protection..
.
.
Doctor:" 1 kahani suno...

1 shikari 1 din Gun ki jagah umbrella le gaya, achanak lion samne aaya to usne umbrella ka handle khicha aur fire kiya..
.
.
.
.
Lion wahi mar gaya..
.
.
.
Boy:" Impossible...
Kisi aur ne goli mari hogi..
.
.
Doc:" Exactly...

Jo doctor ka matlb samajh gaya Thoko Like, baki jante hai kya karna hai ??

Superb Whatsapp Jokes

Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ?? (15 marks)
.
Ans:" AMBULANCE has OXYGEN
cylinder,
.
Oxygen is a gas,
.
GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD,
.
FOOD is source of VITAMINS,
.
.
WE get Vit-D from SUN,
.
.
SUN produces LIGHT,
.
.
LIGHT comes from bulbs,
.
.
Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS
tree,
.
.
CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,
.
.
GIFTS are given by SANTA,
.
.
SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,
.
.
NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,
.
.
POLAR BEARS are WHITE..
.
.
That's why ambulance is WHITE...
.
.
Do not play with
students feelings..
.
.
We can write anything for good
marks..

Thoko Like 500 ki speed se.....

Ladka Ladki Ki Whatsapp Jokes

Kamina baccha
Ladka Aur Ladki Dono Haath Mein
Haath Daale Jaa Rahe The..
.
.
.
Usi Waqt Ek Shararti Bachha Aaya Aur Bola:"
.
.
.
.
Bhaiya, Kal Wali Didi Zyada Mast Thi.

Whatsapp Jokes

Santa was Reading Financial
Times...
.
Headlines: "Microsoft Buys
Whatsapp for $8.5 billion."
.
Santa - "O Teri!! Kharida Kyun,
Download Kar Leta"

Whatsapp Husband Wife Jokes Again

pogo Joke
Husband : Aaj tumhari behen ko
apne ghar me dekhkar bohot
khushi ho rahi hai...
:):):)
.
.
.
Wife : Jeans pehen lo...
Pyjame me khushi saaf nazar aa
rahi hai...

Hahahahaha...

Whatsapp Status Height

Height of Whatsapp addiction:
.
A Boy's fWhatsapp status:
"I am online during economics
lecture... Ha Ha Ha!!!"
.
Comment from his professor:
"Get out of the class!"
.
Dean liked the comment.
.
Friends commented:
"Jaldi cafe aaja, mahol ek dum
fit hai..." :V
.
Mother commented:
"Nalayak, class nahi karni to
sabzi leke sidha ghar
aa..."
.
Father commented: "Dekh lo
apne bete ki harkatein..."
.
Girl Friend commented:
"I hate you,
mujhse kaha Daadi hospital me
hai, mil nahi sakta...

WhatsApp Jokes Message On Santa

Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ?? (15 marks)
.
Ans:" AMBULANCE has OXYGEN
cylinder,
.
.
Oxygen is a gas,
.
.
GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD,
.
.
FOOD is source of VITAMINS,
.
.
WE get Vit-D from SUN,
.
.
SUN produces LIGHT,
.
.
LIGHT comes from bulbs,
.
.
Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS
tree,
.
.
CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,
.
.
GIFTS are given by SANTA,
.
.
SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,
.
.
NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,
.
.
POLAR BEARS are WHITE..
.
.
That's why ambulance is WHITE...
.
.
Do not play with
students feelings..
.
.
We can write anything for good
marks..

Thoko Like 500 ki speed se....

A Boy And A Girls In Whatsapp Chat


Whatsapp chat
Boy: Hello Babe.... (11:45pm)
Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)
Boy: Hey please answer me( 11:50pm)
Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)
Boy: But why do you treat me like that??
Why don't you answer me? (12:00am)
Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)
Boy: Ok good night dear,
i just wanted to tell you that 2dy I have received my salary
worth Rs.50,000 and i
have reserved Rs.20,000 for ur shopping....butl thin
Girl(typing): ohh hi dea...
Actly mum was der dts y I cudn reply...
N wow darling dts a gr8 nwz....
I love you a lot..
N when shall we go ? (12:05am)
Boy: (last seen 12:06am)
Girl: Baby please answer me na...
dear i was off last time, lmme knwna wen shall we go?(12:08am)
Boy: (last seen 12:09am)
Girl: I think ur lukin vry tired cz offwrkn load..
So nw u go to bed n slp well honey,tk cr, (12:10am)
Boy: (last seen 12:12am).
.
.
Girl: sry to disturb u but 1 thing I forgot dat
tomorrow mom dad are not at home in d evng, so u can come to my place after shopping..love u janu..gnyt.. (12:20am)
Boy(online) - ohh i was preparin for sleep, surely we will meet..c ya tomorrw..mmuuahhh

Pappu Ka Whatsapp Jokes

awesome joke...
Ek Seth ne pappu ko dukaan pe
Rakha. Sales 4 Guna ho gayi..
.
Seth ek din pappu se milne shop
pe aaya toh woh Grahak ko
Fishing Rod bech raha tha,
Seth khada ho k dekhne laga,
.
grahak ne 800 me fishing rod
kharid liya.
.
.
Pappu bola- Itne mehnge joote
pehan ke fishing karoge....??
Sports shoe le lo...
Usne 600 ke shoes le liye...
.
.
.
Pappu bola:- Dhoop lagegi, ek
Cap bhi lo,
usne le li
Pappu bola:-Fishing karte waqt
bhookh lagegi to kuch khane ko
le lo Usne chips, biscuit le liye
.
.
Woh bola fish rakhne ke liye ek
basket le lo,
tusne le lia
Iss tarah uska bill 8000 bana.
Seth bahut khush hua bola:- Tum
acche salesman ho, Wo keval
fishng rod lene aaya tha aur
Tumne itna saman bech diya.
.
.
.
Pappu : Sethji wo to Biwi ke
liye"WHISPER" lene aaya tha,
Maine bola-7 din kya karega, Ja
jake machali pakad.... ..
JisKo Samaj me aaya Wo Like karo Baki
sab PoGo Dekho

Santa Aur Chemist Ka Whatsapp Jokes

Santa chemist ke pass gaya
aur bola:
bhai kuchh help chahiye
tumhari..
Chemist: haan bolo?
aur santa ne apni davai ki
bottle me se ek chamach
chemist ko pilake pucha:g
meetha hai kya?
Chemist: nahi to, kyu kya hai
ye..
Santa: bas yahig puchna tha..
Doctor ne kaha tha ki chemist
ke paas jakar URINE Test
karwa kar pata karo ki URINE
me sugar hai ke nahi..

Ek shaitaan baccha ka Whatsapp jokes

Ek shaitaan baccha unknown no. Se call karta hai..
.
.
Ek admi uthata hai..

Admi : hello

Bacha : ullu pullu kullu..

Admi : kon hai be...

Bacha : ek insaan

Admi : wo to pta hai naam bol..

Bacha : main ek ganda bacha hu..!

Admi : teri to aisi ki tesi kha rhta hai tu...

Bacha : prithvi par

Admi : wo to pta hai, phone kyu kiya..

Bacha : tujhe preshaan karne k liye...

Admi : ruk sale apne baap ko bula ! Chhakke ki olad..

Bacha : hello papa mai pappu...