Whatsapp Message Jokes: A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job

The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?

He says 'Yes - just caffeine.'

'Have you ever been in the service?'

'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward
employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?'

The guy says, 'Yes...an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right
now.

Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 -
and plan on starting at 10 AM, every day.'

The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, why
don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?

'This is a government job,' the interviewer says, 'For the first two
hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No
point in you coming in for that.'

Jokes Message On Whatsapp: Old One With New Twist

Got this one in a old bengali book, can't recall total:

Alex asked Sammy: Boy get sandwich for me from that restaurant, and bring one for you also.

Sammy got back chewing a sandwich, : " Hey Mister your balance''.

Alex: Where is mine?

Sammy: "There was only one in the shop."

Whatsapp Jokes On AN ATHEIST AND A BEAR

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''''t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."

Whatsapp Jokes On Arvind Kejriwal Is So Honest!

1. Kejriwal is so honest that no woman has ever asked him ” do I look fat”

2. Kejriwal is so honest that when he throws a party , he calls the cops at 10pm

3. Kejriwal is so honest that he actually tests the level of salt in colgate

4. Kejriwal is so honest that he never skips youtube ads

5. Kejriwal is so honest that he always removes USB safely

6. Kejriwal is so honest that when he finds the bomb , he returns it to the terrorist

7. Kejriwal is so honest that he got his wife’s brother arrested for stealing his shoes during his marriage ceremony!

8. Kejriwal is so honest that he cooks maggi only for 2 minutes

9. Kejriwal is so honest that he actually “rolls on the floor laughing” when he texts ROFL

10. Kejriwal is so honest that whenever he downloads a movie online, he buys a ticket to see it

11. Kejriwal is so honest that he demands a receipt even from Autowallas

12. Kejriwal is so honest that he hasn’t installed any anti-virus on his system because he does not want any kind of “security”

13. Kejriwal is so honest that he was found standing on weighting machine naked for accurate measurement

14. Kejriwal is so honest that he doesn’t take extra sauce sachets with Mc’D burgers

15. Kejriwal is so honest that he admits when he farts

Whatsapp Message Jokes On A Man And A Woman

Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: What color is your Ferrari?

Hindi Whatsapp Non Veg Jokes Status Message For Making Fun

• Some very funny jokes for whatsapp.

Once Rajnikant Send A Non-Veg Joke To An Innocent And Religious Girl.

Today, That Girl Is Known As

“Sunny Leone“

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

Chodumal Khan Saahab Bade Khushe The Aaj, Dosto Ke Puchne Pe Apni Khushi Shayari Mein Byaan Ki
.
Aaj Uska Dil Phir Dukha Diya Hamne,
.
Apne Pyar Ka Karz Chuka Diya Hamne,
.
De Kar Laalach Use Ice Cream Ka,
.
Andhere Mein Apna Choosa Diya Hamne.

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

 Ek Lady Dentist Ke Paas Gayi Chack Karane.

Dentist Check Karke Bola: “Kya Aap Oral B Karti Ho?”

Lady: “Ji Doctor Saab, Oral Bhi Karna Padta Hai, Uske Bina To Mere Husband Ka Khada Hi Nahi Hota.”

Ab Aap Batao Dirty Dentist Tha Ya Aurat?

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

 After People’s not big responce 2 Pornstar
Sunny Leonne’s “JISM2”
……
…
…
…
…
I am thinking dat Aamir khan said were right in
3 IDIOT
“Jo jis kaam mein Perfect ho , usse wohi krna
chahiye

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

Teacher Ask a Question To The Whole Class.

“Students, Give 3 Advantage Of Banana.”

Boys:
1. Rich Calcium.
2. Reduces Cholesterol.
3. No Risk Of Cancer.

Girls:
1. No Risk Of Pregnancy.
2. No HIV.
3No Need Of Partner.

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

Santa Khana Khaate-Khaate Apni Biwi (Preeto) Pe Chillata Hai.

Santa: “Arey, Ye Sabzi Mein Baal Ka Guchha Kya Kar Raha Hai?”

Preeto: “Arrey, Wo Mere Neeche Ke Baal Hain.”

Santa: “Hadd Hai, Ye Sabzi Mein Kyu Daalein Hain?”

Preeto: “Aap Hi To Roz Kehte Ho Ki Khane Mein Jhaant Bhar Ka Bhi Swaad Nahi Aata, To Isliye Aaj Maine Daal Diye.“

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message On my boss

A boss said to his secretary I want
to have SEX wit U I will make it very
FAST. I'll throw R1000 on the floor,
by the time you bend down to pick
it I'll be DONE
" She thought for a moment then
called her boyfriend and told him
the story.
Her boyfriend then said 2 her, do it
but "Ask him for R2000, pick up
the money very fast he wouldn't
even have much time to
undress himself " So she agrees.
Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend
decides to call girlfriend, he asks,
what happened? She
responds,"The Bastard used COINS
I'm still PICKING UP and he is still
fucking!!!

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message On My Whatsapp

Some Adult whatsapp jokes message. send it to your whatsapp friend.

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

When a man loves, they mean it.
It takes a proud woman not to see how much they are loved.
Sad story-its life anyway, if you think he's less your standards, then you wrong-you know nothing about his future...
Stick to what you have for a better testimony...
The past has gone-watch out for what's about to happen...

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

A man and a woman were having drinks
when they got
into an argument about who enjoyed
sex more. The
man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex
more than women.
Why do you think we're so obsessed
with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the
woman countered.
"Think about this...when your ear itches
and you put
your finger in it and wiggle it around,
then pull it out,
which feels better-your ear or your
finger?".

• Whatsapp Jokes Status

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook!!