There’s a guy and girl having sex. The guy busts a nut and throws the condom out the window. The girl freaks out and says, "What the hell are you doing, I’m not done yet and that was the last condom". "Go get it now", she says. So he runs outside to get it but he sees a little boy has it in his hand. The guy says, "Give me that" and the boy says, "no its mine I found it". The guy gives the kid $5.00 and the kid gives him the condom. Then the kid runs home to show his mom the money. His mom asks, "Where did you get that?" The boy says, "I found a Twinkie, and some guy gave me $5.00 for it and he’s sh*t out of luck cause I already ate the cream out of the middle
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A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
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One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
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