Showing posts with label Funny Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Jokes. Show all posts

After Diwali With My Boss: Funny Messages For Whatsapp

After Diwali,boss entered board room and said,
"Let's Start".
A half-sleepy employee threw a 100 rupee note and said, "MERI SAU KI BLIND"!
funny hindi ladki photo on jokes time

Santa-क्या मोदी  England से "कोहिनूर" ला पाएंगे?
Banta-जो चीज, "मेडिकल स्टोर" पर आराम से मिल सकती है उसे ब्रिटेन से लाने की क्या जरुरत है?

Tensions of those will start from today onwards who said....
"Diwali ke baad teri payment doonga"

GF-tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho?
Santa-Kuch bhi
GF-to ek rolex ki ghadi le do
Santa-behen poora to bolne de...."kuch bhi nahi"

Non Veg Jokes Group: Best Hindi Funny Jokes

Get daily most funny Hindi non veg jokes by joining on our whatsapp group.


अंग्रेजो का एक महीने का
त्योहार चल रहा था जिसमे वो
NON VEG नही खाते थे.
उनके मोहल्ले मे एक सरदार रहता था,
जो हर रोज चिकन बनाकर खाता था.
चिकन की खुशबू से परेशान होकर
अंग्रेजो ने अपने पादरी से शिकायत की.
पादरी ने सरदार जी को कहा कि
तुम भी ईसाई धर्म स्वीकार कर लो,
जिससे किसी को आपसे कोई
समस्या ना हो.
हमारे सरदार जी मान गए.
तो पादरी ने सरदार जी पर
Holy water छिडकते हुए कहा
"You born as a "SIKH" but
Now you are a "Christian"
अगले दिन फिर सरदार जी के घर से
चिकन की खुशबू आई तो सब अंग्रेजो ने
पादरी से उसकी फिर शिकायत की.
अब पादरी अंग्रेजो को साथ लेकर
सरदार जी के घर मे गए तो देखा,
सरदार जी चिकन पर
Holy Water छिडक रहे थे
और कह रहे थे,
"You born as "Chicken"
but
Now you are "Potato"
non veg group jokes on wife
A Jokes From Our Group

This is The Far Most Funny Indian Jokes Ever I Read

Read this jokes carefully it's really so funny. Hindi non veg adult jokes collection.

A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada ...
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am from Pakistan '.
The man goes on and encounters another passerby ... ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Canada !'
The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says .... 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks ... 'Are you a Canadian ?'
She says , 'No, I am from India !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians ?'
The Indian lady checks her watch and says ....'Probably at work'
a funny indian muslim facebook status
Facebook Status Indian Muslim People Jokes


Recent Bollywood Funny Jokes With Picture

Get latest funny Bollywood humorous jokes and funny messages idea for whatsapp group.

bollywood most funny Hindi jokes
Bollywood masla jokes


Top 10 Short And Funny English Jokes Whatsapp Messages 05 Aug 2015

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred...

Ques :- What  is the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter ?.
Ans :- One svrewin the wrong place and the whole cabinet fall apart.!

A dress is like  a barbed fence .it protects the premises restricting the view...
indian funny girls picture


One day a wife asked her husband what would he do if she were to die. The husband replied," I'll also die ."The wife asked him,"Why ?"
Husband replied , well , you know I have a weak heart and most likely I would not be able to tolerate that much happiness."


Boss ( to liftman ) :- " Mr batt is feeling ill . would you be so kind  as to escort him home ?"
Liftman. :- " Certainly, Sir anything  else?"
Boss :" yes, As this is test Match week , deliver him and get a receipt.!


Two club members were talking about a recent car accident ," What ever became of that hit- and- rum driver?" ' He's batting for the prison cricket team !"...


why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation , provides heat, us refreshing and comes in attractive containers...

68 Call Girls Hindi Funny Jokes 31 July 2015

Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"
Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."
Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"
Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.
Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"
Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.

Superb Hindi Funny Jokes Whatsapp Messages - When My Boss Call

Universal thoughts before picking phone when boss
calls :
Ab kya maa chud gayi iski ?
Gaand le rakhi hai isne ?
Ab kiski gaand mari gayi ?
Kal se le rakhi hai isne ?
Iss behenchod ko ghar par koi kaam nahi hai kya ?
Jab bhi daaru piyo iski maa to chudni hi hai ?
Issey chutti ke din bhi mrwani hoti h?
After picking phone :
"Haanji sir" !!...

Non Veg Jokes: Whatsapp Funny Messages Idea

Teacher Student funny hindi jokes whatsapp messages.
Teacher: Bade ho kar tum kya karoge?
Student: Ji shaadi.
Teacher: Mera matalab, kya banoge?
Student: Ji dulha.
Teacher: Are, mera matlab hai, kya hasil karoge?
Student: Ji DULHAN.
most recent hindi funny picture

Non Veg Jokes: Hindi Jokes Plus Funny Picture

Latest collection of most funny Hindi jokes and whastapp messages idea for your funny whatsapp group or friend.

#Jokes
Fly in the tea cup
Customer: Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter: “How could I know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller.
funny picture short jokes for whatsapp messages


Whatsapp Funny Jokes: Picture And Text Idea

funny whatsapp picture messages

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

How Retired People Do Fun: Funny Whatsapp Messages

Do you know how retired people do for fun. Read an example here!
The other day I went into town and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen an effin’break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a jerk. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a stupid pig. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 10 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. My bus arrived and I went home.
funny-jokes-on-india-pakistan-match


Santa Banta Non Veg Latest Hindi Jokes 10 February 2015

Banta ne Santa se pucha " Yaar tu kal ladki dekhne gaya tha? Ladki Pasand ayee? "
Ye sunke Santa ne pura kissa bayan kiya kuch yese:
Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se.
to khuda kasam hum madhosh ho gaye.
jab pata chala nazar parmanent tirchhi he
to hum khade-khade hi behosh ho gaye....
non-veg-hindi-jokes


Ek Baar Santa Apni Biwi Ke Saath Jaa Raha Tha,
Raste Mein Usse Ek Dost Mila
Jisse Police Ne Pakda Hua Tha.
Santa Ne Usse Puchha: Kya Hua?
Dost: Mene Apni Biwi Ko Maar Dala
Santa Kuch Sochte Huye: Saza Kya Mili Hai?
Dost: 6 Hafte
Santa: Bass Yaar, 6 Hafte
Santa Ne Aav Dekha Na Taav Fatafatt
Police Ki Gun Lee Or Apni Biwi Ko Maar Dala
Dost Rote Hue: Abe Sale,
Yeh Tune Kya Kiya?
Puri Baat To Sunta,
6 Hafte Baad Muje Phaansi Hone wali he.

Santa ne Banta se puchha " Yar tu kal PK dekhne gaya tha, kyesi lagi picture? "
Banta- Aare yar kya bataoon PK dekhne gaya tha...
Ticket ka rate dekha to....
Pee ke aa gaya !!!!

A Bullet Kill Him Funny Jokes Whatsapp Messages 02 February 2015

Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
funny picture for whatsapp messages


Best Non Veg Jokes Hindi Whatsapp Messages 01 Febuary 2015

Collection of the worst Hindi non veg jokes found on last january month. Make a funny Whatsapp jokes messages to your friend from here.


Whatsapp Funny Messages:
एक चीता सिगरेट का कश लगाने ही वाला था कि अचानक चूहा वहा आया और
बोला"भाई छोड दो नशा आयो मरे
साथ
देखो जंगल कितना खूबसूरत है
चीता चूहे के साथ चल दिया
आगे हाथी कोकीन ले रहा था
चूहा फिर बोला भाई छोड दो नशा आओ मेरे साथ देखो जंगल कितना खूबसूरत
है ।
हाथी भी चल दिया
आगे शेर वहिस्की पीने की तैयारी कर रहा था चूहे ने उसे भी वहि कहा शेर ने ग्लास साइड पर रखा और चूहे को जोरदार तमाचा मारा
हाथी बोला" अरे क्यो मार रहे हो
इस बेचारे को
शेर बोला" ये साला रोज भा'ग पीके ऐसे ही सबको पूरी रात जंगल घुमाता है ।

Whatsapp Funny Messages:
एक 18 साल का लड़का ट्रेन से अपने पिता के साथ घर जा रहा था
अचानक वो जोर से चिल्लाया
"पिताजी वो देखा पेड़ हमारे साथ-साथ चल रहे है"
उसके पिता ने प्यार से उसके सिर पे हाथ फिराया
कुछ देर बाद फिर जोर से चिल्लाया
"पिताजी वो देखो आसमान भी हमारे साथ-साथ चल रहा है"
उसे पिता की आँखो मे आँसू आ गये
पास बैठा आदमी ये सब
देख रहा था
उस कहा
"आपका लड़का इतना बढा होकर भी बच्चो जैसी हरकस करता है
आप इसका इलाज किसी अच्छे डाक्टर से क्यो नही करवाते
उससे पिताजी ने कहा-
हम डाक्टर के पास से आ रहे है
दरअसल मेरा बेटा जन्म से ही अँधा था आज ही उसे नई आँखे मिली है ।


Whatsapp Funny Messages:
Husband Suhaag Raat Wale Din Apni Wife Se Poochta Hai.
Husband: “Abb Tak Kitne mardo k Saath Soi Ho Sach Batana?”
.
Wife: “Sach Keh Rahi Hu, Sirf Aap Ke Saath Soi Hu
.
.
Baaki Sab Haraamzade To Sone Hi Nahi Dete The..

Whatsapp Funny Messages On Husband Wife Non Veg Jokes

Wife:"Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .
Husband:"Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,
Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .
Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..
fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao...
.
Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .
Husbnd:"Kya hua.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wife: "maa bahen ek hogayi..... BC Daal hi gir gai .

Hindi Pagal Jokes For Whatsapp Send Messages

Ek bar ek pagal ko jail mein band kar diya gaya . .
Pagal to Jailer : mujhe ek kitaab likhni hai kagaz aur pen do mujhko
Jailer : abe tu kitab likh ke kya karega ?
Pagal : publish kara ke famous banunga
Jailer : Hawaldar iss pagal ko ek copy aur kalam do aake
Pagal kitab likhna suru karta hai . . Pahle page pe likhta hai "ghoda jungle ki taraf chal diya"
aur last page pe likhta hai "ghoda jungle pahunch gaya"
Pagal : jailer saab ye lijiye padhiye ye kitab maine likhi hai maine. . Lekin sirf 1st aur last page padhiyega. .
Jailer : padhta hai use gussa ata hai kahta hai kya bakwas hai ye bich mein kya likha hai . . :/
Pagal : tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik

Funny Latest Jokes: A Lady On Phone

A Lady on telephone:
Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you..
Man: do u know me..
Lady: Yes you are the father of one of my kids.
Man stunned,
Oh my God!
Are u Sangeeta????
No
Are U Dhanashree ???
No
Are u Nisha?
No
Disha?
No
Maitri?
No
Anusha?
No
Mitali?
No
Vaishali?
No
Lady in confusion...
No sir i'm the class teacher of your son.. . 😛
Rocking question shocking answer

A Superb Naughty Whatsapp Text Messages Idea For Your Friend

Read the most naughty and funny whatsapp text messages idea for only your friend.


1 Ladka Pepsi Samne Rakh Ke Udas Baita
Tha .
Dost aaya Pepsi Pee liya aur pucha Yaar
tu Udaas Q Hai......??
.
Dost bola Yaar Aaj ka Din hi Bura hai.
.
Subah GF Se Jhagda Ho gaya
.
.
Raste Me Car Kharab Ho gayi. 0ffice Late Pahuncha To Boss ne Naukri
Se Nikal Diya. .
Ab Suicide K Liye Pepsi Me ZAHER Milaya
Wo Bhi tu Pee Gya...

Boy, Girl Funny Whatsapp Chat Messages Jokes 18 Jan 2015

Girl saw her boyfriend with another girl holding
hands...
Girl messages him !
..
Girl : Where r u?
..
Boy : I m at home !
..
Girl : Oh Ok well I saw your twin, same like you with someone else.
Hahaha! And he is behind me.
..
Boy looked at her and felt ashamed then
he message her!
..
Boy : Its me, I'm so sorry, I swear I would
never do that again! Your trust made me feel proud to have you in my life. I'll be
yours only!
..
Girl : That's ok but I am stupid to love you
again but not an idiot enough to trust you
again!
..
Boy : Well I will try my best to win your trust again.
..
Boy left the other girl.
.
.
A relationship all depends on trust,
if
someone trusts you blindly never ever
prove them blind. ...

Funny Jokes Whatsapp Text Messages For Your Girlfriend

A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend,
'I wish I had bigger tits'.
The boyfriend says 'well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months'. 'How will that help to make my tits bigger?' asks the girlfriend.
'Well it worked for your ass' says the boyfriend.


Funny English Jokes On The Italian Man 12 Jan 2015


The most Funny Jokes In English On The Italian Man

U Speaka Da English?
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

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