Showing posts with label Adult_Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adult_Jokes. Show all posts

English Dirty Jokes Whatsapp Messages on Nurse

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?

Husband Wife Hindi Funny Jokes: Some Funny Whatsapp Messages


Husband :- I am feeling so depressed today.
Wife :- Why, Honey "
Husband :- it is just that  sometimes I feel so alone and useless.
Wife :- Oh, you do not have to feel so alone. A lot of people think you are useless...

Wife:- where are you going?
Husband :- to the doctor.
Wife:- why ? Are you sick?
Husband :" No, I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
Wife fir up out of her broker and was putting on her sweater.
Husband :- Where are you going?
Wife :- I'm going to the doctor too.
Husband :- Why?.
Wife :- if you're going to start using that rusty old thing again , I'm going to get a tetanus shot...

three couples are dining together.
The American husband says to his wife'
" Pass me the honey , Honey."
The English husband says to his wife:
" Pass me  the auger , Sugar."
They you name it husband says to his wife:" Pass me the steak , Dumb cow".

Husband Wife Hindi Adult Jokes: Change Position Tonight

Wife: Hey, you wanna change
positions tonight?
Husband: Sure honey!
Wife: Ok then, you do the
dishes and ill sit on the couch
holding the remote and farting.


Hindi Naughty Non Veg Jokes - Funny Whatsapp Messages Making Idea


Get the most funny Hindi jokes and using this jokes make a funny whatsapp messages to your friend.

Non Veg Jokes On Pados Wale Uncle

Mujhe Aaj Bhi Woh Pados Wale Uncle Yaad Hain Jo Mujh Se Kehte Thy Ke Lollipop Chahiye Toh Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Daal Ke Khud He Nikaal Lo..

Aur Jab Main Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Dalti Toh Kitni Der Tak Lollipop Pakad Kar Khichti Magar Uncle Ne Itni Kas Ke Lollipop Bandha Huwa Hota Tha Ke Uski Cheeni Pighal Ke Mere Haath Main Lag Jaati..

Magar Kabhi Bhi Lollipop Nahin Nikaal Saki..

Veena Malik Ki Kitab"Mera Bachpan Meri Shararatien"LOLLI POP"..!
Funny Whatsapp Messages
Funny Whatsapp Chat

Adult Nurse Jokes Whatsapp Message: Anyone See My Pussy

Nurse lost her Cat.

Nurse in the hospital- any 1 got a pussy?

All women stood up,

Nurse,I mean any one seen a pussy,

All men stood up.

Nurse,I meant any one seen my pussy, (All doctors stood up).....

Non Veg Jokes Whatsapp Message In Hindi


pani moun mein bher k road pey ker di kulli
wah wah wah
pani moun mein bher k road pey ker di kulli
mooth ker k zip bund ker raha tah phuns gayi lulli....
===========
pathan bivi say: khochi tm bachay ko kya pilati ho?
bivi: doodh aur orange juice
pathan: oye khochi tm ney kabhi bataya nahin k orange juice kis side say aata hai......
===========
saaf sutra lateefa: aik pathan poti kr k apnay hath soong raha tah
aik aadmi ney poocha kya ker rahay ho?
pathan bola k hum bhool gaya tah k hum ney duphair mein kya khaya tah....
===========
Beta: Papa yeh Condom Kia HOta hai?

Papa: Chal Bhaag mujhey nhi Pata.

Beta: Tabhi tu Hum 14 Behan Bhai Hain
===========

PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain

SON : Papa mai bataoo

PAPA :Nahi tum chup rahoo

SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH

PAPA : ohh haan

SON : to kya aap LUN samajh rahay thay.................
===========
Aik bus mein girls ki team aur boys ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.

Girls : Hum tumhe hara ke dikhayenge!

Boys : Hum har gaye, chalo ab dikhao.......hahahahahaha
============
One Sardar Raped a Sikhni ,

She Said " Hunn Main RaulaPaawangi " ,

Sardar Says " Raula Teh Hunn Main paawan ga, Panchood Utton Sikhni tay Theloo clean Shave....

Good Non Veg Hindi Jokes: Yeh Ghalat Hai

Girl: Yeh Ghalat Hai...

Boy: But I Love yu..

Girl: Yeh Ghalat Hai...

Boy:Hum Shaadi Karlenge...

Girl: Yeh Ghalat Hai...

Boy: Nahi....

Girl: Kuttay de Putar, Tm jahan Daal rhe ho, woh Jaga Ghalat hai...!

Dirty Hindi Jokes: Sex 24x7

New Couple Kept having sex 24x7.They Became
weak but didn't Stop.
They Consulted a Doctor.
Doc Said: Have Sex only on those days which hav
'R' in it.
ie,ThuRsday,fRiday or SatuRday.
Couple Agreed
On Monday Husband Asks his Wife Darling Wats
the Day Today?
Wife gives a Naughty smile & says
"somvaaR"
MORAL : Horny ko koun taal sakta hai!!!

Adult English Funny Jokes Whatsapp Message 24 Oct 2014

Two old ladies were on holiday in Greece and had landed up
at one of the local museums. As they wandered around they
came across a magnificent 12 foot statue of a greek god,
naked apart from a fig leaf. One of the old ladies stood
transfixed.
“Come on, Mabel,” said the other. “What are you waiting for,
Christmas?”
“No, just autumn,” she replied.

The Adult Jokes in Hindi ~ Taxi Driver

Ek Taxi Driver Ne Teen Logo Ko Taxi Mein Bithaya Jisme 1 Ladka, 1 Ladki Aur 1 Hizda Tha.
Pahle Ladki Utari, Kiraya Dete Samay Driver Ne Ladki Ko 2 Rupaye Vapis Kar Diye

Ladki: “Mujhse 2 Rupaye Kam Kyun Liye?”
Driver: “Teri Gori Pyari Chut (Vagina), Uspe 2 Rupaye Ki Choot (Discount).”
Driver Ne Ladke Se 2 Rupaye Jyada Liye.
Ladka: “Oye, Mujhse 2 Rupaye Jyada Kyon Le Raha Hai?”
Driver: “Tera Kala Mota Lund, Uspar 2 Rupaye Ka Dand (Fine).”
Ab Hizda Ye Sab Sunkar Bina Paisi Diye Hi Bhagne Laga.
Driver: “Ruk Bhonshdi Ke Kiraya To Deta Ja.”
Hizda: “Na Mere Pas Chut Hai Na Hai Lund, Isliye Main Hun Free Fund.

Adult English Jokes: Viagra tablet

A man goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The dentist gets the syringe ready to administer the
anesthetic.
“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient says.
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.
“I can’t do the gas thing—the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”
The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.
“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”
The dentist then returns and says, “Here is a Viagra tablet.”
The patient says, “Wow—I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain pill!”
“It doesn’t,” says the dentist, “but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your
tooth.”

Oct Adult Hindi Whatsapp Jokes Message 18 Oct 2014

Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team Antakshari
Khelne K Liye bani,
.
.
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar hi dikhayenge,
.
.
.
.
.
Pichhe betha GULLU BOLA :- Hum Haar Gye, Chalo
Ab Dikhao
.
Jo samaj gya Thoko Share.

Adult Hindi Jokes Humor: Married Women And Viagra Pills

A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in sex.
Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.
So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.
"Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself. That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.
Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone. Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"
"No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks. "I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"
"That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you -- Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty.' "

Whatsapp Message: Adult Hilarious Jokes Of The Night

JOKE OF THE NIGHT A woman passed her
daughter's room and heard a
strange buzzing noise. Opening
the door, she
saw her daughter
with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked why?? The daughter replied:mom, I'm
thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing
is as close as I'll
ever get to a husband. So
Please,leave me alone. Next day, the father heard the
same buzz and
upon entering, he also saw the
same scene. To his query,the daughter
again said: dad I'm thirty-five,
unmarried, and
this
thing is about as close as I'll
ever get to a husband. Please, leave me
alone. A couple days later, the wife
came home from
shopping and heard that
buzzing noise coming
from,
the living room. On entering she saw her
husband sitting on the
couch,downing a cold beer, and
staring at the
TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch,
buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: What the f#*k
are you doing? The husband replied: I'm
watching football with
my
son-in-law..

Ancient Adult Funny English Jokes Whatsapp Message 11 Oct 2014

During a war warrior shouted against 3 ladies
Warrior: I am going to r*pe you all. Younger
lady: But please leave our grand mother.
Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.

Like Father Like Son - Whatsapp English Funny Jokes Message

A funny english whatsapp message on like father like son: adult jokes

A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee. He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"

Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message: Village Girl With Condom

Sonu was making love to a village girl and he was not using a condom....

Suddenly the girl noticed and ask "are you not using a condom?"

Sonu relied: yes!

She said "hope you don't have hiv/ aids"!

Sonu replied: yes of course i dn't have dem.

Village girl: thank God.. Bcos i don't want to get that thing again!

Sonu fainted


Double Dose Of Viagra: A Funny Jokes Only For 18+

A man walked into his doctor's office on Friday and asked for a double dose of Viagra.
"What do you need it for?", the doctor asked.
"Well, my ex wife is coming over tonight, my girlfriend is coming over Saturday and my wife gets home from her business trip on Sunday", he replied.
On Monday, the man walks into the doctor's office with his right arm in a sling.
"What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Nobody showed up" said the man

Superb Hot Hindi Non Veg Jokes: Fauji Aur Wife


Ek fauji jang se 3 saal bad lauta or
khidki ke paas udaas hoke beth
gaya
Wife ko sex karne ki icha hui.
Wife dupatta gira ke boli dekho hawa
ne mera kya uda diya
Fauji chup
phir kurti nikali or boli dekho ji hawa
ne mera kya uda diya.
Fauji fir chup
Wife salwar utar ke boli dekho ji
hawa ne mera kya uda diya...
Fauji ko gussa aaya or pent utar ke
bola '' dekh bomb ne mera kya uda
diya''
wife chup

Funny Jokes Hindi Non Veg And Super Fun Mix


Lalu's PA - Sir! There is a new problem.
Lalu- Ka problem?
PA: Ebola
Lalu: Kaun bola?
PA: Koi bola nahin Sir. Ebola.
Lalu: Arey Kaun bola bhai? Nitish bola? Modi bola? Kaun bola?
PA: Sir - aap samajh hi Nahin rahey hain. Ebola.
Lalu - Abey ham samajh Nahin rahey hain Ki tum pagla Gaye ho ka? Bola kon, Manmohnwa Bol Diya ka re?!!
==============
सुप्रीम कोर्ट ने जनता की
मांग पर श्रीराम व उनकी
सेना को सभी आरोपों से मुक्त
किया
** इति श्री रामायण कथा समाप्त
रघुपति राघव राजा राम,
जेल के अन्दर आशाराम।
साधू बन के ऐसे काम,
कैदी बन के करो आराम।
देख लिये अपना अंजाम,
हुए बुढ़ापे में बदनाम।
झूटे पाखंडी के नाम,
👪देश का है ये पैगाम।
😇खुद को कहते थे भगवन,
पकड़े गये न झंडू बाम।