Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!
Q: Whats long and hard and has cum in it?
A: a cucumber
Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!
Q: Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
A: They couldn't close his casket.
Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!
Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: a rip off
Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower is coming. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back,
Ok, send me your mother."
Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?
A: He only comes once a year. Girl: "Hey, what's up?" Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?
A: They steal all the green cards.
Q: Why don't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Q: What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it." Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? A: Tug-of-whore. Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese. Q: Why do they call it PMS? A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frogs finger Q: What's a porn star's favorite drink? A: 7 Up in cider. Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common?
A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns
Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys?
A: Steve Nash.
Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey?
A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A: Because their plugged into a genius!
Q: What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" Q: Why don't black people go on cruises? A: They already fell for that trick once. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue. Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: Half a dog! Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork. Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.? A: E.T. eventually went home! Q: Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A: Because the 'p' is silent Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis Q: What’s the difference between being hungry and horny? A: Where you put the cucumber. What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?
Q: What did One gay sperm say to another?
A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?
Q: Did you hear about the celebrity murderer?
A: He was shooting for the stars.
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A: Ate something If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three feet of my cock up your ass. Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: A virgin. Q: What kind of bees produce milk? A: Boobies Q: Did you hear about the African American girl who was quiet during the movie? A: She wasn't Q: How do you start a parade in the ghetto? A: Roll a 40 down the street. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant. Q: Whats the worst thing about dating a blonde? A: If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they. Q: What did the penis say to the vagina? A: Don't make me cum in there. Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: What do you call ball's on your chin?
A: A dick in your mouth!
Q: Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
A: He joined the que que que.
Q: What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!
Q: Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader?
A: They both suck for four quarters. What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off
Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls
Q: How do you rape a camel? A: One hump at a time.
Q: What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a pool?
A: Vegetable soup.
Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
A: Her navel.
Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
Q: What do you call a Spanish chick with no legs?
A: Cuntswaylow
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens!
Q: What's the difference between a hair stylist and a nail stylist?
A: One does hand jobs and one does blow jobs!
Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
A: Hairballs.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?
A: He got behind in his work.
Q: What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?
A: a piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye!
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What's the difference between a redneck and poor white trash?
A: a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
A: FUCKS FUNNY
Q: What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Q: What’s 6 inches long and starts with a p?
A: ........... a shit (think about it)
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
A: They both only change their pads after every third period!
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower?
A: Slick her hair back she looks 15..
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