A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night to send his friend a telegram which read ," I am perfectly well." A week later , the joker received a heavy parcel - collect - on witch he head to pay considerable charges .upon opening it, he found a big block of concrete witch had this message ," this is the weight your telegram lifted from my mind.
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Customer - My wife needs a pair of Jeans...but I dont remember her waist size.
Sales girl - touch my waist n try to calculate...
Customer - Oh I forgot that she needs Bra also......
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A new farmer buys several sheep hoping to breed them. After several weeks he notices that none of
the sheep are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial
insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display
his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that
they will stop standing around and will lie down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. The
farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination
means he has to impregnate the sheep. So he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the
woods, screws them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he
deduces that the first try didn’t take and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the
woods, screws each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself,
and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day sheep screwing,
and upon returning home falls exhausted into bed.
The next morning he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife
to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
“No,” she says, “they’re all in the truck and one of them is beeping the horn.”
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