A man walks into a bar with a ferret on his shoulder.
“Sorry, Sir, no ferrets in here,” says the landlord. “You’ll
have to go elsewhere.”
“Now hold on a minute,” says the man, “this ferret does the
best blow job ever.”
“Get out of here,” bellows the landlord angrily. “I don’t have
to listen to such crap.”
“No really,” persists the man. “If you don’t believe me, take
him out the back and see for yourself.”
So the landlord goes out the back and reappears some time
later with a big smile on his face.
“That was bloody fantastic,” he says. “How much do you
want for him?”
“Oh, he’s not for sale.”But the landlord insists and after a certain amount of
bargaining, they agree on a price of £1,200. When the bar
has closed, the landlord takes the ferret home and finds his
wife in the kitchen.
“Gloria! teach this ferret how to keep house, then pack your
bags and bugger off.”
A man goes into a shop and starts looking around. He sees a washer and dryer but there are no
prices listed on them. He asks a salesman who says, “Five dollars for both of them.”
“You’ve got to be joking!” the man says.
“No, that’s the price,” the salesman says. “Do you want to buy them or not?”
“Yeah, I’ll take them,” the man says. He continues to look around and sees a car stereo system with
a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, and speakers.
“How much?” he asks.
“Five dollars for the system, including installation,” the salesman says.
“Is it stolen?” the man asks incredulously.
“No,” says the salesman, “It’s brand new. Do you want it or not?”
“Certainly,” the man says. He looks around some more. As the salesman is ringing up the
purchases, the man asks him, “Why are your prices so cheap?”
The salesman says, “Well, the owner of the shop is at my house right now with my wife, and what
he’s doing to her, I’m doing to his business!”
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