Whatsapp Jokes Nessage: 100 Super Funny One Liner Jokes For Whatsapp

What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?
You are just jealous of me. The reason being - I make your spouse scream louder than you!

Man: Why are beating your son in law so badly?
He replies: I sent hi message that you have become father but he forwarded this message to his friends!

Boy messages text his Girl "Honey, I can't live without you! When you come to me?"Here is the KILLING Reply -"Who is dying! I lost my saved numbers, kindly tell me your name?"

I thing..Fear Factor would have been much scarier if it had just been people in their twenties trying to figure out how to have careers!

Photographer: My secret of success is? 'Think negative'!

Make no mistakes. The junior is your biggest prospect!

Wife: If I would have been married to a Monster, I would have been felt much better than with you...
Man: But marriages are not allowed in same blood relation!!

I have already acted on your memo on saving power in my department by an immediate ban on employee empowerment!

My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said that at the end of this ruler is a dumb. I got a detention after asking which end!

It is better to be late than to arrive ugly!

How Bedroom smells after marriages:

First 3 months - Perfumes and Flowers!

After 12 months - Baby Powder, Cream, diapers and Lotions!

After 7 Years - Balms, Move and pain killers..

Why do she make weird faces in pictures? Because it's better to look ugly on purpose.
Description: Here we poke fun at the people who pretend to be over-smart. Some people think that they are very genius that we can not smell what's happening in their mind. But they catch her. I know she is not beautiful so that is why she makes crazy faces in pictures. After reading 'ugly on purpose' statement, no-one can control their laughter.

When will Persian cats begin to join the armed forces?
When you cut their furlough.
submitted by Julia Gandrud

If Olive Oil is made from Olives and Vegetable oils from Vegetables, then what is Baby oil made from???
submitted by Naveen Khanna

Him: I kiss my Wife everyday before I leave for Office, what about you?
Me : Me too, after you leave!!

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.

The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient. He's shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head. The doctor's cries, "Oh my god, how did that happen?"
The frog answered "I don't know; it began as a pimple on my but-t."

One day little sunny and his friend were playing by a stream. Sunny noticed a bush and went over to it. His friend couldn't figure out why sunny was at the bush for so long so he went over to the bush to have a look. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing without any clothes in the stream.
While playing, suddenly little sunny took off running. His friend couldn't understand why he had run away so he took off after him. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he had run away. Little Johnny said, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady
I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

Dad: What time did you go to bed last night?
Me: Sorry but that information is confidential!
Point of laughing: This is very exhilarated joke. It portrays the conversation between parents and their teenagers. They are so fun and party loving that asking for what time they sleep really creates the situation to laugh on. It need not to be disclosed!

Warning: Touching wire can cause instant death.
250$ fine too!

I think...therefore, I'm.... single!

World's shortest Joke ever is when Doctor asks: How's your headache?
Patient: She is fine!
Description: So if you are married you better understand this. She always go after you and can not see you happy at all. She keeps on the burden of expectation to husband and filled with endless complaints. So how is that!

My neighbor is so short, when he sneezes, he hits her head on the floor.
Description: The right joke when you want to make punch on those small height people. Their forehead touches the ground, LoL. Thank God they don't fall down and roll!

Never ask for the ‘High Five' from a short person, you can ask for a ‘Low Five'!

Yo mama so small she poses for trophies!

The surprising thing you can hear from a midget is 'Your hair smells good'.

He asked me: How's the weather up there? and I replied: Its warm, how's it down there?

Girl goes on a party but on her way she hits a small car. the car stops and a dwarf comes out. He runs to the girl's cars and yells "I am not Happy!" so she replies: "Then which one are you?"

Once a midget gets on an elevator and somehow pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The short man stares and says "You're the biggest man I have ever seen." The man nods his head, and replies "I'm 6-10, weigh 286 lbs., and I repair fax machine, I'm Turner Brown." He faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said I'm 6-10, weigh 286 lbs., I repair fax machines, my name is Turner Brown." He looked relieved and started laughing. "For a minute there, I thought you said ‘I am a s ex machine, Turn Around'."

Girl having Lessor height goes to the doctors with a sore fanny, she says can you cure it doctor, he says yes, goes down below with a pair of scissors.
After he finished, she asks: Have you cured it.
Yes, doctor says
But how? Girl asks?
I just cut two inches off the top of your wellies!!

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Interpretation: Don't try above formula to impress your boos. Just kidding. But how smarty he uses the terms early and late just by replacing one with another.

I want you to continue sacking. I don't want people to believe that we've one soft.

For quick personal success, listen to my mantra: 'Please your boss'!
Interpretation: It is strange but true! As I am doing extremely well by doing so. Try your best to make your boss happy, laugh with him, say yes to his all wrong decisions and grow enough.

Mack: What sign were you born under?
Silky: No Parking!
Description: What a hilarious reply. Mack was just asking about her sun-sign but she made him fool by her witty answer. It also refers that she believes in breaking the rules even since from her birth!

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
Explanation: Don't underestimate old people! They are much experienced in everything and their stamina rocks. That is why she surprised he grandson by her reply. Can you imagine? Really so brave but funny too!

Behind every great man is a woman with a hostage.
- Jim Kinloch