Funny English Jokes: The Next Door Jokes

Two men lived next door to each other for over 20 years but
they couldn’t have been more different. Sam was a model
citizen, church every Sunday, a parish counsellor and a
charity worker. Geoff was a drinker, gambler and a man for
the ladies. Eventually Geoff died, he was quite young but
the riotous life did him no favours. Then 15 years later, Sam
passed away and arrived in heaven where he was astonished
to see his ex-next-door neighbour lounging on a cloud, a
huge barrel of beer next to him and a naked lady sitting on
his lap.
“Why, that’s outrageous!” exclaimed Sam. ‘I strive to be a
good citizen on earth so that I might enjoy the fruits of
heaven and when I get here I see Geoff. He should have
been in hell.”
“Oh he’s in hell alright,” said the angel, “That beer barrel’s
got a hole in it…and the woman hasn’t.”

Wrost Gynecologist Jokes Ever You Read

There was a famous heart specialist doctor who died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart-statue,to show appreciation for his work.When the minister finishedwith the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside and the huge heart closed.Just at that moment one of the mourners burst out in laughter. The guy next to himasked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the manreplied."What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist.''

Pure Non Veg Jokes: Hindi Languages Jokes

Get daily most funny non veg jokes in Hindi and English language.

7 Sadhu 7 Chatayi Ke Uper Bethe Thhe.
Ek Aadmi Ne Aake Bade Sadhu Se Pucha: “Baba, Ladkiya Cho*ot Nahi Deti Kya Karu?”
Sadhu Chote Sadhu Se: “Oye, Ek Aur Chatayi Laga Bhai Ke Liye, Aaj Se Ye Bhi Hamare Sath Hai“

Now some funny non veg jokes in Hindi language

1.मैं- भैया प्याज देना।
सब्जी वाला - बैग लाये हो ? मै - क्यों आपके पास पॉलिथीन नहीं है ?
सब्जी वाला - पैसे वाले बैग की बात कर रहा हूँ ?

2.पिता: उदास क्यों है बेटा?
बेटा: नहीं बता सकता
आपको।
पिता: अपना दोस्त समझ
के बता दे।
बेटा: अब क्या बताऊं यार..
…तेरी भाभी
आईफोन मांग रही है।
दे थप्पड़, दे थप्पड़, दे थप्पड़!

3. तो सर्कस का सम्मान घट
जायेगा !
उसने चुपचाप बंदर को दफना दिया और एक
बेरोजगार दुबले पतले युवा को कहा कि वो
बंदर की खाल पहन कर करतब दिखाए अच्छे
पैसे मिलेंगे
वो राजी हो गया, और करतब दिखाने
लगा ।
दर्शकों की रुचि को ध्यान में रखकर और
अच्छा प्रर्दशन करने लगा अब तो सर्कस
और ज्यादा मशहूर हो गया हर शो फुल
जाता था।
एक दिन हुवा यूं कि वो बंदर रस्सी पर
गुलाटियां लेते हुए करतब दिखा रहा था
अचानक रस्सी छूट गयी और वो भद्द से
उपर से खुले शेर के पिंजड़े में जा टपका एकदम
शेर के सामने !
उसकी हालत खराब, वो बचाओ ! बचाओ !
चिल्लाने ही वाला था कि शेर ने उसके मुंह
पर हाथ रखा और कान में बोला- ".
.
.
अबे चुप ! मेरी भी नौकरी खायेगा क्या?"

Funny Anniversary Jokes Whatsapp Messages 28 Nov 2014

On their anniversary, Winston Churchill and his wife were dining. A reporter saw them and asked
him this question. “If you were to die and come back, who would you like to be?” He said, “I
would like to be Mrs. Churchill's second husband.”
Once at a formal dinner, Winston Churchill was not observing all the rules of propriety according
to a certain lady. Flustered, she exclaimed, “Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband I would give
you poison to drink.” He replied, “Dear lady, if I were your husband, I would gladly drink it.”

Dirty English Whatsapp Messages On Adult Jokes

An adult funny humor for making a good whatsapp messages.

Two women were in the kitchen listening to their husbands’
conversation.
“It’s incredible,” said the first lady, “that all they can talk
about is golf and sex.”
“Oh I don’t know,” replied her friend. “You must remember
at their ages that’s all they can do – talk about it.”

Whatsapp Funny Jokes Series: Adams Rib

Adams Rib The funny English jokes whatsapp message
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?”
Adam said, “Lord, I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
God said, “Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give ‘love’ and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behavior or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…”
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God said, “An arm and a leg…”
Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”

Funny English Adult Jokes: Stupid Man In The Earth

The Most Stupid Man On Earth
There was a flood in a village.
One man said to everyone, “I’ll stay! God will save me!”
The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said “Come on mate, get in!”
"No" replied the man. God will save me!
The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.”
No, God will save me!” he said
Eventually he died by drowning.
He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God “Why didn’t you save me?”
God replied, “For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!”

Best Funny English Adult Jokes On 18 April 2014

A man went for a meal in a kosher restaurant and said to the
waiter, “Excuse me, do you have matzoballs?”
“No sir,” he replied. “It’s just the way I walk.”
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Did you hear about the man who so hated his mother-in-law
that he cut the tail off the dog so there would be no visible
signs of welcome!