Funny English Jokes: Whatsapp Message Sent On 21 June 2014

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink.*
While he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The* monkey grabs some olives off of
the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them*. He then jumps onto the pool table,
grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it into his mouth, and to everyo*ne’s amazement, somehow
swallows it whole!*
The bartender screa**ms at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says, “No. W*hat?”
“He just ate the cue ball* off my pool table... WHOLE!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surpr*ise me,” replies the guy. “He eats everything in sight. The little bastard.
Sorry, I’ll pay for the cue *ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate, and then leave/s.
Two weeks later he’s in the *bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the
monkey starts running around* the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar, *grabs it, sticks it up its ass, pulls it out, and then eats it. The bartender
is disgusted.*
“Did you see *what your monkey did?” he asks.
“No. What?” asks the guy.
“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out, and ate it!” said the bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since
he swallowed that cue ball, he measures things first!!”