Funny English Jokes: The Next Door Jokes
Two men lived next door to each other for over 20 years but
they couldn’t have been more different. Sam was a model
citizen, church every Sunday, a parish counsellor and a
charity worker. Geoff was a drinker, gambler and a man for
the ladies. Eventually Geoff died, he was quite young but
the riotous life did him no favours. Then 15 years later, Sam
passed away and arrived in heaven where he was astonished
to see his ex-next-door neighbour lounging on a cloud, a
huge barrel of beer next to him and a naked lady sitting on
his lap.
“Why, that’s outrageous!” exclaimed Sam. ‘I strive to be a
good citizen on earth so that I might enjoy the fruits of
heaven and when I get here I see Geoff. He should have
been in hell.”
“Oh he’s in hell alright,” said the angel, “That beer barrel’s
got a hole in it…and the woman hasn’t.”
they couldn’t have been more different. Sam was a model
citizen, church every Sunday, a parish counsellor and a
charity worker. Geoff was a drinker, gambler and a man for
the ladies. Eventually Geoff died, he was quite young but
the riotous life did him no favours. Then 15 years later, Sam
passed away and arrived in heaven where he was astonished
to see his ex-next-door neighbour lounging on a cloud, a
huge barrel of beer next to him and a naked lady sitting on
his lap.
“Why, that’s outrageous!” exclaimed Sam. ‘I strive to be a
good citizen on earth so that I might enjoy the fruits of
heaven and when I get here I see Geoff. He should have
been in hell.”
“Oh he’s in hell alright,” said the angel, “That beer barrel’s
got a hole in it…and the woman hasn’t.”
X-Rated English Jokes For Whatsapp Funny Messages: Adams Rib
Adams Rib
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?”
Adam said, “Lord, I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
God said, “Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love’ and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…”
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God said, “An arm and a leg…”
Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”..
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?”
Adam said, “Lord, I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
God said, “Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love’ and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…”
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God said, “An arm and a leg…”
Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”..
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